Twinkie Town: All Posts by James FillmoreAn online community of Twins fans mourning the death of Prince Rogers Nelson.https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/community_logos/52554/tt_fav.png2024-03-18T17:33:34-04:00https://www.twinkietown.com/authors/james-fillmore/rss2024-03-18T17:33:34-04:002024-03-18T17:33:34-04:00Duran, Thielbar, DeSclafani all injured; Buxton sore but OK
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<img alt="Dr. Frank Jobe Orthopedic Surgeon" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/gGczZHbfUMg0EabDYBXEgTLfzPo=/0x0:3000x2000/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73216475/1485839963.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>This man performed the first Tommy John surgery. If you see him, something is wrong with you. | Photo by Bob Riha, Jr./Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>The two relievers are expected to be out for a little while, and DeSclafani possibly much longer.</p> <p id="v4spBm">Per Steve Adams <a href="https://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2024/03/jhoan-duran-caleb-thielbar-anthony-desclafani-to-begin-season-on-injured-list.html">at MLB Trade Rumors</a>, Jhoan Duran has been diagnosed with a “moderate” oblique strain, and Caleb Thielbar with a strained hamstring. The Twins hope these injuries won’t last much longer than the first few weeks or the first month of the regular season.</p>
<p id="tm1x8j">Anthony DeSclafani, however, hasn’t pitched once in a Spring Training game, and <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/anthony-desclafani-elbow-injury-dr-keith-meister-tommy-john/">will be seeing</a> elbow surgeon Dr. Keith Meister to determine his options. As Matthew Trueblood <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/injury-updates-duran-desclafani-thielbar-oblique-forearm-hamstring/">at TwinsDaily</a> put it, “‘I think “<a href="https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/j/johnto01.shtml?utm_medium=linker&utm_source=twinsdaily.com&utm_campaign=2024-03-18_br">Tommy John</a>” is one of the autocomplete options when you start Googling “pitcher forearm strain.’”</p>
<p id="8fukeg">DeSclafani was part of <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/29/24055189/minnesota-twins-trade-jorge-polanco-seattle-mariners-anthony-desclafani-justin-topa-gabriel-gonzalez">the trade sending</a> Jorge Polanco to Seattle, and the Twins also picked up RHP reliever Justin Topa is that deal. He can be expected to fill part of the inning hole Duran and Thielbar leave open for now, along with lefty Steven Okert (who the Twins <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/11/24069551/twins-trade-nick-gordon-to-marlins-for-lefty-steven-okert">got by trading</a> Nick Gordon). <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2022/5/4/23054933/mlb-minnesota-twins-griffin-jax-relief-weapon-sweeping-sliders-curveballs-high-leverage">Griffin Jax</a> and last year’s breakout wonder Brock Stewart would presumably be the highest-leverage guys. (Although it’s worth remembering that Stewart has an unfortunate injury history, himself.)</p>
<p id="373v8o">The DeSclafani injury is possibly more damaging to the team’s season plans, although it locks in St. Paul’s own Louis Varland as the #5 starter. Varland’s gotten <a href="https://www.mlb.com/twins/news/louie-varland-has-another-strong-spring-training-start">lots of raves</a> from Baldelli and the press this spring — he was certainly going to be up fairly quickly this season, anyways.</p>
<p id="rg5SuO">As to the other clickbait in the title, Byron Buxton <a href="https://www.mlb.com/twins/news/twins-injuries-and-roster-moves">was scratched from</a> today’s game with back soreness. The team thinks he’s OK. This will always be concerning for Twins fans, and no doubt for Buxton. But he was the one who knew he was too hurt to play outfield last year, so if he says he’s feeling much better now, that’s a good sign.</p>
<p id="SbPW53">Looking at <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/15/24074098/breaking-down-the-twins-likely-2024-opening-day-roster">Ben’s roster breakdown</a> from last month, some of the pitching names who’ve been doing OK this spring include Jorge Alcala and Kody Funderburk. Josh Staumont has a minor league option year left, too. The Twins might also decide to go with a more traditional long-relief option like Cole Sands. We’ll see!</p>
<p id="X0ivLS">(Oh, and speaking of our old friend Gordon, he made a splash on some podcast or other by saying <a href="https://arizonasports.com/story/3544190/miami-marlins-nick-gordon-says-he-doesnt-believe-the-moon-is-real/">the moon isn’t real</a>. Just thought that after this frustrating baseball news, y’all might appreciate a story that’s about ballplayers being silly like ballplayers always do.)</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/3/18/24105238/mlb-minnesota-jhoan-duran-caleb-thielbar-anthony-desclafaini-all-injured-byron-buxton-sore-but-okJames Fillmore2024-03-16T14:35:00-04:002024-03-16T14:35:00-04:00Everything you need to know about today’s “Spring Breakout” game
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<img alt="Minnesota Twins v Boston Red Sox" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/g0gqyzIxFcy-NiyOAO7sJMOlDik=/0x0:7110x4740/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73212018/2088793315.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Brooks Lee, being asked if milk is delicious. | Photo by Brace Hemmelgarn/Minnesota Twins/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>It’ll be the Twins’ top prospects vs. the Rays’, and they always have pretty good ones!</p> <p id="F63r7V">Today is the Twins’ “Spring Breakout” game. It’s something new for 2024 that every team will be doing this weekend, where each team plays its top prospects against the other team’s top prospects. Should be fun! Let’s get to the info.</p>
<p id="49l7QK"><strong>What time is the game?</strong> About 3:05 Central. The first game will feature Twins’ veterans against Rays’ veterans, and the Spring Breakout game is after that one. You really don’t care who lands the last bullpen spot, do you? Do you?</p>
<p id="8WrPna"><strong>Will it be on TV?</strong> Yes! FREE on the AtBat app! Also on the dreaded Bally Sports North, and MLB.TV.</p>
<p id="oHW6bG"><strong>Will it be on radio?</strong> Um... I dunno. The first game will be, for sure. At least the Audacy <a href="https://www.audacy.com/stations/wccoradio/shows/show-schedule">schedule page</a> says so. But it’s only listed from 12-3 PM. At 3 PM, something called “Sports Weekend With Steve Thomson” is listed. Maybe WCCO will pre-empt that for the Twins game, maybe not.</p>
<p id="rEcOYK"><strong>Who is Steve Thomson?</strong> I dunno that, either. Maybe, this guy?</p>
<div id="8IICqk"><div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 75%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RmZgVk3ItGc?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div></div>
<p id="DrnAhP"><strong>Forget about that, which Twins prospects are playing?</strong> Now you’re talking! Here’s the pitchers (they’re all RH):</p>
<p id="47B78z">David Festa (starting), Marco Raya, Charlee Soto, Zebby Matthews, Alejandro Crisostomo, A.J. Labas, Cody Laweryson, Juan Mendez, Jackson Noble, Miguel Rodriguez.</p>
<p id="zVBUdu">The hitters (super outfield prospect Walter Jenkins is nursing a <a href="https://www.mlb.com/twins/news/rays-twins-spring-breakout-2024-faq">left quad strain</a>): Catchers Ricardo Olivar, Andrew Cossetti, Noah Cardenas. Infielders Brooks Lee, Austin Martin, Luke Keaschall, Tanner Schobel, Brandon Winokur, Danny De Andrade, Yunior Severino, Ben Ross, Jose Salas. Outfielders Emmanuel Rodriguez, Gabriel Gonzalez, Kala’i Rosario, Jose Rodriguez.</p>
<p id="iXUc4P"><strong>Did you just copy/paste that list from Do-Hyoung Park?</strong> Yeah but I <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/twins-spring-breakout-roster-2024?t=mlb-pipeline-coverage">switched the order</a> once or twice.</p>
<p id="eGvB2t"><strong>Where can I read about these future superstars?</strong> Our own Ben wrote <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/25/24049397/2024-emmanuel-rodriguez-minnesota-twins-top-prospects-evaluation">about Emmanuel Rodriguez</a>. And there’s expandable scouting reports about the others <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/minnesota-twins-top-prospect-rankings/#">on TwinsDaily</a> and <a href="https://www.mlb.com/prospects/twins/">on MLB.com</a>.</p>
<p id="e3swed"><strong>What about the guys they didn’t profile?</strong> Those guys are all crap and never will be any good.</p>
<p id="APpOzr"><strong>You’re forgetting Luis Arráez, he wasn’t considered a top prospect.</strong> Shut up.</p>
<p id="lMEPnU"><strong>Is this an actual game thread?</strong> No, but you can use it as one! Be nice to each other!</p>
<p id="J6ivcs">Enjoy the game, and be sure to go back to discover <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/3/8/24093862/mlb-links-dinosaurs-aliens-shane-greene-ryan-jeffers-cory-lewis-oakland-as-stadium-nfl-vikings-taxes">which baseball players</a> believe in aliens but not dinosaurs!</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/3/16/24103086/mlb-spring-breakout-game-minnesota-twins-tampa-bay-rays-david-festa-brooks-lee-emmanuel-rodriguezJames Fillmore2024-03-08T14:28:29-05:002024-03-08T14:28:29-05:00Baseball (and more) links, dinosaurs and aliens edition
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<img alt="One Prehistoric Night" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/7OwgZABDvz-WaEVbJiGKnsqSTbo=/0x304:3600x2704/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73192473/1148020449.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Is it the past... <em>or the FUTURE?</em> | Photo by Frank R. Paul/Buyenlarge/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>Once more, the Hosken Powell Memorial Link Dump lives on...</p> <p id="jWm8GX">The Athletic <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5295401%2F2024%2F02%2F24%2Ftwins-catcher-ryan-jeffers%2F&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F3%2F8%2F24093862%2Fmlb-links-dinosaurs-aliens-shane-greene-ryan-jeffers-cory-lewis-oakland-as-stadium-nfl-vikings-taxes" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">profiled Ryan Jeffers</a>. They like him. And <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/11/15/23944505/mlb-minnesota-twins-about-that-ryan-jeffers-breakout-babip-contact-quality-discipline">we like him</a>. TwinsDaily <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/twins-daily-2024-top-prospects-7-cory-lewis-rhp-r15654/">profiled Cory Lewis</a>, the Twins system’s own knuckleballer. They like him. And <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/29/24080636/mlb-the-2012-documentary-you-may-have-missed-kunckleball-tim-wakefield-ra-dickey-charlie-hough">we like knuckleballers</a>.</p>
<p id="UagEQZ">MLB is <a href="https://www.mlb.com/spring-training/spring-breakout?partnerId=zh-20240211-1166195-MLB-1-A&qid=100000042&utm_id=zh-20240211-1166195-MLB-1-A&bt_ee=Nc8uDFZm01Fk3QRm%2BSJvFV77o3Z9SKv56i24AngoI56wKJgmZk62gmGucTP%2B6%2F8Q&bt_ts=1707663852556">featuring a promotion</a> called “Spring Breakout,” which sounds like a 1990s MTV series, but it’s not. Each team will have a doubleheader with all-veterans in one game and all-top prospects in the other. This sounds very cool! The Twins one (against Tampa Bay) will be on March 16, and have <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/twins-spring-breakout-roster-2024?t=mlb-pipeline-coverage">this prospect roster</a>. That game is scheduled to be on Bally Sports North, <em>but</em>, it is a doubleheader. Will Bally Sports show both the veterans’ game and the prospects’ game? I hope so. They might not, because Bally Sports sucks.</p>
<p id="C5MZxL">You’ll recall how Joe Pohlad said on the radio that the Twins weren’t going <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/22/24080294/minnesota-twins-fort-report-good-health-bad-pohlads-byron-buxton-healthy-payroll-cut">to spend any more</a> on payroll to start the season. Well, he wasn’t supposed to do that. It’s actually a violation of the CBA to say too much about which players teams are/aren’t targeting in free agency. The MLBPA was <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/did-the-twins-violate-a-clause-in-the-mlbpa-contract-over-joe-pohlads-comments-on-free-agency/ar-BB1iVa5O">considering a formal complaint</a> about it, yet probably will let this one slide. Hey, the guy’s still learning the family business. Remember, Joe Pohlad was also in charge of redesigning the Twins’ uniforms last year, including a hat that looks exactly like the Marlins’ one. Although it came <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2022/11/25/23470345/mlb-minnesota-twins-new-hat-design-in-which-i-sing-the-praises-of-a-box-great-gift-giving-idea">in a very cool box</a>.</p>
<p id="URM2H4">In a typically weird move, <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/39492323/former-mets-gm-billy-eppler-suspended-fabricating-injuries">Rob Manfred suspended</a> former Mets GM Billy Eppler for the 2024 season, because the Mets were falsely reporting player injuries to create roster spots. But, you may ask, doesn’t basically every MLB team do that? Ken Rosenthal <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5264847%2F2024%2F02%2F09%2Fshohei-ohtani-media-billy-eppler%2F&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F3%2F8%2F24093862%2Fmlb-links-dinosaurs-aliens-shane-greene-ryan-jeffers-cory-lewis-oakland-as-stadium-nfl-vikings-taxes" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">certainly thinks so</a>.</p>
<p id="A6FKEw">Ah, the Mets and their wacky GMs. They <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/30737248/ny-mets-gm-jared-porter-acknowledges-sending-explicit-images-female-reporter-worked-chicago-cubs">had to fire</a> Jared Porter (previously of Wayzata, MN!) after it came out that he was sending unsolicited BLEEP pics to a female reporter. Then his replacement, Zack Scott, was fired for a DUI charge. Which it turned out he wasn’t convicted of. It’s <a href="https://www.si.com/mlb/mets/news/the-backstory-of-what-happened-between-zack-scott-and-the-mets">a whole tale</a>. Let’s not forget that Mets owner Steve Cohen’s financial companies paid <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Cohen_(businessman)#Racketeering_and_insider_trading_charges">millions in fines</a> on racketeering charges. And, they used to be owned by Bernie Madoff!</p>
