Twins 6, Angels 3: No Baldelli, No Problem

Suspended for the 2nd game of the double header and sent back to the deli for balls, Rocco Baldelli was absent for the nightcap and the Twins won anyway. That’s not gonna fuel any hot takes on Twitter or anything.

The top of the first went about as good as an inning can go, when a Max Kepler double, sandwiched between two 1-out walks, led to Miguel Sano up with the bases loaded against Angel’s starter Griffon Canning. (Do not can griffons. Those things can understand common in 3rd edition. Leave them be!) Sano did the only thing Sano seems to do these days and hit a grand fuckin’ dong over the wall for 4 entire runs.

It was a beautiful moment, and after a lopsided loss earlier in the day amidst an abysmal season, it was a much needed moment. A dude absolutely obliterates a hunk of rawhide and string over a wall and suddenly life is good. For that moment all the horrors of life drift away and you are no longer a scared soul trapped in a decaying flesh vessel hurtling pointlessly through the void. Instead you are joy made manifest. Ball hit far. All is good.

José Berríos didn’t have the strongest showing, seemingly doing his darndest to give back the lead. First by giving up a solo HR to leadoff man and fellow José , José Rojas, then in the 2nd by allowing RBI hits from legendary hitters Taylor Ward(?) and Drew Butera(!) to bring the Angels within 1.

The Twins got two more runs on two more dinger dinger banana fanna fo fingers, first in the 3rd by Mitch Garver, then in the 7th by Trevor Larnach.

STUDS:

Josh Donaldson, Bringer of Walks: 3 Walks
Hansel Robles: No drama save!?!!!!!
Miguel Sano: Grandest Slam
Trevor Larnach: First MLB Dinger!!!!

DUDS: I REFUSE TO DUDS, THE MAN CAN’T FORCE ME

ROBOT ROLL CALL!!!!!

Comment of the day goes to the concept of keeping score.