Game 109: Twins at Cardinals

First Pitch: 6:45 PM
TV: Bally Sports North
Radio: TIBN, WCCO 830, The Wolf 102.9 FM, Audacy
Know Thine Enemy: Viva El Birdos

(Today you get a parody of a bad song in recognition of a bad trade deadline.)

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I don’t wanna make any trades
Could add a power righty bat
But on my ass I’ve calmly sat
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

I’m gonna watch as those teams make move after move;
Nothing’s really wrong, what have I got to prove?
Nobody can tell me our plan.
We’ve a glut of left bats and offense unappealing,
Cutting someone loose would just be sure to hurt his feeling.
And doing nothing’s all I really can.

(Oh yes I said it, I said it,
I said just what I can.)

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I don’t wanna make any trades
Could add a trusted bullpen arm
But that would just admit alarm
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything,
Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.

The deadline coming up was our chance to acquire
Someone really quite good who could really inspire
The team to come on out playing great
(Omigod, it’s too late)
We might mess around around and win a game, two or three,
But whether that’s true we’ll all just have to see,
A playoff win may just have to wait.

(Oh yes I said it, I said it,
I said just what I can.)

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I don’t wanna make any trades
Could make the Twins a better team
But fans will simply have to dream
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

No, I ain’t gonna make a trade
We’ve got the guys that we have played,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I’ll just sit sipping merlot wine
And proclaim that this is fine,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I don’t wanna make any trades
Could try to win more baseball games,
Instead we might go down in flames
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything,
Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.