Twins 4, Yankees 3: THE WINS WIN A SINGLE GAME IN YANKEE STADIUM!!!!!

Nice Try, Yankees, but the Twins only lose 99 out of every 100 games at Yankee Stadium! Forgot that little tid-bit didn’t you, New York? FOOLS. ABSOLUTE FOOLS.

The 2nd started in typical Twins/Yankees style, when Twins legend and current Yankee (TRAITOR) Isiah Kiner-Falefa singled off Sonny (short for Sonald.) Gray and then advanced to 2nd door to Twins infielder oopsie-whoops.™ After fellow old-friend Marwin Gonzalez moved IKF over to 3rd with a groundout, Miguel Andujar took Gray deep to give the Yankerinos an early 2 run lead. This wasn’t very surprising as Andujar has hit, let me check my notes here, 0 home runs before.

The Twins got their first baserunner in the 5th, when Gio Gonzalez lead off with a single. Fellow villain-turned-hero Gary Sanchez then doubled him in, presumably forgetting that he and Gio are Twins now and aren’t supposed to do good things at Yankee Stadium. Gilberto Celestino pulled off an Arraez-tier walk, and then an out later Nick Gordon singled the game tied.

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT: You are a playoff contending team fighting for your life, looking to capitalize on a strong inning against quite possibly the best team in Baseball. Do you,

A: Let Billy Hamilton, starting LF, hit.

B: Bring in actual real MLB player still Jake Cave.

C: Have a better roster.

The answer apparently is B, and Cave would immediately line into a double play to end the inning.

Don’t worry, however, Cave would redeem himself in the 8th by reaching on an error and then simply existing while Carlos goshdarned Correa hit a two run dingerdongerdigerdinkerdandydoo to put the Twins ahead.

Jorge Lopez would get the bottom of the 8th, starting with Aaron Judge. That went about how you would expect and Judge was then on second. After a walk, a couple of outs, a wild pitch letting Judge score, and whatever this was

Caleb Thielbar came in to face pinch hitter Giancarlo Stanton. Somehow this worked, and Stanton struck out to end the inning. The Twins tried to score in the 9th, but pinch-runner Caleb Hamilton (literally who? How many Hamiltons do we need?) was picked off like a dork.

After getting on out, and giving up a single in the bottom of the 9th, Thielbar was swapped for Michael Fulmer, who immediately loaded the bases, as you do. Somehow, against the very will of the universe, against all logic and reasoning, Fulmer, the abolute mad lad, went ahead and got the next two hitters out and the Twins won a game in New York.

Wow.

STUDS: Thielbar/Fulmer: Didn’t blow it
Correa: 2 RUN DONG BAY-BEEEEE
Gio/Gary: Playing for the good guys.

DUDS: Both of the Hamiltons for being low-hanging fruit in a team with Miranda.

GO TWONKS GO

Comment of the Day goes to James Fillmore for this fun fact:

“Radio fact: the last Twins pitcher to get a save in Yankee Stadium was Glen Perkins, in 2013. And Hicks was in CF.”