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Quick fun links I would have used in a Game 5 intro

I wanted to share these, and so I am!

It’s a chain-link fence, you see. St. Paul does not want crap on the baseball field. So, no Twins in the ALDS since 2003 dogs there.

Well, these are the fun links I would have included in today’s game preview, had there been a today’s game. But just because there isn’t one “shouldn’t stop you from enjoying them,” as is said in a delightful ongoing TV comedy segment, so here we go:

Although this would have been an away game, the Twins had been hosting free “watch parties” at Target Field. Do you know how long it takes to clean up Target Field in-between games?

Probably, whatever you guessed, you guessed low. This interesting article describes the process, which can take more than 200 workers.

Incidentally, the company doing it is Marsden Building Maintenance, which has done lots of Twins ads on radio this season. Are they a good employer? I hope so. Is that something I feel like looking at right now, and possibly finding out that they are, in fact, very evil? Not today. But I will keep an eye out for it.

Here’s a quick profile of Terrie Robbins, who invented Homer Hankies, while director of marketing for the Star Tribune. (Her inspirations were unusual.) I blame the Twins’ failure this year on their not using powder blue Homer Hankies, but that’s not Robbins’s fault. (It’s Joe Pohlad’s, maybe, he’s the uniform color revamp guy.)

And this video about a Twins “vibe shrine” is positively MAGNIFICENT. I won’t describe it. You either watch all five minutes of this glorious insanity, or you will have missed it forever:

The best is the desk anchor. Who somewhat looks like she has had just about f***ing enough of this “roving reporter” and his Quirky Minnesota pieces, and wants to redo several professional life choices, but she can’t, quite yet. (I’ve been there, most people have, and if you haven’t then screw off I will never like you.)

The thing is, this is actually a GREAT Quirky Minnesota piece! And if they were all like this, I’d enjoy such things. But you know most of them aren’t, and this woman has had to sit through ones which would insult the intelligence of gerbils, and go, “how... nice.”

Finally, transitioning off that, here’s a non-baseball, nice Minnesota thing which actually sounds, possibly damn interesting?

St. Paul will be hosting it’s first-ever Snow Summit Open House tomorrow. It will feature displays of snowplow equipment and such, and explanations of how to not get tickets (and information on how to apply for jobs giving tickets, a thing I’d LOVE to do if my arm wasn’t broken).

Oh, you know I’m going.

I am a poor man who believes in “never stop taking your spouse on dates,” and this date’s right up my alley. It’s free. Do you think we went to the municipal water systems open house this summer? You bet we did, it was free! Did we learn about water pipes! Yep! Did we like it? Yes! (It does help, in such things, if you marry a fellow Complete Nerd.)

Alas, the view from atop the local historic water tower wasn’t all I’d hoped for, given that haze from distant wildfires (becoming more frequent, for truly mysterious reasons) severely affected visibility:

Actual distance to Target Field? 6.98 miles.

But still, good date. And maybe this snow-system information one will be good, too. (Or just boring advice like “drive safe and don’t fall down”: these ones, I know, and am good at one of them.)

We wanted to attend an away-game Twins watch party at Target Field, but not this year. Besides, it’s gonna be all rainy today, anyhoo.