Twins 7, Giants 1: Err club for men

Was it that today’s was the final game in a three-game set?

Was it that it came in the early afternoon rather than the evening?

Was it the obnoxious trend of cash grabs over innovation and creativity exemplified by the sweep of Disney live-action remakes?

The third, most likely, but whatever the reason, both the Twins and Giants kept trying to give each other the game all day.

Minnesota did not record a 1-2-3 inning, instead constantly allowing San Franciscan lumber-wielders to reach base via a combined 16 hits, walks, and fiends taking advantage of errors. But aside from a double-single combo to open the second, Twins pitchers kept finagling their way out of situations, including a jointly-induced NOBLETIGER courtesy of Brock Stewart and Jovani Moran. The visitors ended the game having left 15 men on base, going 2 for 16 in RISPy situations.

In contrast, when the Giants gave the Twins runs, they took those runs.

While the first three Minnesota runs came via traditional means (Edouard Julien homer, Matt Wallner double, Julien sac fly), the third inning should have participated in Jelle’s Marble Runs because there were a lot of Balls of Chaos. After two third-inning strikeouts, Brandon Crawford misplayed a Kyle Farmer grounder to put a man on first, Willi Castro got plunked to move Farmer to second, and Matt Wallner’s grounder went under Brett Wisely’s glove to bring Farmer in. (It’s not “fiends” when we do it.) Wallner and Castro executed a double steal, Castro swiping the plate and Wallner moving to third on an errant Wisely throw, before Jeffers lined out to close the frame.

A wild pitch (fourth inning) and Jeffers home run (sixth inning, 109.9 MPH off the bat) added more non-error-aided runs to the Twins’ tally, while the bullpen kept the Giants off the scoreboard, jointly recording the last nine San Fran outs via K.

As a bonus, Jhoan Duran closed the game with the fourth of four pitches that touched 104 on the radar gun... and those weren’t even his fastest, as he threw one at 105.

Let’s leave it on that number.

STUDS

bullpen (RPs Brock Stewart, Jovani Moran, José De León, Jhoan Duran): combined 4 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 10 K

LF Willi Castro: 2-3, 2 SB (one of third, one of home)

2B Edouard Julien / C Ryan Jeffers: dinger = stud

SP Joe Ryan: 5 IP, 6 H, 1 R (earned), 2 BB, 4 K, 107 pitches

DUDS

nah

(but probably CF Michael A. Taylor with an 0-4 Golden Sombrero)

(and also Booking.com for annoying MLBTV commercials)

(and Disney for the live-action remakes)

like I said, nah

Comment of the Game goes to norff for appropriate hoarding of Capri Sun.