<p id="8v6qSW">The site WhiskeyRiff (?) <a href="https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/03/06/nothing-says-baseball-is-back-like-broadcasters-filling-time-by-discussing-shane-greenes-dinosaur-fossil-conspiracy-theory/">appreciates how</a> baseball announcers fill the down spots in games by telling interesting or unusual baseball stories. They noticed a recent Atlanta/Detroit game where the broadcasters talked about the former Tigers pitcher Shane Greene. Greene was on the mound for Atlanta. Announcer Darren O’Day said this:</p>
<p id="Ze161Z"><em>“I remember the first night he sat in the bullpen down there, I just couldn’t believe that this guy is up there telling me how strongly he believes in aliens and thinks they’ve visited us multiple times…</em></p>
<p id="dNL5OQ"><em>I’m thinking ‘Okay, Aliens, no big deal.’ He leaned a little bit more to the conspiratorial side. Also believed that dinosaur fossils were a money making scheme by museums and governments.”</em></p>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Braves booth discusses Shane Greene's belief that dinosaur fossils are a moneymaking scheme by museums and government. <a href="https://t.co/QCb9onxw5a">pic.twitter.com/QCb9onxw5a</a></p>— Baseball GIFs (@gifs_baseball) <a href="https://twitter.com/gifs_baseball/status/1765101352269533322?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 5, 2024</a>
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<p id="R06ipo">Naturally, if the guy next to you on the bus was talking like this, you’d worry he was off his meds. For a baseball player? Eh, I’ve heard weirder.</p>
<p id="Ki0M0a">In Tuesday’s primary election, Dodgers legend Steve Garvey <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-primary-elections/california-senate-results">took second place</a> for California’s open US Senate seat, so he’ll be on the ballot in November. So far, his campaign <a href="https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/02/california-primary-senate-steve-garvey-adam-schiff-katie-porter-barbara-lee.html">is completely bananas</a>.</p>
<p id="RmXZaM">The Utah state legislature <a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2024/03/04/21093/utah-passes-2b-in-mlb-and-nhl-subsidies-now-just-needs-mlb-and-nhl-teams/">authorized $2 billion</a> in funding for possible future MLB/NHL expansion team stadiums. Neither league is really seriously considering expansion in Salt Lake right now (lovely as the mountains are!). Braves legend Dale Murphy, now a Utah resident, showed up to give everyone in the legislature a signed baseball. And yes, the song about him <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWvkhzC014s">is awesome</a>.</p>
<p id="GihTcb">At our sibling site Canis Hoopus, Thilo Latrell Widder <a href="https://www.canishoopus.com/2024/2/4/24053195/alex-rodriguez-hall-of-fame-wolves-owner-kevin-garnett-jersey-retirement-glen-taylor-flip-saunders">wonders what</a> Alex Rodriguez owning the Timberwolves means for Kevin Garnett. The Wolves have never retired his jersey, largely because Garnett wouldn’t let them. Because Garnett hated former owner Glen Taylor (with good reason). Whether or not you care about this, click on the article link to see some very cool top-of-page artwork.</p>
<p id="42ocaM"><a href="https://slate.com/culture/2024/03/fanatics-mlb-jerseys-baseball-pants-uniforms-monopoly-regulation.html">Alex Kirshner at <em>Slate</em></a> wonders if Fanatics shouldn’t be investigated by Congress. It’s not as crazy an idea as it sounds. Besides making <a href="https://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2024/2/21/24079194/fanatics-mlb-uniforms-see-through-pants">terrible baseball uniforms</a> and delivering terrible customer service, Fanatics has its fingers in a whole lot of sports money pies, including running many team stores. That giant Vikings team store off I-494 in Eagan, next to the giant Vikings training facility? <a href="https://www.vikings.com/fans/locker-room-store/">Fanatics runs that</a>.</p>
<p id="ndOtDQ">There was a Super Bowl recently. It broke every record previously set for online gambling. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/23/super-bowl-illegal-bets-gambling-black-market?ref=upstract.com">A huge chunk of that</a> was illegal. And, increasingly, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/commentisfree/2024/feb/09/gambling-seniors-sports-betting">it’s seniors who are</a> vulnerable to becoming addicted or getting scammed. But hey, NFL/MLB/NBA/NHL, keep promoting gambling, nothing can go wrong!</p>
<p id="U6cJ1K">One quick thought; what if, <s>someday</s> eventually, a player/ump/ref threw a game that had many millions in gambling spent, and lost, on the outcome? Those people who lost money to legal gambling sites would be rather upset, I imagine.</p>
<p id="9kUmFQ">Over at his <a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2024/02/07/20905/stadiums-and-arenas-are-set-to-collect-18b-in-property-tax-breaks-over-their-lifetimes/">Field Of Schemes website</a>, Neil deMause reviews an academic publication from last year, <em>Major League Sports and the Property Tax</em> (academic books often have titles like this). What sounds interesting about the book is it looks at lost property taxes, since almost no stadiums pay property tax. The author, Geoffrey Propheter, used to be a tax assessor in NYC.</p>
<p id="nKWsOp">Propheter estimates what sports owners would be paying if they did pay property taxes on stadiums. As you’d guess, Yankee Stadium is right near the top, at $24.2 million a year. They’re not #1, though! The Vikings are! $25.1, baby!</p>
<p id="tKoD1R">Do they pay property taxes on that giant sports complex in Eagan? I think they do. But who knows? Do they want $231 million in “maintenance” on US Bank Stadium, which opened in 2016? HAHAHA <a href="https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/231-million-needed-to-maintain-us-bank-stadium-for-next-decade/89-9cdbb206-b877-47ee-b3aa-205bf03b5c68">of course they do</a>! I guess too many birds <a href="https://www.mprnews.org/story/2019/11/15/us-bank-stadium-officials-weigh-options-to-reduce-bird-deaths">flew into it</a>.</p>
<p id="vymnLL">Speaking of football stadiums, you may have heard that the <em>other</em> “football,” you know, the bigger one to most of Earth’s humans, will be having its 2026 World Cup in North America (not in Minneapolis; be glad we <a href="https://youtu.be/DlJEt2KU33I?si=AyAgwyO79m2ovSAJ">dodged that bullet</a>). Alas, one small problem; all the stadiums where the games will be played have corporate naming rights. And those corporations aren’t FIFA sponsors! So FIFA <a href="https://ftw.usatoday.com/lists/world-cup-2026-fifa-nfl-stadium-new-names-renaming-venues">does not want to call them</a> Gillette Stadium, Hard Rock Stadium, etc. Instead, those will be “Boston Stadium” and “Miami Stadium.” My favorite names are “New York/New Jersey Stadium” and “San Francisco Bay Area Stadium.” Honestly, they should use these names all the time.</p>
<p id="Saqqbz">Finally, back to deMause. He likes to have fun with “vaportecture,” or architects’ renderings of what stadiums are supposedly going to look like. The A’s <a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2024/03/06/21098/behold-the-spherical-armadillo-as-vegas-dream-stadium-has-ginormous-windows-scoreboard-funding-gap/">have finally released</a> their proposed design of a Vegas Stadium, and, as suits Vegas, it is FRIGGIN’ RIDICULOUS. It has multiple overlapping potato bug/armadillo style roofs, which would make A/C difficult in a place where <a href="https://www.weather.gov/vef/lasvegas_climate_book">the <em>normal</em> high</a> from June-September is over 100°. Also, <a href="https://www.athleticsnation.com/2024/3/6/24091627/elephant-rumblings-as-finally-release-new-ballpark-renderings">the thing won’t fit</a> in the intended site. Also, nobody knows who’s paying for it.</p>
<p id="bEsOXC">In the same article, deMause shares his favorite recent vaportecture, for a horse racing facility on Long Island. (Which <a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2023/03/03/19720/friday-roundup-raleigh-to-spend-625m-on-arena-and-convention-center-upgrades-because-reasons-and-other-news/">only wants $455 million</a> in taxpayer money; what a bargain!) deMause is right; this A.I.-assisted image is amazing:</p>
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<p id="pcU4tX">Your eye will likely be drawn to the horses galloping wildly on the left, but please don’t ignore the TRULY TERRIBLE PARENTING on display at right, where these people seem very unconcerned that their kid could get trampled. (One horse appears to be thinking about it.)</p>
<p id="NECRIo">Oh well, they were probably about to gamble away the kid’s college fund.</p>
<p id="XqNG9w">That’s all I got for now! Let’s hope that prospects game is on radio, at least!</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/3/8/24093862/mlb-links-dinosaurs-aliens-shane-greene-ryan-jeffers-cory-lewis-oakland-as-stadium-nfl-vikings-taxesJames Fillmore2024-02-29T08:32:00-05:002024-02-29T08:32:00-05:00The 2012 documentary you may have missed: Knuckleball!
<figure>
<img alt="2012 Tribeca Film Festival - Tribeca Drive-In Screening Of “Knuckleball”" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/0vxHPB7NPB6HG9ZpJW4-OsSYZcY=/0x0:3164x2109/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73172609/143232960.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Maybe you <em>can</em> throw harder than they did... but it won’t work for you. | Photo by Michael Stewart/WireImage</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>99% spoiler-free. (Hint: throwing a knuckler successfully is a <em>really, really</em> difficult thing to do.)</p> <p id="FltK2a">On <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/MIN/MIN200808170.shtml">August 17, 2008</a>, Mariners afterthought pitcher R.A. Dickey entered the game with Seattle down 6-0 in the fourth inning. He wasn’t good, allowing three hits and three walks in 1.1 IP, and tying the major-league-record of four wild pitches in an inning. (A record held by the legend Walter Johnson and by Dickey’s childhood favorite, Phil Niekro).</p>
<p id="1iAWhn">Dickey was 33, with a wife and three young children. He was on a one-year deal. It was his 12<sup>th</sup> one-year deal, since being a first-round draft pick in 1996 (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1996_Major_League_Baseball_draft">two spots ahead</a> of Eric Milton).</p>
<p id="3oUKPV">But he signed another one-year deal in 2009. With the team he tied that wild pitch record against, the Minnesota Twins. They liked the way his knuckleball moved. If he could only control it. Only that! It’s not so hard!</p>
<p id="A2CmpK">On <a href="https://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/NYN/NYN199210040.shtml">October 4, 2002</a>, Pirates rookie Tim Wakefield started Game 5 of the NLCS against Atlanta. He was brilliant, as he had been since his July callup, only four years after being drafted as a power-hitting first baseman. Three years since the Pirates had told him “you can’t hit with wood bats; make it as a pitcher, or else.” Pittsburgh lost in seven games, their third straight year of losing the NLCS, but they’d be back.</p>
<p id="17QruN">They haven’t. And Wakefield was cut by the team in 1995.</p>
<p id="HhZ9RC">The rest, as they say, is history, in a way. And I won’t describe it. You know how to find it yourself.</p>
<p id="B2ZTIc">And one place you can find it is in the fine, sometimes heartbreakingly-good documentary <em>Knuckleball!</em>, released in 2012 with <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140709061919/http://www.knuckleballmovie.com/">the excellent tagline</a> “To Gain Power You Must Give Up Control.” It’s by a pair of filmmakers, Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg, who have been creative partners since 1998. They have an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricki_Stern#Film">eclectic body of work</a> which ranges from the very serious to profiles of people like Joan Rivers; I’ve enjoyed all their films I’ve seen. (And no, <a href="https://indyweek.com/guides/archives-guides/career-award-winners-annie-sundberg-ricki-stern-review-first-part-legacy/">they’re not married</a>; being both professional and life partners that long without a breakup would be amazing, indeed! Even the Coen brothers need time apart! Although <a href="https://screenrant.com/coen-brothers-horror-movie-reunion-details/">they’re over that</a>, now...)</p>
<p id="q1sZCb">I won’t describe what happens in the movie because it has the drama (and laughs) of a fiction film, and some people may not remember what was going on in baseball back then. So, I’m not ruining the ending. Not yet.</p>
<p id="2S5U38">The film follows Dickey and Wakefield during the 2011 season, with them both still in the majors on Opening Day. Each pitcher has a goal for himself, as all good players do. The drama is in seeing if they’ll achieve it.</p>
<p id="jT8dCb">The humor comes from those two men, and from former knuckleballers Niekro, Jim Bouton, Charlie Hough, and others. (That’s Hough and Bouton in the picture; Niekro you can recognize in the film for carrying ball-scuffing equipment in his pockets... nope, sorry, that’d be <a href="https://www.sportingnews.com/us/mlb/news/joe-niekro-1987-ejection-video-emery-board-nail-file-scuffed-balls-twins-david-letterman/1wuy80oxek1kt1xcam6x1h43cq">his brother Joe</a>, the Twins player.)</p>
<p id="s2JTwr">Knuckleballers have a fraternity; they all know each other. Players practice throwing it, and think anyone can do it. Managers, scouts, and analysts don’t trust it. The chances of making it as a knuckleballer are the lowest of the low in baseball. (I don’t know about the other men, but both Dickey and Wakefield were devoutly religious. You gotta have faith in SOMETHING, whatever it is, to make it as a knuckleballer.)</p>
<p id="FsGiv1">To fans, the pitch is a rare oddity; there’s never more than a few knuckleballers in baseball at any given moment, often none. So a default complaint from duller fans is "I could throw harder than that." It’s a blast from the past hearing furious Red Sox fans on call-in radio, screaming for Wakefield’s head after he costs the team a big game (and he does cost them a very big one, indeed). The film is fantastic at finding just the right period footage and audio like that -- and in 2012 it was harder to dig up old footage/recordings than it would be, today.</p>
<p id="lUEOBr">It’s also a blast from the past, in a way, seeing sportswriters from prominent publications of the time (who fill in some of the background information; there’s no narration). Now sportswriting is <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/2/24055284/mlb-minnesota-twins-sports-illustrated-magazine-journalism-baseball-weekly-best-buy-swimsuit-issue">all but dead</a>, and it’s the same attitudes of Hawt Tayk talk-show radio that helped kill it. Just in a different way than anyone would have predicted, back then.</p>
