You can read the headline. Updates on our favorite Lord Byron if/as they become available.
(Postgame: Baldelli says Buxton will be getting an MRI, and was "walking under his own power," so that's the most I know.)
1: Leadoff superstar Buxton smacks a 3-2 slider to left, slides into second, and promptly has to leave the game because We Can’t Have Nice Things. imakesandwichesforaliving types a long curse word. I yelled something quite similar out loud. Pinch-runner Nick Gordon scores, but this is already an annoying game.
At least Joe Ryan’s off to a good start. Twins 1-0
2: Trevor Larnach, called up to replace a previously injured outfielder, gets his first walk of the season, and Miguel Sano gets his first hit, which goes Over The Monster (should be a blogsite name). Luis Arraez knocks in Gordon, again, and the Twins are more aheading.
Joe Ryan throws a fastball right over the middle and Alex Verdugo reduces the Twins’ aheading. Team you like more 4-1
3: Sox starter Nick Pivetta is yanked after throwing all of 54 pitches, and giving way more favorable calls to Shaq than Divac. Next reliever Phillips Valdez hits Max Kepler, the last Twins outfielder left alive, but Kepler steals a base, so he’s not broken (yet). Doesn’t score, though.
Ryan apparently looks wrong at plate umpire Jerry Layne, who barks at him a little. Gets through the inning on 11 pitches, bringing his total to 34, which is Good.
4: Ha-ha, Miguel Sano steals a base! Less ha-ha, radio says Buxton has a sore knee, “still being evaluated.”
Ryan gets into a little jam, but this time Verdugo is nicer to him with a GIDP.
5: Carlos Correa walks, and Jorge Polanco ground-rule doubles him to third. Kepler with his .158 average strikes out on nine pitches, which feels like it could be the Moment That Dooms The Twins — until Gary Sanchez dribbles a grounder through the infield, yay! (Now on pace for over 162 RBI).
With one out and one on, speedy Sox outfielder Jackie Bradley, Jr. beats the shift on a bunt to third, making sabermetrics-haters everywhere rejoice. Ryan gets a flyout and popout to remain someone we like, so far, today. Wild Rice Soup 6, Clam Chowder 1
6: Your Gladdenism of the day, after Provus notes that the Twins haven’t gone down 1-2-3 yet; “there’s been traffic on the basepaths every inning.” Yes, Danny, that’s what Provus just said. Arraez walks and is caught attempting a steal, making sabermetrics-lovers everywhere rejoice.
Ryan sets down the BoSox 1-2-3, relying heavily on fastballs and sliders. It’s the longest start of the year for a Twins pitcher, so far.
7: Better Gladdenism — noting that Boston was the last team in MLB to integrate, in 1959. A mere 12 years after Robinson’s rookie season. No traffic this half-inning, unless you count pretty much every road in Boston, so I hear.
Ryan leaves after 82 pitches, replaced by Jhoan Duran. He stops the Sox hitters like James Bond stopping Christopher Walken.
8: Boston whomps on Duran this inning like Mads Mikkelsen on Bond in that, um, one scene. Two doubles and a Rafael Devers homer, which Kyle Garlick maybe could have caught. (One of the doubles maybe could have been fielded by Arraez, too.) Twins a precarious 6-4
9: Walks from Correa and Polanco (Minnesota’s 7th and 8th of the game) are followed by a Kepler RBI, followed by Sanchez getting plunked in the foot. Larnach knocks Correa in on a slow grounder, and now it’s Bullpen Adventure Time!
Rocco’s chosen reliever is recent acquisition Emilio Enrique Pagán, causing gamethread commenter Skolfin to ask, “If he gets the closer role, can we call him coming into the game the “Pagan Ritual”? (This would be genuinely cool if Target Field played some appropriately creepy chanting music to match.)
His Dark Materials sends down the Sox without any drama whatsoever, and Twins win 8-4!
Studs of the game: Ryan, Sano for breaking out of a mini-slump, Sanchez for designatedly hitting.
Duds of the game: when injuries make us sad.