Game 90: Twins at Tigers (DELAYED TO TODAY)

Update: Per the Twins, both games are being postponed. This game will be played tomorrow, while the second is being delayed to August 31. That said, I believe James’ work should see the light of day, so use this space to discuss cheese. Or something. -TJ

Time: 12:10 Central. Vegas Line: MIN -113 / DET + 103

Weather: Overcast, 74° at scheduled gametime, rain Very Likely Rain over, 73°

Opponent’s excellent SB site: Bless You Boys

TV: BS North. Radio: In my mind and in my car

Per Phil Miller of the Star Tribune, rookie lefthander Charlie Barnes will be starting Game 1 today for the Twins. We know he's a Saint; but is Barnes Noble? Seth Stohs of Twins Daily has this overview of Barnes’s early career and skillset (featuring a totally cool photo of Barnes being visited on the mound by La Tortuga). Basically, he’s a typical Twins starter ca. 2003 or so; a sinker/slider guy who hovers around 90 with the fastball and is stingy with walks. He’s not on the 40, which I think is full, so maybe there’s a roster move? I dunno, I’m typing this Thursday night. 2021 digits:

His opponent, José Ureña, is a former Marlins draftee who was only the fourth “live ball” hurler to get ejected after his first pitch, back in 2018. He plunked Atlanta’s Ronald Acuna for the Unwritten Rule violation of hitting a bunch of home runs in previous games, and the benches cleared, as they say. Ureña throws sinker/slider stuff as well, although his is a little harder and a little wilder.

Lineups aren’t available yet, and hey, these pitchers might be moved around, too. But then you can Use What You’ve Learned for the night game! (All fixed now. This site will never lie to you. Although I might.)

In the night game, Detroit will be having one of their Chip and Dip Bowl giveaways, which look like this:

Better or worse than the traditional Twins helmet full of nachos? Better, I’d argue. Yes, it has the ugly Lay’s logo in the middle, but if you used this to actually serve party food, you’d cover the logo with dip anyways. You can’t really use the Twins nacho helmet as a party serving tray, not unless you clean it out first and brace it from tipping with an ingenious construction project of some sort, and that’s too much work. Edge: Tigers. Debate amongst yourselves!

(This has since been taken off the Tigers promotion schedule for today. The final destination of 10,000 Chip and Dip Bowls is unspecified; perhaps in dented boxes at Detroit-area Bed Bath & Beyonds? Instead, fans get blah T-shirts. One can also purchase a ticket that comes with a free Leinenkugel’s beer. Leinenkugel’s was a family-owned Wisconsin brewery that made a respectable uncomplicated pilsner; it is now owned by a conglomerate, and sells “fruit”-flavored fizzy Kool-Aid mistakenly labeled as “beer.” My great-great-great grandfather was in the lumber business with Jacob Leinenkugel, who sold his share to start the brewery; my great-great-great grandfather wasted his share and ended up stealing horses, or so jangled family lore has told me.)