<p id="EyHFPp">The video clips really do make a knuckleball look ridiculous, at times. Like the <a href="https://genius.com/Kenny-rogers-the-greatest-lyrics">Kenny Rogers song</a>, where a kid throws a ball in the air over and over, trying to hit it, and missing each time, then concluding “I am the greatest that is a fact / But even I didn’t know I could pitch like that!”</p>
<p id="Lcs53a">And watching WHO swings and misses at those pitches is wild. Ichiro doing that? Pujols? You make those guys look like they’re flailing at a butterfly with a sippy straw, you have fooled the best.</p>
<p id="xU0sTL">Baseball has a <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/statcast-measures-swords-stat-for-pitchers">new stat this season</a> called “the sword,” to honor pitches so filthy that hitters look like they’re hacking a sword at it. That term was coined by a hip super-young kid doing Hip Youth internet stuff.</p>
<p id="fYisvq">(Actually, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rob_Friedman_(baseball_analyst)">by a law professor</a> who started taking an analytics interest in baseball <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/scottorgera/2019/01/04/pitching-ninja-rob-friedman-launches-flatground-to-help-pitchers-learn-and-be-seen/?sh=501500af6ffb">while coaching his kid</a>, and wanted to teach kids on the internet in a fun way, for free. He thinks most professional youth coaching is too expensive. <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/14/24024623/linda-flanagan-take-back-the-game-a-book-about-whats-wrong-in-kids-sports-and-how-to-fix-it">I quite agree</a>!)</p>
<p id="3zEXt7">If “the sword” had existed in 2011, Wakefield and Dickey would be the top swordsmen around.</p>
<p id="t41Zc0">Now, here’s the spoiler alerts. I promise they won’t ruin the movie.</p>
<p id="xe7HoW">In the film, Dickey says that, growing up, his parents were divorced, and he had some rough things to get through. All true.</p>
<p id="i4gGpa">Just not the whole truth.</p>
<p id="9uBuM5">Dickey was a repeat childhood victim of sexual abuse. For years. By male and female babysitters. He endured stretches of living on the street to escape, and would always be returned to that home. It was coming to terms with it later, with the help of his wife, faith, and professional therapy, that really turned his life around. <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2016/8/28/12580896/the-triumphs-of-r-a-dickey">That story’s right here</a>. That’s the one I knew.</p>
<p id="SLrQAa">Tim Wakefield, who had an offer to continue playing baseball in 2012, retired instead to spend time with his family. Which he did, until last October. <a href="https://www.overthemonster.com/2023/10/1/23898486/tim-wakefield-passes-away-aged-57-boston-red-sox-pitcher-death">When he died</a>. At 57. His two children were both under 20.</p>
<p id="XyBG9W">I didn’t know that. All my baseball attention was focused on the Twins <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/10/1/23898718/mlb-minnesota-twins-rockies-playoff-ready-extra-innings-season-over-lets-effing-go">heading to the playoffs</a>. I’m sure I heard something about it, but I was too obsessed with the Twins to think about Wakefield’s family.</p>
<p id="FB2lMB">His family had asked everyone to keep Wakefield’s illness a secret. Having a dying parent when you’re still a teenager isn’t easy – ask my brother. The family wanted their suffering and grief to be private. Almsot everyone honored that. <a href="https://www.overthemonster.com/2023/10/2/23899861/tim-wakefield-was-once-the-best-pitcher-on-the-planet-red-sox-1995-alds">Everyone who knew Wakefield</a> respected him.</p>
<p id="14L9iw">After we saw the movie, Mrs. James looked up Tim Wakefield on Wiki, and said “wow, he died?” I said “that can’t be true.” It was. She said “they wanted his cancer to be private, but a teammate told everyone.”</p>
<p id="2qR8vf">Which teammate?</p>
<p id="x0OPf2">Its was Curt Schilling, folks. <a href="https://awfulannouncing.com/mlb/curt-schilling-revealing-tim-wakefield-brain-cancer.html">On his podcast</a>. Curt F***ING SCHILLING. Who <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/sports/curt-schilling-reveals-permission-former-red-sox-teammate-tim-wakefiel-rcna118019">bitches why</a> NOBODY WANTS HIM IN THE HALL OF FAME.</p>
<p id="GEMCa5">Spoiler alert: Curt Schilling is an a**hole. </p>
<p id="S4JCyi">You don’t need to know these things to enjoy <em>Knuckleball!</em> It’s good enough on its own. But it lends more power to the story knowing what Dickey had to overcome, and how meaningful Wakefield’s decision to spend more time with his family would become.</p>
<p id="7cUSD3">Happily, Dickey is alive and well. In a funny moment in the movie, we see him playing catch with his youngest son, and the kid makes the Worst Throw, Ever. Dickey enthusiastically says “that was great!” and you just want to hug the guy for Good Dad Form.</p>
<p id="g4nrrv">By the way, that kid’s a star on his high-school baseball team, now, and Dad <a href="https://mainstreetmediatn.com/articles/baseball-sports-mainstreetpreps/former-mlb-pitcher-r-a-dickey-cherishing-time-with-son-eli-as-part-of-cpa-baseball-coaching-staff/">sometimes helps coach</a>.</p>
<p id="CcnwVl">Has Dickey been in touch with Twins prospect Cory Lewis? The guy at Fort Myers who threw this <a href="https://x.com/EthanMChapman/status/1696296643539148837?s=20">amazing knuckleball</a>?</p>
<p id="RECBSS"><a href="https://www.justbaseball.com/mlb/saving-the-knuckleball-with-twins-prospect-cory-lewis/">Of course, he has</a>. And so has Charlie Hough. These knuckleballers stick together. They know, as well as anyone, that you can practice as hard as you can, and try to perform as best you can, and after that? Some things in life are out of your control.</p>
<p id="2X4m7J">The film <em>Knuckleball!</em> is available <a href="https://sppl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/2084817138">at local libraries</a>, or streaming on the Roku channel.</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/29/24080636/mlb-the-2012-documentary-you-may-have-missed-kunckleball-tim-wakefield-ra-dickey-charlie-houghJames Fillmore2024-02-17T08:00:00-05:002024-02-17T08:00:00-05:00The different versions of "Fever Pitch"
<figure>
<img alt="Comic Relief Archive 1990’s" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/tiwQeaafDOE34NVaT_34YOaVclc=/0x584:4038x3276/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73146348/1251739746.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>These are the stars of "Fever Pitch." Colin Firth is the one on the right. Ruth Gemmell is clearly not thrilled by the flash in her face. | Photo by George Bodnar/Comic Relief via Getty Images</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>We look at the better sports movie that was remade into a OK-but-shallower sports movie.</p> <p id="DEoT9X">You may remember the 2005 movie <em>Fever Pitch</em>, the rom-com which asks, “can a dedicated Red Sox fan prioritize True Love over being a True Fan?” (Since it’s a rom-com, the answer is “yes, in the end.”)</p>
<p id="X04tS7"><a href="https://www.royalsreview.com/2020/3/25/21188551/what-is-your-favorite-baseball-movie">If you liked <em>Fever Pitch</em></a>, I’m here to recommend the original film it was based on... you might like the original better.</p>
<p id="Dqh6p9">If you didn’t like <em>Fever Pitch</em>, you will definitely like the original movie better.</p>
<p id="8fI7li">And if you never saw <em>Fever Pitch</em>, you might enjoy the original even if you don’t like sports movies and/or rom-coms. (It’s not a sports movie, and not really a rom-com, more of a drama with funny moments.)</p>
<p id="2XbeTd">The original is a <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119114/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_3_tt_8_nm_0_q_fever%2520pitch">1997 English film</a> starring Colin Firth and Ruth Gemmell, as a couple whose relationship is stalled by Firth’s obsession with soccer. It’s also called <em>Fever Pitch</em>; in English soccer, “pitch” refers to the field of play.</p>
<p id="GQJ85P">It’s loosely based on Nick Hornby’s 1992 memoir <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/item/show/6307701109"><em>Fever Pitch: A Fan’s Life</em></a>. You’ve likely seen at least one other movie based on a Hornby book; the very good <a href="https://sppl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/1555623138"><em>About A Boy</em></a> and very great <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/item/show/1027896109"><em>High Fidelity</em></a> are adapted from Hornby’s novels.</p>
<p id="Iu3CeK">The book <em>Fever Pitch</em> is about the ups and many, many downs of being passionately invested in the fate of one sports team. When Hornby wrote it, his team (Arsenal, the famed soccer squad from North London) was stuck in a long funk, and just on the verge of becoming a top team again. (And before they were bought by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Kroenke">an American billionaire</a> who became a billionaire by marrying a Wal-Mart heiress. This man also owns an NBA team, an NHL team, and somehow two NFL teams, but no baseball team. Guess he doesn't like baseball.)</p>
<p id="wJhcDN">Hornby nails what it’s like to take a team’s successes and failures personally, as a reflection on yourself. When the team wins, it bodes well for your immediate hopes in life, and vice versa — if you fail at something, or suffer immense disappointment about something, it means the team will probably choke at a crucial moment, too.</p>
<p id="gou0Qo">And Hornby realizes this is completely irrational. He knows it comes from childhood experiences, where going to Arsenal games gave him a sense of closeness to his family that he didn't always feel. And how feeling like a part of the frequently-disappointed fanbase is real, but not as real as loved ones and friends can be.</p>
<p id="G9cZGc">If you’ve seen the 2005 <em>Fever Pitch</em>, you’ll know that its story is much more simplistic than that. It’s how the main Red Sox fan character needs to realize his fandom is immature, that it’s blocking his path to checking off the Next Achievement Of Impressive Adulthood. (In a similar 2005 movie, <em>The 40-Year-Old Virgin</em>, the main character has to make a breakthrough by selling his collectable toys.)</p>
<p id="gSwVXi">A friend of mine recently wrote me that this isn’t really what Hornby was getting at. He said, “‘the reason to grow up isn’t to “get with it,” or anything like that. It’s because if you don’t grow up and take on responsibilities, then others can’t rely on you, and thus you miss out on an important aspect of the human experience, which is to be needed and valued by others.”’</p>
<p id="Semftk">That’s closer to the 1997 <em>Fever Pitch</em> film, and not surprisingly so, since Hornby wrote that screenplay himself. (It was his first; he’d later do fine screenplays based on other people’s writing, like 2015’s <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/item/show/5378261109"><em>Brooklyn</em></a>.)</p>
<p id="lWST4j"><strong>On The Movies</strong></p>
<p id="PBlqHP">Your enjoyment of the 2005 movie will probably depend on how much you tolerate the “adults who giggle at their own cuteness like teenagers” act of Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore.</p>
<p id="YGrRVG">It’s not for me. I can put up with it a little in Barrymore, because I’ve never known a woman like that. I have known men like that, I found them more manipulative than charming, and so I don’t care for Fallon’s schtick. (Neither, apparently, do <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/jimmy-fallon-tonight-show-toxic-work-environment-crying-rooms-nbc-1234819421/">the staff on his TV show</a>.)</p>
<p id="HgEKQ5">As to the plot, I barely remember it. I do remember that Barrymore played a go-getting high-powered Boston corporate executive, and Fallon played an elementary schoolteacher. Both roles struck me as... a bit of a reach? (Could you imagine Jimmy Fallon in charge of keeping 20 kids safe on a field trip? He’d be too busy making silly faces to notice the quiet kid climbing into the zoo's lion pit.)</p>
<p id="VoXMZ8">The 1997 <em>Fever Pitch</em> makes both Colin Firth and Ruth Gemmell middle-school teachers, and yes, I would trust either one with kids. In one scene, Firth is coaching soccer, and a player makes a crucial mistake. Firth asks him, would you rather have that mistake back or have Arsenal win the big game tomorrow? Naturally, the kid would prefer Arsenal win, and immediately feels less awful about the mistake.</p>
<p id="TJiRz3">Firth gives a great performance. Everyone does, but his character is the focus. When Gemmell, as the girlfriend who doesn’t know soccer at all, manages to learn quite a bit quite quickly (they’re both highly literate, intelligent people), Firth is slightly ticked at how well she understands the game and its nuances. Sure, she can root for Arsenal now, but she hasn’t <em>suffered</em> for Arsenal.</p>
<p id="Hbo2zp">That’s petty. Yet you can see his weird logic; if she thinks all there is to fandom is knowing a lot about the game, and not enduring multiple heartbreaks, what else about him will she never understand? Obviously, part of him wants to push her away for fear of getting hurt. At least when Arsenal breaks his heart, it isn’t personal. (Except, in his mind, it sort of is!)</p>
<p id="N6E3Jh">The scene that’ll ring true for any sports superfan is Firth watching Arsenal on TV in a key game with his best friend (Mark Strong). Firth can’t enjoy any good moment, moaning how it’ll make the inevitable collapse even more devastating. Every Arsenal player is a bum destined to screw up, and all the refs are unfair. The friend is used to this, and puts up with it because he’s a friend. But it is clearly annoying. (Firth even almost seems to know how annoying it is, yet can’t help himself, since “we Arsenal fans are so put-upon” has been part of his identity for so long.)</p>
<p id="55CN3o">It’s the same vibe with Firth and Gemmell’s relationship; the disagreements feel real, not things put there to add phony tension. They clearly do care for each other a lot, they clearly do want to make it work. They look for a first place to move into together, and Firth finds a reasonably affordable one. Right next to Arsenal’s stadium! On the same block! You can understand why he finds it a steal, and why she finds it ridiculous.</p>
