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Angels 7, Twins 1: The pain is only beginning

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We have one more game to go!

Minnesota Twins v Los Angeles Angels - Game One Photo by Meg Oliphant/Getty Images

Well this Lewis Thorpe start didn’t go well. What is there even to say? Twins legend, Rob Refsnyder got a sac fly RBI for the lone Twins run, so that’s....a thing.

Phil Gosselin, a real baseball player and not a name I just made up, took Thorpe long in the first, and though the Twins tied it back up quick with the aforementioned Rob Ref Sac Time, it already felt like it was over. This is the 2021 Twins we are talking about. It is ALWAYS over.

I could recap the other 6 Angel runs, but I don’t have any desire to. I could talk about how BANNED CRIMINAL PLAYER Tyler Duffey probably should have just accepted his suspension instead of giving up a 3 run dinger (Or 2 run. Or Whatever it was, I’m not looking it up.) but that seems a little mean spirited, and I’m only broken spirited right now.

I could categorize each Angel’s player by what type of angel they are. Shohei Ohtani is clearly a cherubim, because he would need the heads of a man, ox, lion, and eagle to wear all the hats he wears. However, I’ve already realized this idea is stupid and dumb.

Anyway, here’s this:

Watch that video with this music on loop for 6 minutes. That’s my recap.

Okay, gotta run. I have to collect all the boxes in this Crash Bandicoot level before the next game starts!

STUDS: ??????

DUDS: YES.

ROBOT ROLL CALL OF SADNESS AND DESPAIR AND MILDLY UPSET STOMACHS