Fresh off Wednesday’s loss to the Chicago Pale Hose, I sat down at the ol’ laptop trying to think of what to say... I was grumpy that the Twins just can’t seem to win. But then JA Happ went out on Thursday to pitch a great game through 7, and then Sano hit a bomba to start the late inning rally, Duffy followed that up with a 1-2-3 8th, even striking out certain-to-be-a-first-round-Hall-of-Famer Miguel Cabrera,and in the 9th, Rogers got a quick three outs to end the game, and I was once again filled with joyful hope. They break our hearts for a few days and then play like the team we expected to see. This whiplash is the story of 2021. And I’m a little bored writing about that story. Honestly, what can be said about the 2021 Twins that we haven’t talked about already?
Pitching? We have holes in our starting rotation, no set closer (Rogers can’t get a save if they’re not winning) and our bullpen is often iffy. .
Hitting? Miguel Sano finally just cracked .200 in BA, and both of our (currently healthy) catchers are still hitting below .200. Yet somehow the Twins are still 2nd in the AL in home runs, 6th in batting average, and fifth in OPS.
Player health? Mostly sucky. Currently on the IL: Buxton, Garver, Garlick, Donaldson (day-to-day when I started writing this, but back on Thursday), Dobnak, Stashak, Cave, and even more but I don’t feel like getting into it because ugh.
All Stars? One. And he threw out his neck coughing.
Trade deadline? Rumors and conjecture.
Ok so those things are played out.
I wrote last week about how excited I was to see Josh Donaldson face the White Sox again this week because that’d be interesting, right? Oh. Wait. He was sitting out for a bit because he has the aches and pains again. So no trash talks, boos, or bench clearing brawls.
I considered writing about how Target Field is now open to full capacity and what it looks like in this nearly-post-Covid fog-lift era, maybe as a follow up to my opening day Target Field navigation guide. But really, the most interesting change was that there was an all you can eat situation happening on Monday when I was there:
So with all the things said already, I’m curious:
What can we do to make the Twins interesting again?
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone complains and complains about something, but never takes actions to fix the thing they’re complaining about. For example: the guy who constantly gripes about the government but never votes. In the grand scheme of things, I am unable to do anything to actually fix the team. I can’t make a trade. I can’t fire anyone. I can’t sign anyone. I can’t call up Falvey and Levine and say “hey guys, can we send ________ (insert any player currently sucking) to bye bye island for a while?” I can’t physically treat Buxton/Donaldson’s injuries because I don’t have a medical license (though I know plenty of people who went to Facebook University and Google Medical School, and maybe I could too. My applications to these schools are now pending). I can’t go into the clubhouse and give a pep talk to the team about how the abysmal first half of the season could be the opposite of what’s to come and we could still end up playing .500 baseball by the end of the season.
So what CAN I, a rabid Twins fan, do to stop getting my [heart broken/blood pressure up/anxiety rising/anger raging] by this team?
- I can sell my remaining 2021 tickets. Or better yet, give them away to people that maybe can’t afford to go to a game. (Achievable)
- I can start emailing the Twins front office like they’re members of congress and they’re my elected officials, in hopes that they make some changes. (Not very likely to be read but hey, it’s something). Falvey for actual president in 2024? Eh. Probs not.
- I can turn off the notifications that I get on my phone from ESPN with game start, scores, etc. No need to be told every other inning about all the runs the other team is racking up against our pitchers. (Easy to do)
- I can turn off the radio/tv. I love you, Dick Bremer, Justin Morneau, Marney Gellner, Dan Gladden, Corey Provus, et al, but I don’t love how you have to bring me sadness on such a regular basis. (Also an easy fix)
- I can watch old games like we did last season before baseball came back from the Covid pause. It was fun to watch the 87 and 91 teams on the field again.
- I can spend my time with Twinkie Town talking about things like the Twins Community Fund, promotions, giveaways, Target Field, fun events, and non-game/injury related things.
I could do all of these things. I could. But we all know I won’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.. I just can’t quit these guys. The Twins are making me become the thing that annoys me the most and I’m even being paid to write about it. And you know what? I’ll probably continue to love and support them until the end of days.
So let’s play front office, friends. How would YOU, the readers, fix this team?
What would be your first order of business if you became the new Twins president?
This poll is closed
Fire the chill, even keeled Rocco Baldelli and replace him with a guy like Ozzie Guillen.
Sign an ace pitcher and keep the core team as is - there’s still hope now that we dumped Shoemaker.
Sign a legit closer and keep the core team as is - Twins are good until the end of the games. Send Colome to bye bye island and use Rogers as the setup guy.
Trade a bunch of prospects to fix the 2021 season. I want to win NOW!
Have a fire sale to trade Sano, Buxton, Berrios, Cruz, Kepler, Donaldson for pitchers that can support our new era of Kirilloff, Larnach, Gordon, and Lewis.
I wouldn’t want the stink of the Twins on me and would never accept this job.
I’d leave things alone. Once we have a healthy team, they’re going to be unstoppable.