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Guardians 7, Twins 6:

If you don’t have anything nice to title, title nothing at all

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Cleveland Guardians David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

Dylan Bundy did enough today to earn a win. The big righty may be less than trustworthy on the mound, but 5.0 innings with 3 runs given up (2 earned) is as much as this team can ask for from the embattled starter.

The bullpen did enough today to earn a win. The Twins rolled with all three of their current trustworthy relievers, with Caleb Thielbar, Griffin Jax, and Jhoan Duran combining to hurl 4.0 scoreless innings- allowing only 2 hits and no walks.

The offense did enough today to earn a win. Unfortunately, they did not do enough to win during the first 9.0 innings. In an early 3-0 hole, back-to-back home runs by Alex Kirilloff and our hero Gio Urshela brought 3 runs in to tie it up in the 6th inning. Even with a ninth inning pinch hit appearance by Byron Buxton, they could not push another run across until the 10th inning, when Manfredrunner Buxton was knocked in by a pinch-hitting Carlos Correa. This gave the Twins the lead, and with two outs and two strikes, Maximum Kepler maximum kep’d and sent a 2-run bomba into the right field bleachers. However, waiting until the 10th cost them dearly.

Now taking a 3-run lead into the bottom of the 10th, the Twins found themselves in the uncomfortable position of having used up all their quality relievers. Rocco bravely went where he has gone time and time again, and handed the ball to Emilio Pagan, the spiritual successor to Alex Colome. With a Manfredrunner on second base, Pagan got ahead of pinch-hitter Owen Miller, who tapped it to shortstop. Correa, having entered the game as a pinch-hitter, made a great play charging in to hold the runner at second and get the out at first. Naturally, the next pitch went to the backstop, allowing the runner to advance to third. Pagan proceeded to walk leadoff hitter Steven Kwan in a tough battle, bringing Amed Rosario, 3-3 with a walk today, to the plate as the tying run. He ripped a double down the left field line. As everyone Twins fan muttered a string of expletives, star third baseman Jose Ramirez stepped to the plate with the tying run on second.

Twice-DFA’ed (this year) Jharel Cotton was sent in to put out the fire. 1 out, runners on second and third, one of the best hitters in the league at the plate... it went as well as you could expect it to. Jose Ramirez flew out to centerfield on a ball that Byron Buxton got a supernatural jump on. Ryan Jeffers had an absolutely brutal passed ball that hit him right in the glove, and a run scored on it. After a mound visit where I assume Jeffers was profusely apologizing to Cotton, Josh Naylor sent a two-strike fastball out to the opposite field.

Emilio Pagan is solely responsible for three losses to Cleveland in the last 8 days. That’s 3.0 games in a division race. The Twins will have to fight for a series win tomorrow without Jhoan Duran, who pitched two innings tonight. I don’t want Pagan DFA’ed- I want him to get sent to a Latin American baseball league where La Tortuga can sucker punch him with limited consequences.


Alex Kirilloff: 3-4, 2-run home run

Gio Urshela: 2-4, home run

Carlos Correa: 1-1, RBI, R

Max Kepler: 2-5, 2-run home run

The only relievers we have that should be in the major leagues: 4.0 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 0 BB, 3 K


You know who.

Luis Arraez & Jorge Polanco: 0-10 combined

Me: Twins have lost 11-10 and 7-6 in my last two recaps


James Fillmore, who has never won $50 in scratch tickets:

“Hells no. I always hoped I’d be under that mini-blimp which dropped scratch tickets on Metrodome fans, but it was not to be.”