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Game 56: Twins at Astros

Whoosh goes the calendar.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Houston Astros
Sugar and spice and everything Royce.
Erik Williams-USA TODAY Sports

Game Time: 7:10 PM
TV: Bally Sports North (for now)
Radio: TIBN, WCCO 830, The Wolf 102.9 FM, Audacy
Know Thine Enemy: The Crawfish Boxes

(If this month has made me any more of a Twins student or Lerner, it’s by asking the question “how Loewe can they go?”)

So blah, it’s May, the rusty month of May,
That ugly month when all of our hopes start to blow away.
We saw with fear that wretched time of year
When tons of whiffs and errors cost Minnesota dear.
Dismay in May, a tortuous decay,
When every fandom hopes that their squad won’t become flawed;
It’s bad, it’s gray, a powerless display,
Those dreary losses everyone sees everyone flees —
Everyone please do not reprise
The rusty month of May!

What’s this feeling drifting through the air?
What’s this vision that our eyes foresee?
What is brought along with grim despair?
Don’t you know that it’s mediocrity.
(Blah-ah-ah-ah-ah, it’s mediocrity. Blah-ah-ah...)

Still blah, it’s May, the rusty month of May,
That awful month when no one at bat seems to be okay.
The time to blow another game or so;
The slender leads our bullpen drops leave us full of woe.
Astray in May, the pastime they purvey
Is full of losing, swing-and-a-miss, wallow in piss;
Reviled by May, no visage glad or fey,
No joy in seeing everyone lose, showered with boos—
No one had better dare excuse
The rusty month of May!

Withdraw from May, the rusty month of May;
Another month is soon to arrive come the dawn of day.
Hurrah for June, which brings a jaunty tune,
We madly in our tension hope wins are coming soon.
We say to May a curse and walk away
And cross our fingers, hoping the Twins’ fortune begins;
The bad in play must not proceed to weigh.
Put down this month that everyone hates, everyone grates,
Everyone states that no one fêtes
The rusty month of May!