Monday Morning Minnesota: Further Spring Jokes Edition

Previously on Twinkie Town:

• The Twins won exactly half of their split squad spring training opener games. I split my squad too back in 2015. Was in the hospital for a few days.
• Brandon Brounds up the Brivals v. 37. One day I will think of something actually entertaining or interesting to say about these again. (They good, read ‘em.)
• Zach looks at one of the things the pandemic took from us. No it isn’t thousand of lives or the illusion that capitalism can deal with a crisis or even the idea that humanity will survive another 100 years, its funny hat cracker jack guy at baseball games. Fuck.
• Why do the Twins keep signing people they don’t theoretically need? Well, Ben (boss version) seems to know so I guess go ask him about the latest one. When I pasted this link in, I saw the permalink part that says “kirilloff-trevor-larnach” and thought it was about killing off Trevor Larnach and thought that was funny, but then I realized it actually kinda is.

Elsewhere in Twins Territory:

• What’s the worst rule change in the history of the entire world? Its the extra innings runner nonsense. And I saw this specifically because I PERCEIVE it to hurt the Twins and only the Twins and I only care about my own happiness. Twins Daily looks to see if my perception is indeed reality.
• Soon we may have a new Ed at Target Field in Edouard Julien. Do-Hyoung Park talked with the aspiring Ed himself.
• The Twins have some players who look to benefit from the ban on the Shift.
• Speaking of Joey Gallo, He’s feeling the flyover country vibes of Minnesota and finding it more to his speed than New York. No longer is he walkin’ here, eyyy, forgetta bout it, pizza pie, super mario bros the movie or whatever. I’ve never been to New York.
• Star Tribune talks about pitching depth with LaTroy Hawkins world record holder (in my mind, maybe not reality) of most bullpens having been inside.

Today’s soundtrack is Gundam.