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Randy Dobnak agrees on five-year contract extension

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The ‘Stache earns a stash.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Tampa Bay Rays Nathan Ray Seebeck-USA TODAY Sports

While you weren’t sleeping (most likely), the Minnesota Twins agreed to keep one of their young, promising northpaws around for the next half a decade, or at least to pay him for that length of time:

Randy Dobnak, memetic mustachioed mound maetro and top-rated Uber driver, has flown up the ranks of Minnesota’s pitching staff since 2019, rising from A-ball to the majors while pitching both in relief and as a starter. This spring, he pitched in four games (three starts) to the tune of a 1-0 record and 0.66 ERA, allowing just six hits over 13.2 innings with 18 strikeouts and a 0.44 WHIP, and is already confirmed to have earned his way onto the Opening Day roster.

Notably, this deal is very low-cost for the 26-year-old Dobnak, who has only played in parts of two seasons, but it locks in the cost of the deal while buying out Dobnak’s arbitration years. Though it includes club options, the Twins electing to commit the money to Dobnak is an indication that they believe in the pitcher he is and the pitcher he can become.

Either way, this is news for the future of Minnesota’s pitching staff, whether Dobnak pitches out of the bullpen (where Passan reports he’ll begin the year) or as a starter (where he may end up anyway). It’s fantastic news for Dobnak, and perhaps worse news for Uber, who may be losing one of their best drivers.