Help us Kansas City Royals—you’re our only hope!

For the entirety of the 2000s, the Minnesota Twins dominated the Kansas City Royals (110-70). Kauffman contests felt like quasi-Dome games and it seemed liked whenever the Twins needed a boost, royal blue uniforms were right around the corner eager to comply.

In the 2010s, the tables turned a bit (91-96 record against KCR), but most Twins fans cheered them on in their World Series pursuit—2014—and then conquest—2015. We’re generally good folks in these parts and wanted a similar small-market club to taste success.

This year, the Twins suddenly reverted back to KC domination (12-4), an occurrence that has kept this club marginally in the AL Central race. As the final few weeks of the season play out, the Royals—more than any other club besides our own—may have the greatest impact on Minnesota’s minuscule playoff chances.

Photo by Nick Tre. Smith/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

First, the Twins travel to the humidity capital of the Midwest for three games this week. A sweep—like last week at Target Field—is a pre-requisite for any improbable division title push. Echoing the sentiments of Bowers from Little Big League...

“I know you are a decent human being...but die like a dog!”

Then, in an odd scheduling setup necessitated by the lockout’s last-minute resolution back in April, Kansas City finishes their regular season with six straight games against the Guardians in Cleveland. If the Twins are not mathematically eliminated before that point, I’ll be breaking out my best “Let’s Go Roy-als! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)” chant.

Is it fair to ask the Baseball Gods for the Royals to lose to the Twins, then turn right around to help them out by beating the Guardians? No. But these are the same Baseball Gods that have prevented our franchise from winning a playoff series for two decades and allow 15 inning kick-to-the-groin losses in the back end of a doubleheader. So I’ll allow it.

Bottom line: if the Twins are to pull any late-season 2006/2008/2009 Gardy-era magic in the waning moments of ‘22, the Royals will certainly play a large role in that quest.