Jorge Alcala: Doesn’t actually exist, and is an elaborate prank being played by Thad Levine.
José Berríos: That “pulling a car” workout started when a MiLB teammate was too broke to afford a tow truck.
Alex Colomé: Takes out Rocco Baldelli’s trash every Thursday morning
Randy Dobnak: Has a special pair of rec specs just for wearing in the shower
Tyler Duffey: Really wants a pet alpaca
J.A. Happ: Occasionally forgets what his own initials stand for.
Kenta Maeda: has an elaborate prank planned to play on the President of the USA, if he wins a World Series and gets invited to the White House.
Michael Pineda: Always makes a second trip through the hotel breakfast buffet on “Biscuits and Gravy” days
Hansel Robles: Actually has a sister named Gretel.
Taylor Rogers: Hides bricks in the bottom of Rocco’s trash can on Wednesday nights.
Matt Shoemaker: literally makes his own shoes in the offseason. Big fan of moccasins, and says that’s the real reason he signed with Minnesota.
Cody Stashak: Sends Duffey alpaca pictures on a regular basis
Caleb Thielbar: Also has to look up how to spell his name on occasion.
Mitch Garver: Has every pitcher on the team’s phone number memorized.
Ben Rortvedt: Once bench pressed a cow on a dare. Being a good Sconnie, he did make sure it was a dairy cow.
Luis Arraez: Visited Universal Studios this winter, but chickened out of the Hulk roller coaster, says it looked too scary.
Willians Astudillo: Walks an invisible dog around the clubhouse after wins.
Josh Donaldson: Cut his own hair with a pocketknife when he was in high school
Jorge Polanco: Is still looking for a box of cookies that Joe Mauer told him was hidden somewhere at Target Field.
Andrelton Simmons: Still uses a flip phone.
Byron Buxton: Was picked last for kickball in middle school—once.
Jake Cave: refuses to travel through any state with a direction in the name.
Kyle Garlick: Once took a first date to Culvers. They split an order of cheese curds. There was no second date.
Max Kepler: In addition to English and German, also speaks fluent Klingon
Alex Kirilloff: Is part of an order of monks who only smile once every 17 years.
Nelson Cruz: Has a lucky pair of slippers that travel with him.