In a game, I’m told, happened, the Twins did very Twinsian things up to and including losing a baseball game at Target Field. While I slept peacefully ignoring the game and dreaming about pizza, roughly 4 or 5 poor souls at Target Field watched the 2nd and 3rd place teams in the worst division in Baseball ineffectually slap each other across the face.
The Twins, as they are won’t to do, got off to an early lead in the 1st when Nick Gordon doubled in 2 runs. Since I didn’t watch this pointless game I literally can not care about, I’m going to assume this was achieved by Gordon breaking the fourth wall (of reality?) and grabbing the “d” in his name, swooping it upside down, and drawing a little dash on the end to turn himself into Nick Gorgon, then proceeding to look the White Sox defense in the eyes, turning them all to stone.
Waiting for their Greek Mythology scholars to return with the news that you can stop Nick Gorgon with a pocket mirror, the White Sox had to wait until the 3rd to tie the game back up at 2-2.
The teams both scored 1 more in the 6th, but I think its more interesting if I don’t tell you how. An air of mystery adds more allure. Generates more clicks so maybe Vox won’t delete this website.
Keen observers in the 8th may have noticed where the Twins went wrong in the 8th. Did you catch it? If you said “Nick Gordon made an error and then Caleb Thielbar immediately made a while pitch thus giving Chicago a free runner on 3rd to start the inning.” you would be wrong. The real error was MINNESOTA SPORTS.
Anyway that runner scored, Twims do not wims.
LUIS ARRAEZ WATCH:
Our boi went 2 for 4 and is now batting .315!
STUDS: Arraez probably
DUDS: You, the viewer.