<p id="G1y6M2">Their arguments sting, in the way Fallon's and Barrymore's never do. (You feel bad that those two are sad, but it’s the way you feel bad about a sad-looking puppy hoping to eat off your plate.) Because Firth's and Gammell's characters are so clued in to how each other think, they know how to hurt with a few choice words. If you've never been there, I commend your perfect relationship history, you are a model for all humanity forever.</p>
<p id="2VTsCO">Ultimately, this <em>Fever Pitch</em> is better than the 2005 movie because of those arguments. They make the relationship feel real, and not something destined to turn out perfectly at the end. It helps that the performers are people chosen for their acting skill, not their celebrity status. (Although Firth is quite a celebrity in England, and particularly famed for a <a href="https://youtu.be/hasKmDr1yrA?si=09jN10rO4blA794d">wet shirt</a> scene in <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/item/show/4428265109"><em>Pride and Prejudice</em></a>.) In the 2005 film, you assume the couple ends up together; in this one, you hope they do.</p>
<p id="QhuM8P">And it’s also more mature about sports fandom. In the book, Hornby describes how he pushed away from fandom as he got older. He would still watch and attend games, still know every name on the roster, but he would also stop letting his entire life revolve around the season.</p>
<p id="QQn0hM">Most of us older sports fans have had to make that adjustment in order to stay fans at all. Maybe because it interfered with our human connections. Or anything else! If the Twins are in a bad game or bad season, sometimes I'd just as soon read a book.</p>
<p id="juK48W">The film’s available to watch <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fever-Pitch-Colin-Firth/dp/B08VDXQCFG?tag=sbnation-20" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">on FreeVee</a>; we got it from <a href="https://mnlink.on.worldcat.org/search/detail/46479914?queryString=fever%20pitch&subformat=Video%3A%3Avideo_dvd&changedFacet=format&clusterResults=true&groupVariantRecords=false&page=1">interlibrary loan</a>. Ridiculously, some American video copies discarded this original poster’s funny tagline:</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt=" " data-mask-text="false" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/tLQPb3_UiNSRfHJMZWCx4yBRCLc=/400x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25285031/poster.jpg">
</figure>
<p id="on5qhs">and replaced it with this heap of s**t:</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt=" " data-mask-text="false" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/2pYfz7us_LWXYcnazYs8SQtTAuQ=/400x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25285028/51CCTSE8F2L._SL500_AA300_.jpg">
<figcaption>Any 13-year-old boys who rented the movie from Blockbuster because of this cover ended up sorely disappointed.</figcaption>
</figure>
<p id="O1qYw5">And no, you don’t have to know anything about soccer to like it. Just that goals are good, goals are rare, and one goal made or missed often means everything. (Also, "football" means "soccer" in England... but you probably already knew all these things.)</p>
<p id="OBsabY">Watch it if you like movies about grownup relationships, and especially if you’ve had a relationship where one person was much more into a hobby than the other. You’ll enjoy it, I promise.</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/17/24072484/baseball-the-different-versions-of-fever-pitch-colin-firth-arsenal-nick-hornby-fallon-barrymoreJames Fillmore2024-02-11T08:00:00-05:002024-02-11T08:00:00-05:00Classic player video game ULTIMATE WORLD SERIES SHOWDOWN
<figure>
<img alt="Minnesota Twins v Chicago Cubs" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/YEBVwhgz_TNWxYo1cp-ALXLeBnU=/0x1:5889x3927/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73130319/1344673759.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>And you know it was Bill Veeck who planted the ivy, don’t you? At least, he <em>said</em> he did. | Photo by Brace Hemmelgarn/Minnesota Twins/Getty Images</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>It’s the final imaginary round of teams featuring old/new players (and a recently traded one).</p> <p id="HMWaMY"><em>To </em><a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/21/24024462/mlb-classic-player-video-game-ultimate-playoff-showdown-mauer-morneau-killebrew-carew-hunter-nathan"><em>recap vol. 1</em></a><em> and </em><a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/28/24051263/mlb-classic-player-video-game-playoff-showdown-joe-mauer-mariano-rivera-royce-lewis-gerrit-cole"><em>vol. 2</em></a><em>:</em></p>
<p id="JXSuOo"><em>A widely-popular (</em><a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/10/24022756/life-baseball-and-video-games-joe-mauer-mlb-the-show"><em>for some people</em></a><em>) baseball video game has about 200 historic players you can put on any modern team’s “real” roster.</em></p>
<p id="fY3A1r"><em>I put most of them on most modern rosters, trimmed those rosters down to 26 guys, and started a 12-team playoff using the current postseason format, with the 12 teams determined/seeded by how the CPU ranked them.</em></p>
<p id="V49CQZ"><em>Your Twins, ranked #3 in the AL, defeated #6 Boston in the wildcard round, #2 Houston in the ALCS, and #1 New York in the ALDS. Their forces of Goodness are Killebrew, Carew, Blylevn, Hunter, Nathan, Mauer and Morneau, plus my choice of the current “real” Twins.</em></p>
<p id="vHpJL9"><em>Now, it’s World Series time!</em></p>
<p id="aeaXON">Adios, Alex Kirilloff. He hasn’t been used once, and Willi Castro’s available as an IF/OF sub if need be. (Ryan Jeffers, who like Kirilloff has 0 ABs, is only in there in case I need to run for Mauer and use a new catcher afterwards.) Nobody gets injured in these playoffs, and while I wish I could assign Kirilloff as “dugout guy ready to <a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gatorade_shower">douse walkoff hero</a> with Gatorade,” it isn’t an option.</p>
<p id="OQhXcj">Plus, the Twins’ bullpen by the end of the Yankees series was reduced to getting by on <a href="https://www.sbnation.com/2013/12/30/5255996/mlb-baseball-drugs-peds-steroids-amphetamines-greenies-hall-fame">“greenies” they bought</a> from the 1960s players. To solve that problem, I’ve brought in <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/7/24065255/twins-make-santana-jackson-signings-official-dfa-three-players">Jordan Balazovic</a>. It was either him or Jorge Alcala, and Balazovic can throw some innings in a blowout or lonnnnnng game if it comes to that. Now Louis Varland can be used to face a few RH batters without worrying I’ll run out of arms in extra innings.</p>
<p id="lngvdj">Your opponent will be the Chicago Cubs, who completed the unlikely feat of coming back from 3-1 down against the Mike Schmidt, Ryan Howard-led Phillies. What was their secret? I simply re-simmed the CPU games until they won. Why? Well, for one thing, the Phillies were my dad’s favorite team, and I don’t want to poke <a href="https://franklycurious.com/wp/2021/03/28/mean-dad-fantastic-driving-instructor/">that bastard’s ghost</a> just now.</p>
<p id="HmUu7H">But mostly it’s because the Cubs have Mark Prior. Prior, of course, was the #2 pick in 2001 after Minnesota selected Joe Mauer. Some local fans and <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/other/baseball-hall-of-fame-voting-takeaways-joe-mauer-carves-unique-place-in-history/ar-BB1hakgf">hack sportswriters</a> suggested it was because the Twins knew they’d have to pay more for MLB-ready Prior.</p>
<p id="AIk8xV">He was MLB-ready, and it’s <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/looking-back-mike-radcliff-and-terry-ryan-nailed-a-tough-decision-r15585/">interesting to wonder</a> if he might have helped the Twins’ chances of winning a title from 2002-2005 (he was injured in 2006, and never played in MLB again after that season). Of course, had he played for the Twins, he might have been hurt earlier, or later. And the Cubs didn’t get to the World Series with him, as close as they came in 2003.</p>
<p id="TMstcf">Also appealing are the sheer number of classic Cubs in this game, including the one Cub everybody in the universe likes, <a href="https://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2021/6/1/22451731/greatest-cub-of-all-time-ernie-banks">Ernie Banks</a>. Plus Ryne Sandberg, Billy Williams, Sammy Sosa, Andre Dawson, and Alfonso Soriano. That’s a lineup; with superstarter Kerry Wood and bullpenners Bruce Sutter/Lee Smith to boot. Urp...</p>
<p id="7N5LKt"><strong>World Series Game 1: Bert vs. LHP Justin Steele, Wrigley.</strong> And, yes, no DH. Screw Rob Manfred. (This will become a thing.) In 2022, sportswriter Ann Killion <a href="https://www.sfchronicle.com/sports/giants/article/Love-it-or-hate-it-The-Chronicle-weighs-in-on-16864792.php">proposed that</a> NL teams should get the DH “as long as a starting pitcher is in the game. Once the starter is out, so is the DH.” This WAS THE BEST IDEA AND MANFRED SHOULDA DONE IT. Anyhoo...</p>
<p id="296hij">Harmon opens the scoring with a solo dong in the 2nd, but <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2010/8/4/1604583/rays-6-twins-4-walks-will-haunt">walks will haunt</a>. Bert walks leadoff batter Sosa. He advances on a pitch in the dirt, because he isn’t the giant plodding roid monster he’d become later. Dawson singles him in to tie the game.</p>
<p id="oiBViR">Soriano blasts a hanging changeup in the 6th, and Morneau does the same on a slider in the 7th. It’s 2-2.</p>
<p id="5yfp3d">Then everything goes to hell. Two lucky slow grounders by Banks and Dawson, then a duck fart from Soriano to make it 3-2, and Bert’s out. I use Brock Stewart, <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/brock-stewart-on-historic-pace-with-twins">so good at</a> escaping jams in 2023. Not here. Yan Gomes doubles and that’s just about it for the Twins.</p>
<p id="C5cyN9">(Morneau would get his second dong off 1970s reliever Lee Smith in the 9th with two outs. Yay.)</p>
<p id="B9OgH5">Bert gets tagged for 5 ER on 6.1 IP, 1 BB, 5 H, 6 SO. While Justin Steele utterly baBIPped the Twins to death; 0 SO in 7 innings, with 7 H, 0 BB, 2 ER. Oh; and he got a hit, too.</p>
<p id="bmY1Wh">Duds: Lewis, Correa, and Mauer are a combined 0-11. Studs: Morneau, Harmon (3-5 and even his outs were rockets).</p>
<p id="62Lt2Y">There might be one attentive reader out there asking who didn’t start, with no DH available; I put <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/a-new-position-for-royce-lewis-r14676/">Lewis in right</a>, leaving me Kepler and Buxton as PH options. It didn’t bite me, but didn’t help me either.</p>
<p id="9Qi6Hh"><strong>World Series Game 2: López and Kerry Wood.</strong> I consider starting Kepler and moving Lewis to short, as Correa’s been an offensive black hole almost all the playoffs. (I’m using the final player rating updates provided by the game last season, which had Lewis <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/9/15/23875932/mlb-minnesota-twins-10-chicago-white-sox-2-boring-royce-lewis-hits-another-lousy-grand-slam">at Godlike</a> and Correa at <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/24/24047801/mlb-minnesota-twins-carlos-correas-process-should-lead-to-better-results">Less Bad Than</a> He Was Before September.) Correa’s made so many great plays at short, though. Fewer balls have been hit to right. And Lewis has speed out there, if not a great “Reaction” rating (which affects how fast his CPU self adjusts to <a href="https://coachesinsider.com/baseball/outfield-defense-how-to-read-the-ball-steven-e-michael-article/">a bad read</a>).</p>
<p id="fP7OKY">Yes, I let the CPU handle most fielding duties; I just pick which base fielders throw to, and how quickly/hard they throw it. There’s times you attempt <a href="https://www.mlb.com/astros/video/must-c-correa-s-amazing-throw-c2003173983">the jump throw</a> from short to first, and I want to pick when. I’ll let the CPU make fielders run around.</p>
<p id="OZBgOc">Pitch #25 for López is significant. Why? Because it’s the first one a Cub swings at and misses. Everything else was a called strike, a ball, a foul or a hit. López is still terrific (5 IP, 5 H, 0 BB, 8 SO, 1 ER), although his pitch count is high. That makes it an easy decision to pinch-hit for him in the 6th, with Kepler.</p>
<p id="bmUaFk">Max hits it well, but it’s still an out. The same goes for Buxton’s PH in the 9th. That’s better than most of the Twins who played the whole game. Wood faces the minimum through six innings. (The one Morneau hit is followed by a Killebrew GIDP.)</p>
<p id="9RGeLB">The game feels over in the 7th, when the Twins fail to score on Carew’s leadoff double. Sandberg dives to stop Lewis from knocking him in. Actually, it felt over in the 2nd, when Sandberg hit a solo dong. Wood’s another one of those high-90s, Slider Of Death guys.</p>
<p id="pfdHwa">Carew gets the Twins’ third hit with one out in the 9th — and then gets picked off. Julien strikes out one pitch later to end it. The Twins slink home down 2-0, with Ryan and Paddack/Ober due to pitch the next two games. Mauer, Hunter and Correa are batting .196, .132, and .125, respectively, in the playoffs. ALCS hero Lewis is 0-14 in the series. Joe Ryan and Paddack/Ober are scheduled to pitch next — bring out the <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/7/1/23781444/twins-1-orioles-0-ober-and-out">Ober/”over” puns</a>.</p>
<p id="bHOTn1">(Did I promise you a happy ending to this ULTIMATE PLAYOFF SHOWDOWN? I did NOT! I promised to reach the World Series, that’s all!)</p>
<p id="p5C91b"><strong>World Series Game 3: Ryan and Prior, Target Field.</strong> It’s time for <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2017/10/4/16417310/do-i-really-need-to-explain-this-yet-again">that lazy</a> first-ballot <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/23/24048456/joe-mauer-becomes-seventh-twin-to-be-inducted-into-baseball-hall-of-fame-minnesota-mlb">HOFer Mauer</a> to show up.</p>
<p id="gwPlPD">Well... he doesn’t. 0-3 with a K. That's typical for most other Twins as well. Prior only allows five hits in 7.0 IP. Four of those are pretty weak hits, at that. </p>
<p id="rhfm7k">But! Butttt! As the wise one told us, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejDuCJBXR5Q&t=204s">timing is everything</a> in this game. The Twins’ first/only solid hit comes with two on and two out, courtesy of Lewis. Dawson nails Carew trying to score from first; still, the Twins go up 1-0.</p>
