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Twins 7, Royals 1: We should play the Royals every day!

MLB: Kansas City Royals at Minnesota Twins Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

When you play a team that’s only not the worst because their is an honest to god Major League but in real life Oakland A’s runnin’ around, you gotta beat up on them.

The Twins did that in game 1.

Tyler Mahle started off about as well as one could expect with a 1-2-3 first. Then, facing off against Zack (Zach? I dunno I’m not looking it up) Greinke, the Twinkies started scoring early using the Correa Walk, Polanco Single, Larnach Single method or “CWPSLS.”

In the second, Joey Gallo doubled, Christian Vazquez walked, Max Kepler singled in Gallo, and then Vazquez scored when Michael A Taylor presented the fielder’s with a choice.

The 4th inning was not a great inning for Mahle, who allowed Vinnie Pasquatarinodino homerun. Oh and then he got hurt I guess? I was watching on Gameday because MLB hates fans, so I’m not sure exactly what happened but he’s a “wait for more information” with some elbow pain. Uh oh.

The offense then sent positive vibes to Mahle in the form of Byron Buxton’s massive 3-run dong. Correa then followed it up immediately with his own dongorama that could only score one run, but I assure you should have been worth three anyway.

The Twins then got 5 scoreless innings from the bullpen thanks to Brock Steward, a real guy that I totally knew was on the roster, and the music stylings of 80’s new wave outfit Moran Duran.

Keep punching the Royals in the face pls

STUDS: Buxton, Bullpen, BVazquez