Yankees 5, Twins 4: You’re not gonna believe this, but the Twins lost a crazy game to the Yankees

I thought I was starting this game recap late, so I started writing a game notes-style recap, but then the game just never ended, so I really had time to write a more narrative-style recap, but it’s too late now, so here’s what you get. Please direct all complaints to Joel Hernandez.

Game Notes:

• Jose Miranda was apparently inspired by his dinner last night with cousin Lin-Manuel, setting the Twins ahead with a two-run dinger in the first inning.
• The Twins scored their third run on consecutive two-out hits by Jake Cave, Gary Sanchez, and Gilberto Celestino. For those indulging in The Twins/Yankees Drinking Game, this spelled disaster as tens of drinkers Twins fans slipped into a deep sleep prior to the 6th inning.
• Louie Varland had a fantastic debut, striking out 7 in 5.1 innings. His first career punchout was none other than Aaron Judge.
• Aaron Judge tagged Varland back, however, for his first career home run allowed- Judge’s 55th of the season.
• It took 12 innings for the Twins to lose in spite of them Twins-ing all over themselves and committing 4 errors (all in the 8th inning or later).
• Tommy Watkins committed a fireable offense that ended up costing the Twins the game. Those Twins fans who were not playing TT/YDG joined in on the revelry at this point.
• The said fireable offense was getting Manfredrunner Gilberto Celestino thrown out at home by a mile with 0 outs and the 2-3-4 hitters coming up in the 10th inning.
• Jhoan Duran truly is “that guy”.
• The Twins wisely chose to intentionally walk Aaron Judge in the 8th and 11th innings. Unfortunately, it backfired when Michael Fulmer unintentionally walked the next batter to load the bases with 0 outs.
• Unintentionally walking the next batter proved very unfortunate for Mr. Fulmer, as he proceeded to unintentionally walk Ronald Guzman, who was 0-4 and does not have a hit on the season, to hand the Yankees a walk-off win.
• Just kidding! Ronald Guzman, that beautiful boy, grounded into a 3-2-3 double play that the Twins somehow miraculously executed properly, and then Marwin Gonzalez grounded out and the Twins escaped the inning.
• The bottom of the 11th inning was a very “Twins” move by the Yankees, if I do say so myself.
• Gilberto Celestino came up big in the 12th by knocking in Manfredrunner Jermaine Palacios and putting the Twins ahead 4-3.
• Carlos Correa came up with the bases loaded later in the 12th. A real text I got from a friend was “Correa needs to exorcise the demons. This is how the curse ends.” Shockingly, he hit into an infield fly rule out, and the Twins ended up leaving ‘em loaded (just like the Yankees in the 11th, as well as all TT/YDG participants by this point).
• On the third pitch of the bottom of the 12th, Trevor Megill gave up an RBI single. It was fun when we thought we might win for those 5 minutes between 5:55 and 6:00 PM.
• The Yankees proceeded to walk-off in the 12th, obviously.
• Can’t wait for Game 2! The Twins bullpen is completely spent! I love playing the Yankees!

STUDS

Louie Varland: 5.1 IP, 3 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 7 K

Jhoan Duran: 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 BB, 2 K

Caleb Thielbar: 1.0 IP, 0 H, 0 BB, 2 K

Jose Miranda: 2-5, 2 RBI, 1 R, 1 BB, 1 HR

DUDS

The 6-spot (Garlick, Kepler, Palacios): 0-5, 4 K

Trevor Megill: 0.2 IP, 2 R, 1 K, L

COTG