<p id="TMocfn">Which is all they’d need. Ryan has <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2022/12/1/23474584/mlb-minnesota-twins-rookie-of-the-year-joe-ryan-bert-blyleven-scott-erickson-francisco-liriano">quietly put up</a> the lowest ERA of any Twins starter, with just one run in 11.1 innings. He’s even better this time; 0 BB and 7 SO in seven full. Only Ernie Banks really bombs a ball, and it pulls foul.</p>
<p id="UpUEjo">Griffin Jax throws almost all sliders and gets almost all strikes in the 8th; Joe Nathan Ks the side in the 9th. One called K is on a ball well outside to Cody Bellinger, so that’s his karmic penance for not re-signing with the Cubs yet in real life.</p>
<p id="oiI8QX">The home plate umpire is named “Mike Fillmore,” which probably also adds a little karmic help. You can make the game have perfect ball/strike calls, but I prefer occasionally incorrect umps, to reflect the reality we have until Rob Manfred stops being an idiot and goes to the automated zone. (All the good changes in recent years <a href="https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10071249-mlbs-theo-epstein-discusses-pitch-clock-rule-changes-were-course-correcting">have come from</a> Theo Epstein, who, unlike Manfred, actually <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/6/23/21295207/where-have-you-gone-bud-selig">enjoys baseball.</a>)</p>
<p id="a0vlCh">Honestly, if the Twins had gone down 0-3, I would have summoned the ghost of Bud Selig to end the season early, and yes I know <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2014/12/20/7426391/the-bud-selig-experience">he’s not dead</a>. (Just dead to Twins fans after nearly <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/5/24/21269101/harry-crump-the-judge-who-saved-the-minnesota-twins-and-his-amazing-resume">contracting the team</a>.) Video games are supposed to be fun, and being down 0-3 to this Cubs’ lineup would be like the video games I hated as a kid — where even if you win a level, you just repeat the same level with the difficulty setting increased, on and on until your money is gone.</p>
<p id="eCC7aE">(That was EVERY video game we had when I was a kid, actually. So, they all basically sucked. But <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2013/1/16/3740422/the-life-and-death-of-the-american-arcade-for-amusement-only">the mall arcade</a> was close to our apartment, and in Oregon there’s a $0.05 returnable deposit on all beer/soda cans/bottles. You’d spend an hour going through the apartment dumpster, lug a big Hefty bag full of stinky cans to the local convenience store, watch the clearly grossed-out clerk count ‘em, and you had money for an hour or so of frustrating entertainment at the mall arcade. Then go look at the lizards in the pet store. A typical summer day, and a good one!)</p>
<p id="m7q9vG">Ryan came through when the Twins were almost cooked against Houston, again in Yankee Stadium, and now here. If the series goes seven games, he’d line up for #7. Which would be on my birthday! But first, the bad odds of…</p>
<p id="e2D9J5"><strong>World Series Game 4: Justin Steele vs. Paddack/Ober.</strong> With Nathan and Jax essentially unavailable.</p>
<p id="kHPV2y">That lineup has no holes. Carew and Mauer are high contact/low power guys for Minnesota, with Correa and Buxton being the reverse. While EVERY Cubs full-time player is good at both.</p>
<p id="MMBHAK">Bellinger gets his revenge for that Game 3 bad call here, with two dingers. The first’s the killer. Paddack, who allowed only 1 hit and had five strikeouts through 4 innings, plunks Pat Wisdom and gives up a single to Yan Gomes with two outs in the fifth. I bring in Thielbar. Bellinger hits his 3-2 pitch to Target Center.</p>
<p id="JxFW9l">He tacks on a solo shot off Ober in the 8th, but it’s adding insult to ineptitude, since the Twins’ offense is even more punchless this time against Steele (who again has no punchouts). Twice, the Twins have runners on second and third with one out (in the third after a Sandberg error, in the fourth on a Morneau double); they go 0-4, with only a Lewis groundout providing the sole Twins RBI.</p>
<p id="1PkWQ0">Futility watch: Mauer, 1-3, now hitting .183. Correa, 2-3, .167. Hunter, 0-4, .117. That’s for the WHOLE PLAYOFFS, not just this series. I’m tempted to start Buxton, Castro, and Jeffers, just because.</p>
<p id="RFuTll">The Twins haven’t had a homer in the last three games.</p>
<p id="dCqeL3">I’ll play Game 5, because it’ll be Bert. But this has become a bit of a chore. The Cubs’ pitching is making this like <a href="https://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/MIN/2011.shtml">one of those seasons</a> where the Twins were regularly starting guys like Drew Butera and Brian Dinkelman and even if I eased up the difficulty settings, they STILL couldn’t hit.</p>
<p id="SHsvw7"><strong>World Series Game 5: Bert vs. Marcus Stroman, Metrodome.</strong></p>
<p id="gdGAg1">With the Twins’ trade <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/29/24055189/minnesota-twins-trade-jorge-polanco-seattle-mariners-anthony-desclafani-justin-topa-gabriel-gonzalez">of Polanco yesterday</a>, he’s definitely starting tonight, as this’ll be the last time I get to use him in a video game. Buxton in center, and Jeffers catching. Hunter flailing away annoys me, and Joe doing so reminds me of times he was hurt.</p>
<p id="Jh8688">My one consoling thought: almost none of the classic Cubs in this game ever reached the World Series (Soriano did, as a Yankee). So their digital selves get to be happy.</p>
<p id="LYnrZF">Guess who from this game WAS on that 2016 Cubs championship team? You’ll never guess. And I didn’t know, either.</p>
<p id="btwZxR">Joe Nathan. He pitched <a href="https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/gl.fcgi?id=nathajo01&t=p&year=2016">in three games</a> for the Cubs that year. Then they traded him, so I doubt he got a postseason share, alas.</p>
<p id="KYPtti">So... how do the bench Twins hit? Mostly, Not Well. Jeffers GIDPs with two on and no out in the eighth, and the Twins down 4-2. Buxton’s defense saves one run, while his offense loses the Twins 100 million runs. Polanco is 0-everything…</p>
<p id="I55pqm">Until the 10th! Mr. James says “<a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2021/4/12/22378373/a-list-of-30-terrible-things-that-are-still-better-than-mlb-extra-innings-rules-satire-humor-disdain">f**k Manfred extra-innings runner</a>,” so it helps when Polo leads off with a hit and advances to third on a one-out Carew single. The Cubs go to LHP Jordan Wicks, and I bring in Correa to hit for Julien. He grounds into what should be a <a href="https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/minnesota-twins/carlos-correa-is-flirting-with-history-r14957/">patented Correa DP</a> — but, SO DUMBLY, the CPU 1B decides to throw home. This gets Polanco, but the extra time it takes to apply the tag means Correa beats the return throw to first. And then, boom! Lewis brings Carew home. Walkoff win! (No Kirilloff upending the Gatorade barrel.)</p>
<p id="v9Nf35">That dumb CPU 1B? “Wisdom.”</p>
<p id="z4iCS3">Wisdom had kicked off the Cubs' big late go-ahead rally. He was stoopid at the wrong time, though! And it cost Chicago the clincher.</p>
<p id="mUIouv">Comeback homers from Julien in the 8th (off Bruce Sutter) and Kepler (off Lee Smith) in the 9th to tie the game — Kepler’s into the upper deck, above the Baggie.</p>
<p id="m3wUXQ">That looooong 6th inning for Bert means I have to use Moran, Duran, Jax, Nathan, and Stewart. Even if the Twins had lost, it would have been worth it to watch Sosa <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/columns/neyer_rob/1421604.html">swing helplessly</a> at a 102 fastball almost higher than his head. And, for this neat ballkid catch:</p>
<div id="SgMY5E"><div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pmQlsP4_7ws?rel=0" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div></div>
<p id="CUQ1SW">(I've never made a YouTube video before and likely never will again but you can't upload video straight to the SB writing interface so it has to be through YouTube or some such and so once SB dies as all web things do YouTube will probably be around a little longer and the entire e-remnant of my existence will be this shitty slo-mo screencap until YouTube dies, but that's life, we're all nothing in the end)</p>
<p id="Yd7Un7">Anyhoo, Polanco’s staying in until this series is over. Which it will be, back at Wrigley, possibly in...</p>
<p id="AKe00G"><strong>World Series Game 6. López and Prior.</strong> Polanco at third, Lewis at short, Julien in right. Hunter’s back in CF and Mauer catching, suitably chastised by their one-game benching. (Because “sending a message” to veteran players always <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F4413431%2F2023%2F04%2F17%2Fmanager-benches-mlb-player-history%2F&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F2%2F11%2F24065664%2Fmlb-twins-classic-player-video-game-world-series-showdown-joe-mauer-sammy-sosa-joe-ryan-ernie-banks" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">works in real life</a>, right?)</p>
<p id="7DnXvE">Having been so stumped by Prior the last time, I decide to try the strategy hitters have used against tough pitchers since <a href="https://www.sbnation.com/2018/12/1/18119682/the-story-of-baseballs-first-curveball">breaking balls</a> were invented; <a href="https://baseballsavant.mlb.com/games/pitch-type-guess">I guess</a>. This results in a bunch of strikeouts (seven over Prior’s 6.0 innings), but also three runs.</p>
<p id="8Banli">Yes, Prior is pulled for a pinch-hitter in the seventh. This doesn’t work, AT, ALL. Up to that point, Lewis had struck out three times; with the bases loaded, against reliever Jameson Tailon, he does not strike out. 9 Twins bat in the inning. It’s a blowout!</p>
<p id="TLnGMr">Remember how, in López’s last outing, the Cubs didn’t have a swinging strike until the 25th pitch? Try the first, here. And the second. And the third. López throws nine pitches and gets three strikeouts — an immaculate inning. The announcers are suitably impressed.</p>
<p id="E3MkdN">On his 95th pitch, López gets Sandberg to ground out to second. It’s the last pitch of the game; a World Series, two-hit, one-walk shutout. Nine strikeouts.</p>
<p id="AJNlZc">Polanco and Hunter are both 2-4. Mauer’s 1-5, with several fouls into Steve Bartman’s seat. Julien is 4-4; Morneau and Carew have 3 RBI apiece. Even López got a hit! And scored!</p>
<p id="7MRaDf">So, the entire bullpen (even Ober) will be available for...</p>
<p id="5S5PGR"><strong>World Series Game 7: Ryan and Wood.</strong> They’re both perfect through three innings. Carew gets the Twins’ first hit in the fourth, yet he's soon out trying to advance on a bounced pitch.</p>
<p id="8kTTbF">Soriano gives the Cubs their first threat in the fifth, with a two-out double. But he’s batting seventh, and this is the NL. Intentional walk time! Wood hit a homer in the 2003 NLCS; not here. K. We’re still 0-0.</p>
<p id="hDB4s2">Hunter and Polanco lead off the sixth with hits, great! Except Polo’s is a double, and Ryan’s up next with runners on second and third. He can’t bunt now!</p>
<p id="GW4oE8">I decide to <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/33621715/a-little-less-magic-mlb-lose-forever-pitchers-stop-hitting">leave him in</a>; he did ground out the first time. That would score a run here. At 0-2, he fouls one over the 1B’s head…</p>
<p id="3zgJUr">...that bounces on the chalk line! I’m laughing my a** off as both runners score.</p>
<p id="g0Ul1a">Ryan leaves in the bottom of the inning, letting Jax get the final out. 5.2 IP, 1 H, 0 BB, 8 SO, no runs.</p>
<p id="sl33hb">Jax is perfect in the 7th, too. So’s Nathan (against his former team, kinda) in the 8th. Some nerves in the 9th: Lewis airmails an easy groundout over Moneau’s head, putting Sandberg on 2nd with Billy Williams and Sosa due up. Jhoan "<a href="https://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/rembert-explains-the-80s-duran-durans-hungry-like-the-wolf-video/">Hungry Like The Wolf</a>" Duran K’s Williams. One out left.</p>
<p id="qedvvg">Will Sosa swing at high heat in his eyes again? YES! The classic + modern Twins are MEGA CHAMPIONS!</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt=" " data-mask-text="false" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/aeGiBPmjgqCdvf-e7TUTuumHskM=/400x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25273528/MLB_R__The_Show_TM__23_1.jpg">
<figcaption>OK, they’re counting <a class="ql-link" href="https://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/WSH/1924.shtml" target="_blank">the 1924 Senators</a>. I am not.</figcaption>
</figure>
<p id="MNXsSR">Julien had big hits in two of the wins, but was an 0-fer in Games 3 and 7. So... your MVP of the Series is Ryan: 12.2 scoreless — with 2 RBI! MVP of the playoffs is Morneau, with his 1.127 OPS against pitchers past and present. Mauer gets the Duds award; <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2011/6/24/2239667/joe-mauers-milk-power-rankings">too much partying</a> after his HOF news. And Polanco gets special mention for key hits in games 5 and 7, after his real-life departure.</p>
<p id="uwtz2w">Now the real Twins can try to end their playoff streak of 21 seasons without reaching the Championship Series round; that’s longer than every team except Seattle (last reached in 2001), Cincinnati (1995), and Pittsburgh (1992). Yes, the Twins haven’t done it since Bush II, and Pittsburgh hasn’t since Bush I.</p>
<p id="uknwAr">Could all four reach the championship series round this year? <a href="https://www.fangraphs.com/standings/playoff-odds">FanGraphs says “unlikely.”</a> But anything can happen, as Matt Monitto <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2019/12/22/21030657/replaying-1965-world-series-strat-o-matic-game-1-don-drysdale-mudcat-grant-twins-dodgers-go-dad">showed us with</a> his less digital, more human (in the best way) imaginary Series. Even in real life, sometimes Philip Humber pitches <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/philip-humber-perfect-game-unlikeliest-in-mlb-history">a perfect game</a>. You never know, until you do.</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/11/24065664/mlb-twins-classic-player-video-game-world-series-showdown-joe-mauer-sammy-sosa-joe-ryan-ernie-banksJames Fillmore2024-02-01T08:00:00-05:002024-02-01T08:00:00-05:00The choicest delectable baseball-ish links for you
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<img alt="2014 Major League Baseball T-Mobile All-Star FanFest" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/ppKp_MAcfAuYZ6FWI6vsOd2izGM=/0x971:3578x3356/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73103038/452039538.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>Bears only come out of hibernation if they’re starving, and this man was soon devoured. | Taylor Baucom/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>Once again, the Hosken Powell Memorial Link Dump lives on, so that overflowing browser windows I have open can die.</p> <p id="gwVh7K">At the recent TwinsFest, both <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5231982%2F2024%2F01%2F28%2Ftwins-byron-buxton-center-field-3%2F%3Fsource%3Dfreedailyemail%26campaign%3D601983&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F2%2F1%2F24053112%2Fmlb-pohlad-construction-companies-dominican-players-ages-joe-mauer-trevor-hildenberger-shohei-ohtani" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Byron Buxton</a> and <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5233609%2F2024%2F01%2F29%2Ftwins-carlos-correa-injury-recovery%2F%3Fsource%3Dfreedailyemail%26campaign%3D601983&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F2%2F1%2F24053112%2Fmlb-pohlad-construction-companies-dominican-players-ages-joe-mauer-trevor-hildenberger-shohei-ohtani" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Carlos Correa</a> said that they feel physically fantastic. Since plantar fasciitis is easier to recover from than knee surgery, I’d give Correa better odds, but we all hope the best for them both.</p>
<p id="6rVWHD">Two members of Congress have <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/jan/27/gambling-addiction-bill-treatment-online-sport-betting-andrea-salinas">proposed a law</a> which would mandate that some of the taxes collected on sports gambling must be devoted to gambling addiction treatment. Naturally, the gambling companies would prefer to pay no taxes at all.</p>
<p id="jo8aAf">Carron J. Phillips (at <a href="https://franklycurious.com/wp/2019/11/19/deadspin/">what’s left of</a> <em>Deadspin</em>) is frustrated by <a href="https://deadspin.com/hbo-real-sports-bryant-gumbel-1851114791">the ending of</a> HBO’s <em>Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel</em>, and the near-total absence of serious sports journalism on TV. It wasn’t hard to see coming, once <a href="https://awfulannouncing.com/espn/the-cancelation-of-the-standalone-outside-the-lines-makes-you-wonder-about-the-future-of-journalism-at-espn.html">ESPN canceled</a> <em>Outside The Lines</em>.</p>
<p id="C1tT9h">Several people wrote about the death of <em>Sports Illustrated</em>. Thoughtful author Dave Zirin <a href="https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/sports-illustrated-layoffs-iconic-magazine-end-of-era-rcna134820">did here</a>, and <em>Awful Announcing</em>’s Jesse Pantuosco <a href="https://awfulannouncing.com/si/sports-illustrated-ai-controversy-sports-journalism.html">did here</a>. The Pantuosco article notes that <em>SI</em> has moved to using basically unpaid writers like SB Nation does, calling them “typo-ridden listicle factories specializing in mindless clickbait.” Most SB writers I’m familiar with aren’t doing clickbait for little/no money, they’re writing what they want to because they like writing. *and typo-ridden my buth</p>
<p id="cgwRQS">Seth Myers (!) breaks down the weird financial maneuvers that helped torpedo <em>SI</em>:</p>
<div id="MLJWqs"><div style="left: 0; width: 100%; height: 0; position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xw2L6D6Wiqc?rel=0&start=86" style="top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0;" allowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" allow="accelerometer; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share;"></iframe></div></div>
<p id="8b2d6r">(Usually this show’s at its best with “<a href="https://youtu.be/Z8ohlf3aI6U?si=Bp_-GC0mtmohXYrj">Corrections</a>” and “<a href="https://youtu.be/3M33Wnt_hrs?si=HRzi55fRBwolXCea">Jokes Seth Can’t Tell</a>,” so this was a nice surprise. The clip has some adult themes, the language is PG.)</p>
<p id="vFqpMJ">A famous <em>SI</em> writer Pantuosco mentioned, Tom Verducci, <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/other/baseball-hall-of-fame-voting-takeaways-joe-mauer-carves-unique-place-in-history/ar-BB1hakgf">shared his thoughts</a> on the <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/23/24048456/joe-mauer-becomes-seventh-twin-to-be-inducted-into-baseball-hall-of-fame-minnesota-mlb">HOF inductees</a>. He quotes the <em>Star-Tribune</em>’s Dan Barreiro, who believed the Twins were being cheap by not drafting Mark Prior: “The Twins passed on the best player in the amateur draft. They blinked, they surrendered, they choked, they conceded.” Just a reminder how bad most paid sports columnists are.</p>
<p id="hEm5Vr">Patrick Reusse, who can be good when doing Minnesota sports history, wrote <a href="https://www.startribune.com/joe-mauer-st-paul-baseball-hall-of-fame-minnesota-twins-patrick-reusse/600338009/">this appreciative piece</a> remembering Mauer’s fairly humble roots; his family was pretty blue-collar. Reusse notes that some <em>Star-Tribune</em> commenters might consider Mauer “soft” or “overpaid.” Reusse fails to mention that some of his colleagues did the same.</p>
<p id="ddy5oF">One of the funnier Twins I remember, Matt LeCroy, once pilfered a Joe Mauer game jersey, and he tells Byung-Ho Park he's <a href="https://www.mlb.com/twins/news/matt-lecroy-has-one-of-joe-mauer-s-first-twins-jerseys">glad he did</a>. LeCroy’s now managing the Red Wings in Rochester, FYI.</p>
<p id="f7er9A">From the dusty digital archives, here's an <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2019/6/17/18680727/the-case-against-joe-mauer">older TwinkieTown FanPost</a> by then-community member dwintheiser arguing against Mauer being in the HOF. As "Tommy John" Gorsegner put it, "I don’t agree with this fanpost, but it’s well researched, and I believe all opinions should be heard."</p>
<p id="dpcF9O">Marcos Bretón of <em>The Sacramento Bee</em> <a href="https://www.sacbee.com/opinion/article283586228.html?deviceId=10CDA92A-B2BA-4A24-AE88-569D06EED2C8&tempKey=value">angrily describes</a> how he got slammed on social media for his HOF ballot (he voted for Adrián Beltré and Carlos Beltrán). You can say “well, don’t be on social media, then,” but many newspapers <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq2_wSsDwkQ&pp=ygUcbGFzdCB3ZWVrIHRvbmlnaHQgam91cm5hbGlzbQ%3D%3D">require their writers</a> to generate a certain number of social media posts per day.</p>
<p id="h9JdAI">In what could be considered clickbait, <em>The Athletic</em> did <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5139138%2F2023%2F12%2F15%2Fshohei-ohtani-greatness-stories-mlb%2F&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F2%2F1%2F24053112%2Fmlb-pohlad-construction-companies-dominican-players-ages-joe-mauer-trevor-hildenberger-shohei-ohtani" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">a piece about</a> what other MLB players think of Shohei Ohtani. (Paywall, but not in “reader view” on your desktop.) Yet they led it off in an unusual way, by talking to our old friend, Trevor Hildenberger. Hildy remembered how, after a brief, mediocre appearance in a Twins loss, he was mobbed by Japanese baseball reporters.</p>
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<p id="h3cQfi">“One of the coolest things about playing professional sports,” Hildenberger said, “if you’re not going to be making generational wealth or winning championships, you get to compete against the best in the world. The best of your time. The best ever.” </p>
<p id="xsPvz1">Soon after Ohtani signed for $700 million, he logged on to social media and <a href="https://twitter.com/t_hildy/status/1733590313359364561?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1733590313359364561%7Ctwgr%5Ecedb3bdc0be1449316f3073f8750ec0e6a58d3d8%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mlb.com%2Fnews%2Fmlb-players-react-on-social-media-to-shohei-ohtani-s-contract">posted about</a> his claim to fame. </p>
<p id="q01hfO">“Congrats to the best player on Earth. I’ll always remember our battles over the years (1 AB, 1 pitch, he homered).” </p>
<p id="F8KvTX">The post went viral. </p>
<p id="4FGtyy">“I’ll be rooting for him the rest of his career,” Hildenberger said. “I hope he hits 10,000 home runs and strikes out every player he faces. Just so when he goes into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot, I can be like, ‘Yeah he took me deep.’”</p>
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<p id="RJ9IhW">In an article that’s definitely clickbait, <em>ESPN</em> <a href="https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39378335/minnesota-vikings-twins-wild-timberwolves-fans-suffer-heartbreak">mentioned the many ways</a> Minnesota men’s sports fans are just so long-suffering. I feel your pain, folks, but you don’t <a href="https://media.tenor.co/images/651488b103d1199a2ebd583630a94d64/raw">have iconic GIF</a>s of TWO TIMES your <a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/nba-basketball-shaq-shaquille-oneal-3oGNDrC5yFMMN0bLbi">team got crushed</a> by NBA legends. </p>
<p id="uQ59fH">Speaking of fans who have it worse, Athletics Nation’s JToster describes how the A’s will <a href="https://www.athleticsnation.com/2024/1/6/24027123/elephant-rumblings-oakland-athletics-fulfill-requirements-to-stay-on-revenue-sharing">still be getting</a> revenue sharing money from MLB. Why are other owners approving a (<a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2024/01/25/20875/as-owner-speaks-in-vegas-casts-more-doubts-on-stadium-design-location-funding-entire-move-from-oakland/">still not finalized</a>) move that costs some of them money? Because it’s all about sending a message to cities like Oakland; give us billions more than just a stadium, or else. In the NBA, arrogant butthead owner Mark Cuban recently gave the game away, <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/sports/mark-cuban-explains-sold-majority-stake-dallas-mavericks-rcna131499">explaining that</a> he sold the Dallas Mavericks to casino owners because “the advantage is what you can build” and “you grow your revenue base and you’re not dependent on things that you were in the past.”</p>
<p id="4NGhkq">Neil de Mause <a href="https://www.fieldofschemes.com/2024/01/24/20864/lies-damn-lies-and-stadium-subsidy-justifications/">reminds us</a> for the zillionth time that whenever someone claims a stadium subsidy “pays for itself” with tax revenue, that claim is a baldfaced lie. Primarily (but not solely) because entertainment spending on sports is entertainment spending that would have happened anyways, on restaurants, movies, concerts, and so on. We don’t generally need to provide billions in subsidies for these things, and we collect taxes on them just the same.</p>
<p id="KEiHxO">A’s fans, BTW, are trying to <a href="https://www.athleticsnation.com/2023/12/18/23927970/elephant-rumblings-opening-day-boycott-taking-shape">put together</a> an Opening Day boycott with this neat graphic image:</p>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Wow, y'all are really hitting that donate button hard!<br><br>Help us make March 28th 2024 look like this<a href="https://t.co/LFZlfnXXp9">https://t.co/LFZlfnXXp9</a> <a href="https://t.co/YHQyfBecVa">pic.twitter.com/YHQyfBecVa</a></p>— Hal the Hot Dog Guy (@AsHotDog) <a href="https://twitter.com/AsHotDog/status/1736155492177871012?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 16, 2023</a>
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<script async="" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
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<p id="FkYdPI">Pinstripe Alley’s Sam Chapman looks <a href="https://www.pinstripealley.com/2024/1/27/24051867/yankees-trade-history-minnesota-twins-donaldson-urshela-kiner-falefa-sanchez-knoblauch">at the history</a> of Twins/Yankees trades, including some you may not remember. Chapman doesn’t like Josh Donaldson any more than most of you do, but he did like Aaron Hicks. (Who the Angels <a href="https://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2024/01/angels-agree-to-deal-with-aaron-hicks.html">just signed</a> for the league minimum, maybe the Twins shoulda considered it.)</p>
<p id="bifk1Q">A.J. Pierzynski <a href="https://puckettspond.com/posts/aj-pierzynski-blasts-minnesota-twins-after-jorge-polanco-trade-01hngaa5hfmq">didn’t like</a> the <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/29/24055189/minnesota-twins-trade-jorge-polanco-seattle-mariners-anthony-desclafani-justin-topa-gabriel-gonzalez">Polanco trade</a>. A.J. likes to be mad about stuff.</p>
<p id="BXSmZ6">On the dark side of sports, Bob Nightengale <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/no-longer-welcome-in-baseball-omar-vizquel-speaks-for-first-time-since-lawsuit-exclusive/ar-AA1mgZjC">profiles former</a> Sox star Omar Vizquel, once accused of crimes so heinous I will not mention them here. Should Vizquel have the opportunity to tell his side of things in a prominent platform like <em>USA Today</em>? That’s a good question, I don’t have an easy answer.</p>
<p id="e0jTMB">You’ll recall how, some years ago, it came out that teams signing international prospects were sometimes being fooled about their ages. That a 19-year-old might try to pass as 16, for instance. Well, <a href="https://go.redirectingat.com?id=66960X1516590&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheathletic.com%2F5231394%2F2024%2F01%2F27%2Fmlb-age-falsification-identity-fraud-dominican-republic%2F&referrer=sbnation.com&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.twinkietown.com%2F2024%2F2%2F1%2F24053112%2Fmlb-pohlad-construction-companies-dominican-players-ages-joe-mauer-trevor-hildenberger-shohei-ohtani" rel="sponsored nofollow noopener" target="_blank">this disturbing article</a> says it’s now happening in reverse, particularly in the Dominican Republic. MLB teams aren’t supposed to sign or negotiate with players under 16. Some scouts in this article claim that teams are knowingly breaking this rule all the time, and MLB is turning a blind eye. That teams are making deals with kids as young as 12 or 13. It’s Evan Drellich and Ken Rosenthal who wrote this, and they’re very respected sports journalists.</p>
<p id="RCmbWG">(At least MiLB players are getting some slightly better pay now, since they became part of the MLBPA; here’s a <a href="https://tippingpitches.myshopify.com/collections/unionize-the-minors/products/tipping-pitches-unionize-the-minors-t-shirt-asphalt-navy">fun T-shirt</a> from before that happened).</p>
<p id="MduvEs">Sarah Lazare at <em>The American Prospect</em> <a href="https://prospect.org/labor/01-19-2024-billionaire-pohlad-family-accused-of-using-anti-worker-const/">writes about how</a> a real estate firm owned by the Pohlad family is subcontracting to companies that routinely break labor laws to underpay their workers. For example, classifying them as “independent contractors” when they aren’t (and thereby paying no portion of those workers’ Social Security/Medicare contributions).</p>
