Tigers 5, Twins 0: Feels like 2020 all over again

I have it on good authority from places like facebook (where all of us olds get our trending news these days) that the Detroit Tigers are a trash team this year, who are mostly incapable of scoring runs or otherwise doing the thing we refer to as “goodbaseballing.” If that is the case, apparently the two teams switched uniforms tonight.

Bailey Ober gave up all five earned runs tonight. Old Friend Jonathan Schoop (pronounced like the mouthwash, in case you forgot) did a good chunk of the damage — singling in the first one of the game in the first inning, and participating in Detroit’s four-run fifth inning. Ober lasted through six innings, and Matt Megill pitched the last two.

On the Tiger side of things, Tarik Skubal held the Twins scoreless, as did his successors on the mound. The entire offense produced a hit each from Jorge Polanco and Gio Urshela, as well as a walk from the latter. Jose Miranda wore a sombrero, and Ryan Jeffers added two more K’s to the tally. But hell, the offensive highlight of the night might just be the fact that Kyle Garlick didn’t strike out, and neither did Jermaine Palacios. Its the little things, folks!

Fun Fact: The Twins hit .069/.100/.069 tonight with a 31% strikeout rate, which means Miguel Sano being in the lineup would have provided a noteable improvement.

An ugly loss to Detroit featuring Matt Megill and Kyle Garlick? Guys out with COVID? TJ writing the recap? What year is it, and are we sure it’s not 2020?

Studs:

• Danny Gladden, last man standing

• Literally no one else. Lets forget this one

Duds

• Baseball.
• Oh, you want player names: Garlick (0-4,) Gary Sanchez (0-4,) Trevor Larnach (0-3,) Miranda (0-3,) Jeffers (0-3,) Palacios (0-3,) Nick Gordon (0-3.)

COTG

Mrmumph, opining on the 2:13 game clock:

If the Twins were anything, then they were courteous of my time.