White Sox 11, Twins 1: Have Mercy

The Twins have now been outscored by the White Sox 119-66 in 17 head-to-head matchups this year. As Uncle Jesse used to exclaim, “Have Mercy!”

The Twins’ brilliant strategy of using an opener rather than starting Charlie Barnes straight-up backfired immediately today. Like, first at-bat immediately. Tim Anderson kicked off the game with lead-off dinger off of Beau Burrows, the Vomit Rocket, and the White Sox never looked back. Eloy Jimenez hit a two-run shot soon after Anderson’s, and the Sox tacked on another one on an appalling error by Miguel Sano.

The bloodbath continued after the Twins went down quietly in the bottom of the 1st, as Jimenez homered again in the second inning- this time for 3-runs. 7-0 by the time the opener left the game. Presumably due to the score, someone named Edgar Garcia was allowed to take the mound, and actually performed relatively admirably, only giving up 1 run in 2.1 innings.

By the time the Twins got their first hit (of two), they were done 8-0 and it was the fifth inning. Sox pitcher Lucas Giolito cruised for 8 innings, giving up only 1 run, which came in the 8th on the Twins’ second hit, Miguel Sano’s big fly.

The White Sox dusted up Charlie Barnes, who did eventually enter the game, for 1 run in each of the 7th, 8th, and 9th, which is how they made it to 11 runs.

All in all, the Twins got pasted from start to finish today, but they mercifully only have two more games against Chicago.

STUDS:

Lol

DUDS:

Everyone, but especially Jake Cave and Beau Burrows

ROBOT ROLL CALL: