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Twins 7, Rockies 6: Home Run Derby in Denver

Meaningless baseball? No such thing!

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Colorado Rockies Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

After our fearless—if often luckless—Twinkie Town leader has covered my Minnesota Vikings-loving butt for the entire month of September, I’m paying it forward tonight for noted Friday fiend James Fillmore (who may or may not be freebasing pain medication this very moment).

Some might call this “meaningless baseball”—what with the Twins having clinched all they can clinch and the Colorado Rockies in triple-digit losses—but us die-hards know better. Any baseball can be fun baseball and tonight’s clash was actually pretty entertaining!

The Twins jumped out to an early lead in this one as some small-ball plated Jordan Luplow on a Kyle Farmer single in the top of the first inning.

Minnesota Twins v Colorado Rockies
Run run Luplow!
Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

Shortly thereafter, Michael A. Taylor Tater did the opposite of small ball by (presumably) briefly being inhabited by the ghost of Matt Wallner and crushing a 468-foot homer in the top of the 2nd for a 3-0 Twins advantage.

Alas, Coors Field giveth and Coors Field taketh away. The Rockies home park is not a good match for noted homer-giver-upper Joe Ryan, and three innings + three dingers later Colorado owned a 6-4 lead.

Minnesota Twins v Colorado Rockies
Did this baseball ever come back? Who knows!
Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

Undeterred, Twins batsmen remembered “hey—two can play at this game” and dongs from Trevor Larnach and Ryan Jeffers knotted the score at 6-6 in the top of the 7th.

After—somewhat remarkably—an inning in which no balls were hit over fences, Jeffers singled to open the 9th and as soon as his foot touched 1B was lifted for bespectacled pinch runner Andrew Stevenson. A Farmer single off the body of Rockies infielder Elehuris Montero allowed Speedy Stevie (TM) to make third base and then a warning track fly from Max Kepler (should have had that extra bowl of Wheaties!) put the Twins up 7-6.

Minnesota Twins v Colorado Rockies
The game winning run!
Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

That would be your final, Twins Territory, as Emilio Pagan managed to keep the sphere safely within the playing confines and sew up the save.

Remarkably, the Twins are no closer to knowing their Wild Card Round opponent or start times for next week, as Seattle keeps hanging around and Houston isn’t exactly using the playoff front door at the moment. Hopefully, the fact that the Astros, Mariners, Rangers, & Blue Jays all have to empty their respective chambers just to make the playoffs—while our guys can coast in—will pay dividends at Target Field starting next Tuesday!


  • Justin Morneau & Trevor Plouffe for their witty banter alongside Dick Bremer in the BSN TV booth.
New York Yankees v Minnesota Twins
Their salad days
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images
  • Emilio Pagan for locking down the save. Nothing ground-breaking in terms of leverage, but considering we all wanted this guy either burned at the stake or ejected into orbit (ala Kevin Jepsen) his turnaround this season has been remarkable.


  • Joe Ryan’s continued gopher-ball tendencies. Fortunately, Minneapolis is closer to sea level.

Comment of the Game

  • James (hopefully now deeply ensconced in the arms of medicinal substances) dropping an Einstein reference—proof he saw Oppenheimer this past summer.