<p id="WtNmPu">I doubt this is something the Pohlads do intentionally; as far as sports owners go, they’re not too evil. It is the sort of thing where they might be hearing one side from workers’ rights groups, another side from the companies they’re doing business with, and choosing to believe the side that’s saving them money. It'd be worth their time to look into this more.</p>
<p id="FOonXU">I recently watched a heartfelt (if rather repetitive) film, <em>Dreamin’ Wild</em>, written/directed by Bill Pohlad. It’s the story of real-life teen folk-rockers whose parents sunk thousands of dollars into their music careers, but the careers never took off. Decades later, their teen music would gain some critical notice (to my ear <a href="https://www.allmusic.com/album/dreamin-wild-mw0002360508">it’s bland stuff</a>, but OK for teenagers just getting started).</p>
<p id="yIOURZ">What the movie’s clearly about is learning to be grateful for what your parents gave you, whether or not it all worked out the way everyone wanted. You don’t have to be Freud to guess why this subject would resonate with Bill Pohlad (who’s <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0688361/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_2_nm_6_q_bill%2520pohlad">produced many films</a> I respect, and one <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/v2/record/S109C3160260">I deeply love</a>).</p>
<p id="MCAZAn">Well, sir, the workers building buildings for your family’s real estate company are trying to give something to their children, as well. Try to keep that in mind.</p>
<p id="2zTFET">To end on a happier note:</p>
<p id="TOWJVO">This isn’t technically a sport, but it is skilled physical activity. A guy who lives in a small town on the very northernmost part of Lake Superior <a href="https://northernwilds.com/the-snowshoe-art-guy-how-kim-asmussen-brings-winter-to-life/">has been doing</a> insanely great snowshoe art like this:</p>
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<img alt=" " data-mask-text="false" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/sIKlPc5KIpsZMfcpFr6Q3FmqqJA=/400x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25252322/Scarrows_Circles__Design.jpg">
<figcaption>Submitted to <a class="ql-link" href="http://NorthernWilds.com" target="_blank">NorthernWilds.com</a> by Kim Asmussen, the snowshoe artist guy.</figcaption>
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<p id="md9yQk">The guy’s a retired principal, and while sometimes he makes these things with other snowshoe enthusiasts, sometimes he just does it on his own.</p>
<p id="ZY2Lfu">And, if you want to meet him, his little town’s only an eight-hour drive away!</p>
<p id="lS822x">Enjoy the fact that we haven’t had to shovel yet, and catch ya next time.</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/2/1/24053112/mlb-pohlad-construction-companies-dominican-players-ages-joe-mauer-trevor-hildenberger-shohei-ohtaniJames Fillmore2024-01-28T08:00:00-05:002024-01-28T08:00:00-05:00Classic player video game ULTIMATE PLAYOFF SHOWDOWN (vol. 2)
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<img alt="Yankees Derek Jeter was safe at home as Twins catcher Joe Mauer dove for the tag in 5th inning action, 8/20/2011.] Bruce Bisping/Star Tribune." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/4mGX2s-9neh9fUvrqMMhkkHFy0k=/30x0:3546x2344/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73091516/1156556507.5.jpg" />
<figcaption>There were other pictures (like Killebrew on an All-Star photo with Mantle) featuring players from both teams, but this had the most Visual Drama. (Also, WTF kind of slide is that, Jeter?) | Bruce Bisping/Star Tribune</figcaption>
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<p>Oh yeah, I'm continuing this article series. You don't like it? Go click ads!</p> <p id="Ranikl">To <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/21/24024462/mlb-classic-player-video-game-ultimate-playoff-showdown-mauer-morneau-killebrew-carew-hunter-nathan">recap vol. 1</a>:</p>
<p id="ESjIRh">A widely-popular (<a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/10/24022756/life-baseball-and-video-games-joe-mauer-mlb-the-show">for some people</a>) baseball video game has about 200 historic players you can put on any modern team's "real" roster.</p>
<p id="1CE6Vw">I put most of them on most modern rosters, trimmed those rosters down to 26 guys, and started a 12-team playoff using the current postseason format, with the 12 teams determined/seeded by how the CPU ranked them.</p>
<p id="zJfFei">Your Twins, ranked #3 in the AL, defeated #6 Boston and #2 Houston, and are now up against... who else? The Yanquis, of course.</p>
<p id="recjrk"><strong>ALCS Game 1: </strong><a href="https://www.pinstripealley.com/2023/12/17/24002425/yankees-top-100-players-gerrit-cole-biography-cy-young-ace-free-agent-astros-pirates-prospects"><strong>Gerrit Cole</strong></a><strong> and Blylevn</strong>. New Yankee Stadium. Among our classic Yankees are some guys who had pretty awful experiences. Mickey Mantle’s dad was an <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/12/19/22191263/mutts-dream-dalko-two-baseball-biographies-and-the-trickiness-of-history">abusive alcoholic</a>. Babe Ruth was sent <a href="https://deadballbaseball.com/2012/08/the-field-where-babe-ruth-played-st-marys-industrial-school-for-boys/">to reform school</a> at age seven because his parents couldn’t afford to keep him. Lou Gehrig got f*****g ALS. </p>
<p id="HTM742">Oh, and Alex Rodriguez bought the Timberwolves, with the sale <a href="https://www.canishoopus.com/2023/3/28/23660596/report-marc-lore-alex-rodriguez-purchase-minnesota-timberwolves-nba-minnesota-lynx-wnba">going final this yea</a>r, now that the Wolves are really super-good. So, not ALL the Yankees had terrible life experiences. Unless you count <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-68074818">dating Madonna</a>.</p>
<p id="R9O4EG">(It was thought, by some, that A-Rod bought the Timberwolves in order to move them, since he has no Minnesota ties. This may be true. If so, he’s gonna have to wait awhile, as the TWolves lease at Target Center lasts through 2035, and precedent under a <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/5/24/21269101/harry-crump-the-judge-who-saved-the-minnesota-twins-and-his-amazing-resume">Minnesota court ruling</a> would make that lease a hard one to break.) </p>
<p id="BwCgNs">So, yeah, let’s beat the Yanquis. Who don’t have A-Rod, he’s not in the game. Their ringers are the sad stories mentioned above, plus Jeter, Posada, Giambi (on the bench), Ron Guidry, Goose Gossage and Rivera. </p>
<p id="FgCjF4">Bert reverts to his spectacular first round form: 8.2 IP, 5 H, 0 BB, 11 SO, 1 R. That one run was a nuclear blast from Ruth in the 9th — I kinda knew it was coming, as he’d fouled off the previous pitch at about an infinite exit velocity. </p>
<p id="gmj4Kp">The Yanks’ biggest threat comes in the 4th, down 4-0. No-hit through three innings, they get Jeter to third and Ruth on first with one out; Mantle grounds into a slick 3-6-3 to end it. </p>
<p id="VkvU8k">The Carew/Julien/Lewis top of the order jumps on Cole early, and the fans (quite believably) boo. They (less believably) don’t boo when the Twins add on in the fourth, courtesy of a stupid attempt at a DP by D.J. LeMaheiu that gets nobody out, then a weak grounder from Morneau that scores two. (Really, not Cole’s fault, those things.) </p>
<p id="69M9kJ">Buxton pinch-hits for Julien against lefty Carlos Rodon in the seventh, and makes the game a cinch with a two-run dong. (He stays in left, and Killebrew goes to third; I had Lewis DH for this reason.) Really weirdly, the Yankees CPU skipper brings in Rivera to pitch the 9th (down 6-0!) and leaves down 9-0, thanks to a Moneau dinger. </p>
<p id="eo3SMU">I can’t credit my fingers for blasting Rivera; I simulated the Twins’ at-bats after Bux gave them the 6-0 lead. But I did keep doing the pitching to see if Bert could get a shutout. Not quite! Damn you, John Goodman. (One of my favorite actors, but not in “King Ralph.”) </p>
<p id="Rpe0G0"><strong>ALCS Game 2: Whitey Ford and Joe Ryan</strong>. “Old” (aka 2008) Yankee Stadium. Polanco and Buxton both get starts here, replacing Julien and Kepler. On the Yanqui side, you have the reunion of Mantle and Ford, who were both in a 1984 TV episode titled “Second Base Steele.” <a href="https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0684867/?ref_=nm_flmg_eps_tt_1">Sample dialogue</a>:</p>
<p id="m5TqXO"><em>Remington Steele: I may not have played, Ms. Holt, but I am a keen observer of your national past time. </em></p>
<p id="LDEPX1"><em>Ralph Kelsey: So, you’ll take the case? </em></p>
<p id="1gE4Kr"><em>Laura Holt: I’m sure Mr. Steele will play ball, won’t you, sir? </em></p>
<p id="b0G6nD"><em>Remington Steele: Certainly. When do we kick off? </em></p>
<p id="hPtphq">1980S TV IDEA OF A FUNNY JOKE, RIGHT THERE </p>
<p id="QunH7k">So far, in these playoffs, every classic pitcher I’ve faced has a 99-ish fastball; is that quite realistic? Wasn’t Nolan Ryan considered unusual for having that speed? </p>
<p id="uJF4lq">Whitey Ford is more believable; he’s 89-90. But the Twins don’t make good contact off him. Their first run is a bloop Polanco single which plates Carew (who stole second), and that’s not until the sixth inning. Later, Carew would score again on a wild pitch from Clay <s>Remington Sherlock</s> Holmes. </p>
<p id="FMDeGC">Ryan goes even “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furthur_(bus)">Furthur</a>” than his last game; 6.0 IP, 3 H, 6 SO, 0 BB, 0 R. New York almost gets a run on a Jeter flyout to center, but Torii nails Posada at the plate. Mauer can be heard after the tag saying “I would have scored there, lazy Posada.” (Not really, or if he does, it’s inaudible.) </p>
<p id="3dcpCX">Thielbar, Jax and Duran do the pen duties, Caleb for five outs. The others should be fresh for the middle three games in Minnesota, and only one starter will be either Paddack or Ober. I like these odds. </p>
<p id="5BBh0r">The NL teams remaining, BTW, are Philadelphia and Chicago. So the Twins are guaranteed a <a href="https://northsidebaseball.com/chicago-cubs-guides-resources/ultimate-fan-guide-wrigley-field-chicago/">polite</a>, <a href="https://drunkphilsfans.com/">sober</a>, <a href="https://www.sportingnews.com/us/mlb/news/steve-bartman-incident-cubs-foul-ball/d31f4a61f21aeff64a3504d4">friendly</a> crowd no matter what away games they play. </p>
<p id="S9BOUS">Alex Kirilloff, Willi Castro, and Ryan Jeffers have almost finished reading the complete works of Shakespeare, aloud. </p>
<p id="uPUAqz"><strong>ALCS Game 3: López and Nestor Cortes</strong>. Target Field. It is now, presumably, about 40 degrees in Minneapolis, thereby not cold enough for weird sports fans to paint their bare chests in team colors. (I wonder if EA Sports puts that nipply detail in Madden for Arrowhead Stadium or Lambeau?) </p>
<p id="NUHKbd">What did I say about liking the odds? I don’t, anymore. The Yanquis get López’s pitch count up to 92 in five innings (7 H, 8 SO, 1 BB, 2 R) and that means using a lot of bullpenners. Brock Stewart and Jovani Moran are fine, but Jax, USAF, watches several balls as off they go into the wild blue yonder, with a solo Mantle dong to tie it and sac fly from Posada to give NY the lead. Duran cleans up his mess. Bad Captain Jax! Fie on you! It’s not my fingers’ fault! </p>
<p id="y5RXSX">My actual non-simmed game play against <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2019/1/28/18198731/2019-mlb-hall-of-fame-class-from-a-minnesota-twins-fans-perspective-rivera-mussino-martinez">Very Nice Human</a> I Respect In Life But Hate The <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2011/4/6/2094076/jason-kubel-vs-mariano-rivera">Twins Facing In Baseball</a>, Rivera, is feeble. Three infield pop-ups. The Twins did have a chance at tying it against Gossage earlier, but hit baseballs to the wrong spots, the ones fielders were at. </p>
<p id="tdlC3d">I had to use Nathan to keep it a one-run deficit in the 9th, so that means only Thielbar and Varland will be fresh for the next game. That’s not what you want. </p>
<p id="8PsuE3">I had a tough time against Cortes’s slider, and kept pulling it foul. Byron and Harmon both get dingers off it that are also pulled, yet stayed fair. Barely. </p>
<p id="1u6PK0">Side question: WHY did Populous/HOK design left field to have a big sandstone wall which almost reaches the foul pole, but has that annoying narrow gap between the wall and the pole? Why not just extend the wall a little bit so that any ball hitting the wall is foul, and put the pole on top of the wall? Would it have compromised structural integrity? Would there have been a disaster involving the Budweiser Roof Deck collapsing, and humans drinking terrible beer falling to their doom? Why are foul poles in fair territory anyways? Do we just like the “clang” sound? (I’ll admit, it was very cool when Jim Thome clanged one off <a href="http://www.tribecards.net/2010/09/thome-blasts-longest-ball-at-target.html">the RF flagpole</a> in 2010.) </p>
<p id="tz4HWf"><strong>ALDS Game 4: Paddack and Cole</strong>. Those “<a href="https://www.mlb.com/twins/fans/uniforms/alternate">Twin Cities</a>” uniforms that look like Saints ones. I’m planning on bringing in Ober if Paddack gets into trouble, leaving Bert, Ryan and López available for games 5-7. </p>
<p id="xC5S0s">It works! Kinda! Paddack goes 4 innings, and just gives up a solo homer to Gehrig. He’s hit pretty hard, though; he benefits from some lucky BAbipping and a spectacular catch by Hunter. Also, Gehrig gets caught stealing by Mauer. (A weird CPU decision, as Gehrig did have 102 steals in his career... and was caught 102 times.) </p>
<p id="xGUus5">The Twins tee off on Cole again, with two homers by Lewis (he’s ON FIRE!) and one by Carew (who had 10 fewer homers than Gehrig had steals). A Mauer sac fly makes it 5-1 in the fifth. </p>
<p id="7Lol47">Then the nervous part starts. Ober walks Mantle and Judge makes it haunt with a dong. Bailey’s scuffling, and I’m short on relievers. Use Varland? Against the Yanquis? I have to bring in a tired Jax to face a bunch of righties. </p>
<p id="uct2Sc">And, does Capt. Jax come through! He gets five guys with a “gassed” energy bar. Thielbar goes until he gives up a one-out single to Ruth in the 9th. </p>
