clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Astros 5, Twins 0: Killing Two Twins with 1 Astros

The Twins double lost today :(

Houston Astros v Minnesota Twins - Game Two
hnnnnng
Photo by David Berding/Getty Images

The Twims did not wim, the win was not the Twins’.
Shall we look into the sky, and read what’s in the stars?
Astrologically speaking, the Astros catapulted the Twins straight to Mars.
(There is no baseball on Mars so that’s a bad place to be.)

The team had lost just before, so Josh Winder came to the fore,
Though in innings, he got through just one before giving up a run,
When Chas Mcormick singled in Kyle Tucker. What a ************.
In the 3rd things continued to go wrong, for Yordan Alvarez hit a two run dong.
Next Caleb Thielbar tried to get us out of a jam. I can’t think of anything to rhyme with jam. But poetry doesn’t have to rhyme when its for a recap of a game that didn’t start on time.

Anyway, Jordan Pena got a hit, the Twins bats continued to be shit,
It was now four to zero, the Twins were in dire need of a hero.
Yet the words appearing upon my Gameday app continued to be sad,
I honestly stopped paying attention early and played Final Fantasy XIV (at which I am bad.)

Forsooth! It is now the 8th, I have completely lost all faith,
(It was at this moment my basement started flooding, anyway the astros scored one more and the Twins lost. Aaaah!!!)

STUDS: NONE

DUDS: ALL!