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Twins 10, White Sox 2: Boring Royce Lewis hits another lousy grand slam

Someone call me when he does something impressive, like steal the pitcher’s glove during a game.

Minnesota Twins v Chicago White Sox
Lewis, signalling to the clubhouse attendants that his glove needs ironing.
Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

You read the headline. Royce Lewis did it again. Remember when the Twins were struggling with the bases loaded?

An old “GameDay” program I have from 2006 wrote about Francisco Liriano: “please, God, let this kid stay healthy.” The baseball gods are notorious for ignoring fan prayers, and I’m offering mine anyways.

Bailey Ober’s return to the MLB roster didn’t dazzle, yet was good enough to avoid any real stress. Inning-by-inning notes:

1: Jesse Scholtens is one of the increasingly common pitchers with “reverse splits”... AKA, he’s much better against righties than lefties (despite being a righty himself). He hasn’t given up a homer to a lefty yet in his MLB career, in 152 PA. It doesn’t happen here, either. Ober’s another pitcher in this mold, if not as extremely so.

2: Possible TOOTBLAN? With nobody out and a runner on first, Willi Castro goes home on a grounder. He’s out by 100 miles on a 5-2, but this does avoid the GIDP. Edouard Julien takes the two-out walk to load ‘em, WHICH BRINGS UP LEWIS

YEAH YEAH YEAHS (also a good band). That’s four salamis in the last 18 games. Good grief!

By the way, this is the fastest any MLB player has ever reached five career grand slams. And breaks the team record for most in a season. Twins 4-0

3: Carlos Correa reaches on a Tim Anderson error, and scores on a pop-up by Matt Wallner that falls in. The crowd is unamused. But Twins fans are, because Tim Anderson’s a big loudmouth doodie! Twins 5-0

4: Radio lists the all-time Twin leaderboard for grand slams and I was unable to grab a pen. #1 is Killebrew with 10. Hunter’s on the list somewhere, too. My internet skills do not permit me to find this list. So you get my own personal ButCoin if you can find it. (ButCoins are virtual Buteras.)

Also, with two outs and Lewis up: walk, hit, hit, Scholtens up to 94 pitches, Twins 6-0

5: Hey, the good news: Ober gives up his first homer since August 27. (Lewis’s first grand slam of the year, BTW.) The bad news? It’s Ober’s first MLB game since that day. He’s now allowed a home run in nine straight games. But he’s undefeated when the Twins salami one! (And was perfectly good up until this inning.) Twins 6-2

6: It’s Louie Varland for the Twins now, with his much-faster fastball. He’s said it’s because he can throw harder in a relief role than he could as a starter. He also likes to thank Michael Pineda and Ervin Santana for teaching him “a delivery adjustment.”

7: Atteberry tells us the nice story that old friend Liam Hendriks, Chicago’s nominee for the Roberto Clemente Award, is not only in remission himself, but active in charity efforts to help assist families affected by cancer. Hendriks said in this article that he’s had support from multiple teams as a visiting player, and singled out the Dodgers for going “above and beyond.”

8: And now Atteberry and Gladden are sharing tales of massive overindulgence at Oktoberfest celebrations. Gladden in particular is impressed by the beer-glass-carrying capacity of German barmaids.

Pen Man is now Capt. Griffin Jax, USAF, whose inconsistencies of late have been well-documented. It’s a smoother flight this time after a moment’s turbulence.

9: Think the Sox have checked out? They have. Twims wim!

Cleveland stays 8.0 GB, while the Twins’ magic number is 7.

Studs: Alex Kirilloff (3 hits, this goofy catch), Varland (2 IP, 0 H, 4 K). Some rando rookie guy, too.

COTGs go to Minnesota1952 by reminding me who was up when I dreaded the bases-loaded “trap,” and John for “All the times I’ve written that clutch isn’t a skill, I neglected to include the obvious caveat: **for the human species**. The research findings don’t apply to whatever Royce Lewis is.” (Also jjam for suffering through Chicago broadcasting.)

Tomorrow’s game features your ace, Pablo López, against Touki Toussaint at 6:10.