Brewers 6, Twins 5: Can we close opening day back up?

Opening day is finally here and the Twins are taking on th- ope, wait, yep. Josh Donaldson has hurt his leg. Alright. Get that one squared away early.

Anyway, the Twins struck first in the 3rd, when a wild pitch allowed Jake Cave to score, and then a single by Max Kepler knocked Miguel Sano in from 2nd. With 2 outs and a runner on first in the bottom of said inning, Kenta Maeda Kenta Maed a mistake, hitting Christian Yelich with a pitch and then subsequently forgetting he was one of the best pitchers in the league. Avisail Garcia singled, then Travis Shaw drew a bases loaded walk for the first Brewer run of the day.

The Twins Pirahna-ed back the run in the 4th when Andrelton Simmons singled, Maeda used his NL experience to bunt him to 2nd, then Starting Left-Fielder who never actually played a moment in left Luis Arraez knocked him in with a single.

Maeda labored through the 4th, but got out with 0 damage. The same couldn’t be said of his 5th. Yelich lead off with a single, Garcia struck out, then Travis Shaw came to the plate.

Hey remember that Andrelton Simmons guy? Best defensive short-stop of our time? The guy whose signing made the Twins poised to be an elite defensive team?

Yeah well he’s gonna make an error on a routine play. Everyone’s safe, Tyler Duffey Comes in and immediately gives up a single to Lorenzo Cain, leading to a the Bases Bloated Presented by Bally Borts. I don’t actually want to check who the next guy was again. Guy hit a single, 3-2 ballgame.

In the 7th, Byron Buxton Byron Blasted a two-run dinger to give the Twins some nice breathing room. The Brewers fell silent until the bottom of the 9th arrived.

Remember Alex Colomé? The big offseason bullpen signing? Well he’s gonna make an error and also blow the save, because it wouldn’t be Twins baseball without totally ruining my day in the 9th inning.

Wow, this is turning into a really negative recap! Let’s take a break in a new segment I like to call, Pictures of my Cat in A Witch’s Hat.

This has been Pictures of My Cat in a Witch’s Hat. Back to Tawny with the sadness.

Thanks Tawny! Hey, remember Willians Astudillo? That guy who basically never strikes out? We’ll he’s gonna strike out to start the 10th. Arraez and Cave are gonna strikeout too for good measure. Don’t want Astudillo to feel bad.

Randy Dobnak gets the 10th, giving up a single and then a fielder’s choice. Not optimal, but not a huge deal, right? Oh wait no I forgot, we’re playing kickball during recess in 3rd grade, so the ghost runner who started the inning on second scored and the Twins lose.

A cat-witch’s curse be upon whomever made up that filthy rule.

STUDS: Max Kepler - A dong away from the cycle.

DUDS: The Alex Colomé Experience

ROBOT ROLL CALL!!!!

BYE.