Going for their 7th win in a row, the Twins prayers to the baseball gods continued to be answered. “lol Tigers” replied the gods. “lmfao.”
Thus Minnesota struck early with some classic small-ball, when my new favorite Twin Gio Urshela lead off the 2nd with a single, Kyle Garlick walked, and then after a pair of outs, Trevor Larnach and Gilberto Celestino went back to back (with singles.) to drive in a pair of runs.
Twins starter, and presumed Ostrich wearing a trench coat, Bailey Ober managed to pitch 3 scoreless innings despite not having his best stuff, but he flew to close to the sun (despite being flightless) or I guess the sun flew too close to his groin, because he seemed to strain it while giving up a balk, and then allowing the only Tigers run on a single by Derek Hill. Ober is listed day-to-day, while Derek Hill presumably does not have to return to the hill for Dereks.
Flash forward to the 5th inning where shit got wild. Larnach lead off with a single, and then Celestino and Jorge Polanco pulled the classic “back to back sacrifice bunts, but we also reach on an error.” gambit. Sabremetrics may tell us to never bunt, but clearly those supposed brain geniuses never considered the existence of Harold Castro at third base????
Then our large son Carlos Correa finally took off his ankle weights and unleashed his full power, clearing the loaded bases, but only being awarded 2 RBIs thanks to an error by the other Castro, Willi Castro in left. Boy I haven’t seen this many misplays by a Castro since the 1983 invasion of Grenada!
insert canned laughter to hide the fact that the joke wasn’t funny.
Urshela then drove Correa in, and Correa himself would add another RBI to his total in the 6th. Meanwhile Cody Stashak, Tyler Duffey, and Griffon Jax would cruise through to the 9th, where the Tigers decided to put up a bit of a fight, loading the bases with two outs but ultimately failing to score. Notably, Jax got the extremely rare 7 to 1 3-inning save.
“Paddack is an Emu (shaggy)
Joe Ryan is a Cassowary (beautiful)
Sonny Gray is an Emperor Penguin (cool, famous, most well-known)
Chris Archer is a great spotted kiwi (once prominent, then on the verge of extinction, but with proper management is beginning to recover)
Dylan Bundy is an Elephant Bird (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_bird) (big, majestic)”
See you next time, Twinkles.