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Royals 11, Twins 3: Nah!

No thanks!

MLB: Kansas City Royals at Minnesota Twins Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Nope! Don’t worry about it!

Ain’t nothin’ but a thing. Twins get rocked, 11-3, after a couple of encouraging wins raised some optimism about rattling off something of a winning streak to open the month of May. Whatever, man! It’s whatever. It’s all good.

Matt Shoemaker? Homers? Chill, brother. Who cares if he gave up another two homers. It ain’t nothing but a thing. It’s no big deal. Eight earned runs in less than four innings? No big deal! It’s whatever. Don’t even worry about it. Don’t even worry about it. Why would you be worried about it?

Speaking of numbers — here’s some numbers! Numbers are awesome. Right? They’re just cool! Let’s look at numbers.

  • Twins starting pitcher exits with a 7.83 ERA
  • First reliever exits having dropped his to an 8.22 ERA
  • Next reliever finishes with an 8.16 ERA
  • Final reliever lowers his ERA to 7.45

Cool stuff, right? Yeah! It’s whatever! Dude. Numbers. That’s all that is. It’s just numbers. Don’t let them bother you!

10-0 in the sixth inning. Whaaaateeeeeeever. Nope! That’s all you gotta say. You look at that, you just say - nope! “Hey, it’s ten to nothing right now.” “Nope! No it isn’t.” “What?” “Nope!” That’s all. That’s the entirety of what you need to do. And it all gets better. It feels better now! Right? Just say, “nope!” I bet you feel better.

Check this out — Kirilloff? Another barrel. Another bomba. That’s three in the series already. Cruz had one, too — number eight on the year. That’s great!

It’s all good. It may, in fact, be gucci. 11-3? No way, man. No thanks! No thanks, in fact. Noooo way. Not for me! It’s just not for me. I’m not down with that. So I’m not gonna...I’m not gonna! I just won’t. Because why? Because it’s allllllll good. It’s whatever!

No thanks. Nah!


DH Nelson Cruz (1-for-4, R, 2 RBI, HR)


SP Matt Shoemaker (3.1 IP, 8 H, 9 R, 2 BB, 0 K, 2 HR)

RP Randy Dobnak (3 IP, 3 H, 2 R, BB, 3 K, 2 H)

RF Kyle Garlick (0-for-4, 2 K)



This one was green. So I picked it! Whatever!