clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Rangers 4, Twins 3 - Extra Innings for extra pain

New, 20 comments

When will the suffering end?!

MLB: Texas Rangers at Minnesota Twins Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

Twins lose in extra innings lol. That’s the recap goodnight!

STUDS: Nick Gordon - First MLB hit, 2 Stolen Bases
DUDS: Phil Cuzzi

Wait, I have to write more than that? Fine.

It is May 6th and I already don’t know how I’m going to come up with a fresh new way to tell you about another depressing extra innings loss.

Twins had a lead early? Check.

Bullpen blew that lead? Check.

Umpire has no business calling balls and strikes? Check.

Important player gets injured? Check.

Stupid free extra-innings runner immediately scores? Check.

This is like trying to write a new version of Romeo and Juliet. Its been done. It has ALL been done. It would be pretentious of me to think I could come up with a new way to tell this same old tale, so let’s blow through it.

Max Kepler’s gonna lead off the bottom of the 1st with a dong, gonna build that hope up early, but don’t look now Joey Gallo is gonna lead off Texas’s 2nd with his own dong. Its a dong for dong day. After a double and a line-out, Isiah Kiner-Falifah is gonna get an RBI single to give Texas a 2-1 lead.

But that’s okay because in the 3rd, Wild Wild Willains Astudillo is gonna hit a two run single, driving in Kepler and Byron Buxton.

In the 7th Hansel Robles would quickly induce back-to-back groundouts, but then Basebalzebub, the patron demon of making Minnesota sports fans sad, remembered it was late in the game and flicked the “lol u suck now xd” switch. aaaand now Jonah Heim has homered to tie the game back up and I begin to realize that Dante’s Inferno was about ME.

For some bonus despair points, Buxton is going to limp to first base in the 9th and get pulled from the game. Please excuse my language, but golly gee that’s a real downer.

Anyway in the 10th the Rangers are going to take the lead on a lead-off single by Willie Calhoun because apparently we as a society are allowing things like that to happen now.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?
IS THIS JUST FANTASY?
CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE
NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

Comment of the Day goes to Joel, but not the Joel you are thinking of. Some other Joel.