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Little-known facts about the current Twins

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That are entirely made up and not at all true

Boston Red Sox v Minnesota Twins Photo by Brace Hemmelgarn/Minnesota Twins/Getty Images

Jorge Alcala: Doesn’t actually exist, and is an elaborate prank being played by Thad Levine.

José Berríos: That “pulling a car” workout started when a MiLB teammate was too broke to afford a tow truck.

Alex Colomé: Takes out Rocco Baldelli’s trash every Thursday morning

Randy Dobnak: Has a special pair of rec specs just for wearing in the shower

Tyler Duffey: Really wants a pet alpaca

J.A. Happ: Occasionally forgets what his own initials stand for.

Kenta Maeda: has an elaborate prank planned to play on the President of the USA, if he wins a World Series and gets invited to the White House.

Michael Pineda: Always makes a second trip through the hotel breakfast buffet on “Biscuits and Gravy” days

Hansel Robles: Actually has a sister named Gretel.

Taylor Rogers: Hides bricks in the bottom of Rocco’s trash can on Wednesday nights.

Matt Shoemaker: literally makes his own shoes in the offseason. Big fan of moccasins, and says that’s the real reason he signed with Minnesota.

Cody Stashak: Sends Duffey alpaca pictures on a regular basis

Caleb Thielbar: Also has to look up how to spell his name on occasion.

Mitch Garver: Has every pitcher on the team’s phone number memorized.

Ben Rortvedt: Once bench pressed a cow on a dare. Being a good Sconnie, he did make sure it was a dairy cow.

Luis Arraez: Visited Universal Studios this winter, but chickened out of the Hulk roller coaster, says it looked too scary.

Willians Astudillo: Walks an invisible dog around the clubhouse after wins.

Josh Donaldson: Cut his own hair with a pocketknife when he was in high school

Jorge Polanco: Is still looking for a box of cookies that Joe Mauer told him was hidden somewhere at Target Field.

Andrelton Simmons: Still uses a flip phone.

Byron Buxton: Was picked last for kickball in middle school—once.

Jake Cave: refuses to travel through any state with a direction in the name.

Kyle Garlick: Once took a first date to Culvers. They split an order of cheese curds. There was no second date.

Max Kepler: In addition to English and German, also speaks fluent Klingon

Alex Kirilloff: Is part of an order of monks who only smile once every 17 years.

Nelson Cruz: Has a lucky pair of slippers that travel with him.