Game 116: Rays at Twins

Time: 7:10 Central. Vegas Line: -170 TB / MIN +155

Weather: Almost obscenely idyllic 76° at first pitch

Opponent’s SB site: DRays Bay

TV: BS North. Radio: Nothing matters anyway, and that’s the hell of it

Much will be made of the return by Nelson Cruz to Target Field tonight; let’s hope he shows something spectacular to the fans, presumably only off of starter Mike Pineda whom the Twins have decided they don’t want in the future anyways.

His opponent, Shane “Rue” McClanahan, is a Sexy Senior who moved to Florida following the death of his husband; he’s been lighting up the dating scene with his impersonation of yet another young, talented pitcher coming through the Rays system. In his first season, he’s impressed with his 97-MPH fastball and effective strikeout curve. 2021 digits:

This week's edition of Baseball Stuff TwinkieTowners own comes not from a site reader, but from two friends of ours, J&J (a wonderful couple to talk and drink beer and listen to music with, whom I haven't seen in two years because 2020). It's their dog Gracie, and her classic Dome Home Twins jersey:

It will surprise no dog owner to hear that while Gracie likes the attention of getting her jersey put on, she's rather ambivalent about actually wearing it; dogs do not "root for the laundry," as the saying goes. I suspect Gracie would also tolerate a Royals or Rays uniform, if this meant loving fuss from the foodgivers. It remains to be seen if Gracie will make a throat-ripping leap at the exposed jugular of any unwary visitor sporting a Yanquis cap; such heathens are wisely disallowed in this fine home.

As always, anyone with similarly adorable Death Dogs (or any other beloved baseball memorabilia) can send their own picture/descriptions to me per twinsbrewer@yahoo.com. Thanks to J&J for their contribution!

EXTRA BONUS FUN! Your obscure radio reference this week was to a 1974 song by PAUL Williams in the movie Phantom Of The Paradise, directed by Brian DePALma. It's kinda sorta about a wrongly ignored talent who kinda sorta haunts the glamorous building he once helped promote; really, the plot makes no sense, but it's a total funbash low-budget classic; James says "check it out."

Because tonight's radio broadcast will feature none other than multiple ex-Twin PAUL Molitor! He'll be filling in for Dan Gladden, who'll be participating in an anniversary thing for the 1991 championship team.

Also absent will be Actual Broadcaster Cory Provus on a mini-vacation, so the booth features nonsequitur genius Kris Atteberry. This pairing is so deranged, it could be either a disaster or the most fun we'll have with a Twins broadcast all year.

Anyhoo, it's a must-listen, so even if you have cable you should find that old portable CD boombox in your closet and tune it to the appropriate station in the hyperlink!