After last night’s episode of Matty Meltdown, I put the question out to the universe — or at least our Twitter followers.
Everyone: suggest a better alternative line of employment for Matt Shoemaker. Best answers featured in a post— Twinkie Town (@TwinkieTown) June 12, 2021
As expected, the universe (or at least you wonderful Twitter weirdos) did not disappoint.
Several of you suggest he should take his name more literally.
Cobbler feels a bit obvious, but still.— Jake Iverson (@jakeiverson57) June 12, 2021
A literal shoemaker— hayden (@haydenaudette51) June 12, 2021
Head marketing strategist of Christian Louboutin— Adam Seth Moss (@LFNJSinner) June 12, 2021
I guess its a good thing his name isn’t “Matt Badpitcher” or we’d never be rid of him.
Others suggested roles where his current talents might be put to better use.
One inning reliever— Brandon Warne (@Brandon_Warne) June 12, 2021
Work at an Italian place, he can serve up meatball sandwiches— Faith (@swimszns) June 12, 2021
Little league coach where all he has to do is put it on the tee. Seems to be pretty good at that— Parker Mulder (@ParksMulder) June 12, 2021
DJ - serving up all the hits!— Tyler Melroe (@tylermelroe) June 12, 2021
Still others didn’t even trust him that close to bases and/or balls, and suggested he go another direction entirely.
Wally the Beer Man— Jimmy Mohler (@jimmeapolis) June 12, 2021
Uber driver?— Minnesota Husker (@Penney1188) June 12, 2021
Uber driver. Have Dobnak show him the ropes.— John Shannon (@ShannonRadioTFI) June 12, 2021
One of you, however, made a joke that went “wide left” of the mark.
Kicker for the Vikings— Turbo Tad (@TadDorsey1) June 12, 2021
A couple of you creative souls, best of all, found ways he could still help his teammates out.
Trade him to the whitesox so we can gain some ground in the division.— Jordan Engen (@Engen13) June 12, 2021
Retirement— Ron rubin (@rk2022) June 12, 2021
Free agent— Cody Warne (@WarneCody) June 12, 2021
Willians Astudillo— Andy (@andythetwinsfan) June 12, 2021
Who among us wouldn’t be Willians Astudillo, if given the choice? If you can be Willians Astudillo, you be Willians Astudillo.
What else could Shoemaker be doing for a living?