Monday Morning Minnesota: Welcome to the TRANSACTION ZONE edition

Baseball is real! The Twins are....doing things?!!! And most importantly of all, I’m going to be giving you fine folks a bunch of links on Mondays again! Wow! Whoa! Contain your applause until end of the article, cash app link is in bio.

Previously on TwinkieTown:

• Matt Monitto covered the Mitch Garver for Isiah Kiner-Falefa trade, but you really don’t even need to read it, despite Matt’s awesome writing, because
• The IKF Era of Twins baseball ended approximately 6 seconds later when they traded him, Josh Donaldson, and Ben Rortvedt to the arch enemies for Gary Sanchez and Gio Urshela, because the new Moneyball strat is acting like you accidentally clicked “Auto accept all trade offers” in a video game.
• Despite trading their (theoretical) starting Shortstop, Catcher, and Third Basemen for a kinda worse catcher and third baseman, the Twins seem to not be tearing it down because the also acquired Sonny Gray! What is going on?!!!
• Step 1: Do a bunch of random ass trades.
• Step 2: ????
• Step 3: Win?!
• Well now that it is relevant again due to Kiner-Falefa accidentally getting stuck in a revolving door, Benjamin Jones wondered what the Twins plan for SS even is.

Elsewhere in Twins Territory:

• Apparently the plan is Trevor Story I guess! Maybe even today!
• Hopefully Willians Astudillo was an El Tortuga Marina, because he’s now a fish.

• The Twins also apparently have interest in Johnny Cueto, a pitcher who apparently still exists! No idea if they still have interest after getting Grey, but hey! Maybe!
• Twins Daily took a look at the Twins spring training invitees, including top prospect Austin Martin. Also invited was “Curtis Terry” which is a sinister name, and probably a body snatcher from the outer planets. Do not trust Curtis Terry.
• Tony Oliva toured Cooperstown and continues to be adorable AF, per Manuel Gómez of OurEsquina.

Around the World in Bases and Balls:

• Fangraph’s Justin Choi took a look at what effect the probable future ban of the nefarious “The Shift” will and will not accomplish. Will Max Kepler suddenly hit .400?

Today’s soundtrack is Sonic the Werewolf! Werehog! Hedgewolf?