clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Kyle Garlick orders a pizza

New, 2 comments

Or at least he tries to.

Pizza vending machine divides culinary opinion in Rome Photo by Johannes Neudecker/picture alliance via Getty Images

Midday on Monday, our top-secret technology was able to capture a phone conversation, and we are now able to bring you the transcribed results.

Hello? This is Papa John’s, right? I need to order a large pizza.

My name? Garlick

Wait, no, I don’t want garlic on my pizza

I told you my name, its Garlick

What do you mean you’re confused?

No, I don’t want garlic on the pizza, I want pepperoni and olives.

What do you mean you still need my name?

I told you, its Garlick.

Ugh, no, please don’t put garlic on my pizza.

My name is Garlick. Gar-lick. Garlick.

No, not garlic. My name is Garlick. I don’t want garlic.

You’re still confused? C’mon man.

The name is Garlick. G-A-R-L-I-C-K

Yeah. Garlick. No garlic.

You got that now. Pepperoni and olives. For Garlick. No Garlic.

Look, do you follow the Twins? Garlick. The outfielder? Hit a home run last night?

What do you mean you only watch the Timberwolves? Do you really hate life that much?

*Inaudible*

*Inaudible*

Okay, look, thanks for your time, but forget it. I’m just gonna order online.