Brewers 6, Twins 2: If a tree falls in the northwoods

The classic question: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around, will anyone hear it?

Also: If a man says something in the forest, and there is no woman around, will he still be wrong?

Also, also: Something about the pope pooping and bears in funny hats, in the forest.

And finally: will anyone notice an ugly Twins loss in a season full of them?

Griffin Jax got the start. There were positive things to build on, but he gave up two more longballs and took the ‘L.’ If that sounds familiar, that’s because its basically what Jax does. He now owns a 6.71 ERA, and has given up like 16 home runs this year. Still, he provided the Twins with five innings, and as many strikeouts tonight.

Luis Urias blasted one of the dongs in the second innings. Folk hero, and spiritual successor to Paul Bunyan, Rowdy Tellez smacked the other one in the third inning. I’m pretty sure Tellez hit that ball all the way back to Milwaukee, and its scheduled to land about 37 minutes before the Brewers’ team plane.

Ian Gibault and Ralph Garza Jr pitched the rest of the game without giving up a run. They both have luscious, flowing hair. Perhaps one of them could be our next folk hero. Or more likely we will forget them on the year-end sporcle quiz.

Both Twins runs came off the bat of Miguel Sano. He hit his 23rd homer of the year in the 4th inning. And I have nothing else to write about except bad jokes. And Tawny will probably try to ban me again if I do that.

Studs:

Miguel Sano, Ian Gibault, Ralph Garza Jr, any Twins fan to watch this game.

Duds:

The entire sport of baseball. Also Bud Selig, just because.

Roll Call: