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Rob Refsnyder 5, Astros 3: Twins almost blow it, eventually do not.

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We’re gonna win Refsnyders, we’re gonna score!

Minnesota Twins v Houston Astros Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

Fresh from getting shot down by a TIE fighter over Tatooine, Griffin Jax took the mound for the Twins against the Astros Thursday night. He would impress.

The scoring started in the 2nd, when Twins Legend Rob Refsnyder sparkplugged it up with a one out single. Miguel Sano and Willians Astudillo continued the #Pirahnas dance with singles of their own, with Refsnyder coming home for the first run on Astudillo’s. Trevor Larnach, that hipster, just had to be unique so he hit a double, bringing Sano in. Andrelton Simmons also didn’t single, instead hitting an RBI groundout, it was a personal decision, do not ask him about it. Then Jorge Polanco brought singles back, with an RBI single of his own.

Flash forward to the bottom of the 6th. Jax had been cruising along, last giving up a hit in the 1st. Old friend Jason Castro ruined that streak with a lead off dinger. In hindsight we should have known he would be a traitor when “astro” was literally in his name. Jax managed to recover briefly, getting Jose Altuve to ground out, but a Chas Mcormick double would knock him out of the game, allowing him to finally go recruit a rogue and a cleric at an inn to go off and hunt an owlbear. Caleb Thielbar came in to save the day and did just that, getting two outs pretty quickly.

Nothing anyone cares about happened for a bit. Then in the 8th, Rob Refsnyder got on base again, ultimately scoring when Simmons finally decided to single.

Anyway, now to the bottom of the 9th with Danny Coulombe pitching. Michael Brantley eked out a 1 out single, bringing sweat to many a Twins fan’s brow. “Boy it sure would suck if Yordan Alvarez hit a big dong right now” they all thought.

So Alvarez hit a big ‘effin dong right then.

Coulombe managed to strike out Aledmys Diaz, but after walking Kyle Tucker on 5 pitches, it was time to take Coulombe out.

“Maybe if his name had less letters in it, this would work out.” Thought Rocco. So Colome came in. Somehow, that actually worked, and Martin Maldonado lined out to end the game. Twins Wins!

STUDS: ROB REFSNYDER

DUDS: NO DUDS, REFSNYDERS WIN!

ROBOT ROLL CALL!!!!!!!!

Thanks to all 6 of you who joined in and kept me company tonight! All of you who didn’t post in the gamethread are BANNED FOR LIFE. Do not @ me.