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Rays 11, Twins 4: The battered bastwins of baseball

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If you haven’t seen that documentary, stop reading and go watch.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Tampa Bay Rays Mike Watters-USA TODAY Sports

I won’t bury the lede here.

STUDS

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Sure, the Twins got their rocks knocked in this one, with Tampa Bay scoring eleven runs quickly, and falling one home run short of our franchise record for most circuit drives allowed in one game (the record being 7, the Rays having yoinked 6 into the seats.)

But despite all this, there was a random outpouring of kindness in the comment section, where everyone expressed their joy at an opportunity to spend time in a Twinkie Town gamethread, regardless of the score, regardless of the standings, and regardless of the fact that our “rec” color is still not powder blue or even 60’s throwback cream. One day!

Anyway, I think we all appreciate the sense of routine and the feeling of community that comes with baseball fandom, even when (and sometimes especially when) a season is completely lost. There’s enough going on in a single baseball game to keep one entertained, even if the end result has no implication on the hometown squad’s playoff chances.

Today, for example, Andrew Albers was called for a balk, had that balk reversed, then later balked “for real.” He also allowed ten hits, nine runs, and four homers in a three-inning start. I believe it was me who said earlier today that his sub-1.00 ERA wouldn’t likely hold up; as I’ve already changed my username here once (from Brananorama) I unfortunately won’t be able to re-assign my handle to “Actually Nostradamus.”

Also, I’ll be honest. If you asked me earlier today about that new “Gib-” pitcher in our bullpen, I would have said his name was Sean Gibault. His name is actually Ian Gibaut, and he gave up another two homers today.

Additionally, both Randy Arozarena and Jorge Polanco fell a hit short of the cycle today, which seemed like it was the only thing keeping Dick Bremer going in the booth. Neither of them achieved the feat, but other milestones were inched towards; Nelson Cruz is now three homers shy of 30, while Miguel Sano needs just one more for 25 this season.

With eleven runs scored by the home nine before four innings were through, it certainly felt like Minnesota would be absolutely stomped, and that Willians Astudillo would be strolling out to the mound. As it stands, that didn’t happen. The Twins finished the game with real, grade-A pitchers, and the difference in score was only seven by afternoon’s end.

Most importantly, the ledger is now clean, and everybody will be back tomorrow — as, one would think, will most of you guys. Y’all are pretty cool. Thanks for sticking around.

DUDS:

ooOoOoooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you knowwwwwwwwwwww

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