<p id="MEHvJs">This leaves Duran, also used last night, to face Mantle and Judge. With a guy on first, and a two-run lead. What’s worse, Judge singles. This brings up <a href="https://www.pinstripealley.com/2023/12/30/24019309/yankees-history-judge-soto-ruth-gehrig-dimaggio-rodriguez-mattingly-maris-mantle-duos">new Yankee Juan Soto</a> (who only had 35 dingers and a .930 OPS last year). But Soto GIDPs! Victory is ours! The “we won” music plays! </p>
<p id="xoXEfw">(It’s U2’s “Beautiful Day” for wins at Target Field, BTW. You can put music cues in this game. And that’s what the Twins’ music director in Target Field’s first season used. The guy was eventually replaced, but he introduced me to <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2022/9/9/23343761/mlb-gamethread-137-cleveland-guardians-at-minnesota-twins">The Baseball Project</a>, for which I’ll always be grateful.) </p>
<p id="6JPMOw">I really did not want a tied series. Now, the Twins just need to win one of three. Yeah, the bullpen is even more toast, now. But we only need one win. It’s possible, right? </p>
<p id="qLtph3"><strong>ALCS Game 5: Bert and Domingo German</strong> (his first appearance in the whole playoffs so far). Metrodome. 1987 unis. But the 1970s “TC” hats, not the 1987 “M” ones (whose only virtue is looking like the <a href="https://phys.org/news/2021-11-people-astrology-tend-intelligent-narcissistic.html">astrological symbol</a> for Scorpio, which is my birthday). </p>
<p id="6aXtYV">Bert threw 120ish pitches last time, so he’s not completely rested yet. Jeter leads the game off with a double. He’s still on second with two outs, when Blylevn bounces a curveball in the dirt. Mauer nails Jeter trying to reach third. Threat ovah, baby. </p>
<p id="qaBI5x">After that, the Highlanders don’t get much going on Bert. He has five strikeouts his first time through the order (Mantle does foul a long ball off the milk carton.) </p>
<p id="4XCXMF">Blylevn is less strikey-outy after that, with only two more in four more innings. But the defense comes through, Mauer involved again. Judge is on first when Soto knocks one off the left-field stretchy-fence, and we’re scoring it 7-6-2 as Correa makes the perfect throw to barely get Judge at home. </p>
<p id="7oxo6s">Meanwhile, the Twins have a helluva time getting anything off German at all. On their second trip through, they start hitting him pretty hard, but not quite hard enough, or in rockets right at guys. Their first run comes with two outs in the 4th, when German plunks Lewis, Morneau singles him to second, and Killebrew loops a duck fart to bring him home. Then Mauer belts a liner 100 MPH... right to second. 1-0. Where it stays for awhile. </p>
<p id="7fZFc7">Remember that All-Star game where Hunter robbed Barry Bonds of a home run? Mantle’s ghost does. He climbs up that fabric wall in center to steal one from Torii. Still 1-0. (Out of a 1-100 scale, the game has Mantle at an 86 defense rating, so he’s darn good.) </p>
<p id="eiUsfm">With a one-run lead in the eighth, is Brock Stewart your first choice? No, obviously not, but it’s him, Moran, Varland, and Nathan available. Everyone else is used up. I’ll need Varland if the game goes into extras, and Nathan can’t pitch two innings, he’s not 100%. </p>
<p id="uTkjae">Stewart it is. And he gets through it. A leadoff single to Posada followed by two harmless flies. The computer says “Manager’s Tip: Pitcher Getting Tired.” (And I thought I was the manager!) Jeter smashes one to short, Correa backhands it, and guns it to first for the out. </p>
<p id="zhj72C">Ninth inning. Still 1-0. Do I replace Killebrew in left? I do, with Buxton, trusting Nathan to shut things down. </p>
<p id="rbQrRM">So of course, it doesn’t work. After groundouts from Gehrig and Ruth, Mantle gets an infield hit. Then f*****g steals second. And Judge cracks a single to deep center. Hunter’s throw is just late. Tie game. The bullpen is gassed. And Killebrew’s out of the lineup. </p>
<p id="FF4hBb"><a href="https://www.radiox.co.uk/features/alanis-morissette-shaming-ironic-not-being-ironic/">Isn’t it ironic</a>, the Yanquis bring in lefty Carlos Rodon to face Julien leading off. I could have moved Killebrew to third for my defensive sub. Polanco provides the PH and is out on a lazy fly. </p>
<p id="VcH8qd">But Lewis singles! And he’s in motion on a Morneau single, so that’s runners on first and third! Buxton’s now batting in Harmon’s spot, and he’s the hardest Twin to double up! </p>
<p id="JsbjPn">He hits a very shallow fly to Mantle. Lewis tags up and goes. Mantle’s throw is perfect... and a split-second late! The Twins are headed to the World Series! </p>
<p id="N5l5Zq">(And really, New York CPU manager, you should have gone with Rivera.) </p>
<p id="6WhHJR">Series MVP? Bert’s 15.2 innings with one run scored were huge, but I have to say Lewis for winning Game 5 with singles and speed. Because Twins fans <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2021/9/14/22674403/cleveland-3-twins-1-we-cant-have-nice-things">can’t have nice things</a>, he’ll certainly have his career derailed by injuries or a neverending sophomore slump or catching aftosa from a swamp gator. In this game, right now, he’s king of the world.</p>
<p id="kb3OXP">On to the World Series! And another 2000+ words, unless I get bored by this! We'll see!</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/28/24051263/mlb-classic-player-video-game-playoff-showdown-joe-mauer-mariano-rivera-royce-lewis-gerrit-coleJames Fillmore2024-01-21T08:00:00-05:002024-01-21T08:00:00-05:00Classic player video game ULTIMATE PLAYOFF SHOWDOWN (vol. 1)
<figure>
<img alt="Kansas City Royals v Minnesota Twins" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/9mNspJ3_igrRSQi03cSt9ksSZJ0=/1728x642:3600x1890/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73073135/98747450.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>These guys and more guys are in this article, or post, or whatever things are called these days, I dunno. | Photo by Bruce Kluckhohn/Getty Images</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>ALL CAPS because that’s how ULTIMATE it is</p> <p id="yqcchv">In a baseball video <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/3/18/23644448/how-i-got-interested-in-mlb-the-show-video-games-literally-shitty-landlords-you-should-own-a-plunger">game I’ve praised</a> many times BUT NEVER GOTTEN A FREE COPY FOR MY EFFORTS, there are various historical players available. And you can put them on any team’s roster you want to.</p>
<p id="OqWZjV">So I did, and decided to have an All-Time Playoff Smackdown. All-Time being relative; there’s only a small number of historical greats to choose from. No <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2018/3/5/17079202/monday-morning-minnesota-miguel-sano-morrison-mauer-twins-mlb-news-mappy-is-harder-than-i-remember">Big Ed Delhanty</a>, and no Ted Williams. Maybe the game company couldn’t get frozen head likeness rights.</p>
<p id="GGNYZt">There’s some players who have multiple versions of themselves. There’s Twins Torii Hunter, and Angels Torii Hunter. Red Sox Ruth, a great pitcher who can hit, and Yankees Ruth, a great hitter who doesn’t pitch anymore.</p>
<p id="vU8PLl">Usually, I only put one version of those players on the team they’re most famously associated with. I did help out some teams who are missing their greatest stars by giving them one version of a doubled-up legend.</p>
<p id="0ekNbh">Since the game has several Negro League players, I debated replacing all the A’s with a Negro Leagues superteam, because <a href="https://www.athleticsnation.com/2024/1/6/24027123/elephant-rumblings-oakland-athletics-fulfill-requirements-to-stay-on-revenue-sharing">f**k John Fisher</a>, but decided not to. I plan to reach the World Series here, and I don’t want to get there rooting against legends who got screwed by racism.</p>
<p id="fJ9JaH">For the most part, I didn’t tweak any assigned player skill atrributes, yet there were some glaring goofs. Blylevn’s top pitch was NOT a slider; I made it a 12-6 curve. Killebrew was rated worse at hitting lefties than righties, that’s wrong. And Carew, who <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2022/12/8/23487444/mlb-minnesota-twins-stolen-base-steal-home-rod-carew-cobb-jackie-robinson-vic-power-ricky-henderson">stole home multiple times</a>, was rated poorly on stealing!</p>
<p id="PYb6uZ">The Twins already ranked #7 overall with the additions of Blylevn, Carew, Hunter, Killebrew, Mauer, Morneau, and Joe Nathan (those are all the classic Twins available, except Chili Davis, and I put him elsewhere). Thereforethus, I let the Nationals have Walter Johnson. It didn’t boost them up to the top 12. (Because their current roster isn’t the best.)</p>
<p id="67FHuh">Yes, I’m using the Manfred 12-team playoff format; it’s the only playoff format the game lets you use. So here’s the AL teams by seeding/rank: NY, HOU, MIN, TEX, BAL, BOS. The NL teams are ATL, PHI, LA, CHC, CIN, SF.</p>
<p id="6p16Jz">I’m using the unis and stadiums that fit the starting pitcher. It’s the historical uni that pitcher wore, in the home stadium he would have pitched in (or a close equivalent). The DH goes back to NL only; unfortunately, there’s no option to turn it off altogether when facing old-timey pitchers.</p>
<p id="HSHHNa"><strong>Wildcard Round, Game 1: Red Sox at Twins, Pedro Martinez and Bert. Metrodome.</strong></p>
<p id="qYfT75">This game featured the first tough roster call. Morneau’s obviously at first and Royce Lewis at third, so Killebrew is in left. Hunter in center. So, Kepler or Buxton in right? I went with Kepler, Buxton as a speed threat sub.</p>
<p id="b63Bxy">Martinez is tough as hell and frustrating to hit. Keep in mind, this pitching staff has Lefty Grove, Warren Spahn, and young Ruth, but Pedro is still the ace. I screw up judging every pitch he throws, and I become annoyed. Yet even when Bert (me) misses with his curveballs, they can’t hit ‘em.</p>
<p id="ZEBVND">In a 0-0 7th-inning tie, Mauer knocks in the first run and advances Killebrew to third with no outs. A Hunter flyout wasn’t deep enough to send him. But it would have been deep enough to send Buxton, if he’d been the pinch-runner. That would have been the smart move. I blame Baldelli. <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/9/21/21449259/twinkie-towns-best-of-ron-gardenhire-humor-satire-and-more">Or Gardy</a>.</p>
<p id="JEquPC">1-0 in the ninth, do you close with Duran or Joe Nathan? It’s the Metrodome, so Nathan for sure. David Ortiz reminds me why the Twins wisely <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/3/12/21175234/mlb-minnesota-twins-david-ortiz-is-the-elephant-in-the-room-prospect-trade-lewis-kirilloff-larnach">lost him for nothing</a> by striking out to end the game. Nathan, sadly, does not blow his lips like an annoyed horse.</p>
<p id="rtxYn8"><strong>Game 2: Target Field. Lefty Grove and Pablo López.</strong> Current Twins unis and goofy old-timey Sox ones. Hey, the starting pitcher gets to choose, and Lefty would want it this way.</p>
<p id="qWqL09">Did Grove throw 100? He does here, and mixes in a sloooow forkball, so he’s perfect through three innings.</p>
<p id="RwOjqW">Carew leads off the fourth with what should be a single, but the dips**t CF dives for it and it rolls to the wall for a triple. Polanco sac flies him home. That dips**t CF? Johnny Damon. This makes me happy.</p>
<p id="25gNGR">López ends up with the better outing; 6.1 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 0 BB, 7 SO. Theilbar faces six Sox (they’re very lefty-heavy) and sets down five of them. Duran gets the rest.</p>
<p id="4od52w">Ortiz goes 0-4 with two Ks and two dribbled grounders to the pitcher. <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2020/3/29/21197830/mlb-minnesota-twins-chose-matthew-lecroy-over-david-ortiz-dh-red-sox-should-still-thank-us">Release that bum</a>!</p>
<p id="sEagzc">In the wildcard round (all non-Twins games are simulated), Texas, the Dodgers, and the Reds are eliminated. I would have re-simulated it until the Dodgers beat the Giants to keep Koufax in the playoffs, but Koufax isn’t one of the classic players available. So, it’s on to...</p>
<p id="RLX4OE"><strong>ALDS Game 1: Bert and 1970s Astros ace J.R. RIchard.</strong> <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2015/9/5/9243863/the-original-field-of-dreams">The Astrodome isn’t</a> in the game as a historic stadium, so I’m going with Toronto’s SkyDome. It’s either that or Tropicana Field, which has a pool of manta rays in the outfield. SkyDome has the Canadian national anthem, so I pick that to piss off all the Texans in the CPU world.</p>
<p id="k5KrxE">Bert is... more hittable this time. After Mauer drives in two runs in the fourth, Bert promptly gives up two homers. One more by Yordan Alvarez in the 6th to make it 4-2. The Twins claw back on a Correa dinger and Harmon RBI to tie it... then Bert’s fourth and fifth moonshots make it 7-4.</p>
<p id="W8p1QX">Why leave him in so long? This time, I blame Tom Kelly. His ghost was pushing me to push Bert, Jack Morris-style. It didn’t work.</p>
<p id="JFt3iO">Think the Twins have a chance down 3 against Billy Wagner? Why would you think that? Your brain is broken. If you now think “Closing Time” is a good song, get an MRI immediately.</p>
<p id="SBPYbl">One thing I noticed in the wildcard round is there’s too many bench players. When your everyday lineup has five all-time Twins hitters plus Correa and Royce Lewis, you’re not going to do a lot of subbing. Willi Castro’s on the bench as a pinch-runner/defender, and Ryan Jeffers as backup catcher. Julien/Polanco and Buxton/Kepler are the platoons.</p>
<p id="1QKe4Z">Alex Kirilloff is the final bench guy, but I think he’ll get bored down there in the dugout. Joining him doing crosswords will be Bailey Ober and Louis Varland, unless some game goes to a bazillion extra innings.</p>
<p id="Ed2Sdq"><strong>ALDS Game 2: López and Verlander. Minute Maid Park</strong> (it’ll always be Enron Field to me). Kepler gets the start over Buxton to break up the RH Hunter/Buxton/Correa trio batting 7-9. Yes, this is a lineup where Correa bats ninth. Playing with ringers is fun.</p>
<p id="b96NL8">If HOF Blylevn got pounded yesterday, it’s future HOF Verlander’s turn today. And <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/11/30/23973543/is-joe-mauer-a-first-ballot-hall-of-famer-minnesota-twins-mlb">a future HOF</a>’s former roommate Morneau provides the pounding; 3-4 with two dongs. (HOF Craig Biggio scores the only Astros run, off Varland; I forgot that young Biggio could really run fast.)</p>
<p id="VUEbvO">López is even better than last time: 6.1 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 1 BB, 8 S0. If there’s a Game 5, he’d be on regular rest. It might be him over Bert, as sacrilegious as that sounds.</p>
<p id="aRM45r"><strong>ALDS Game 3: Chris Paddack and Roy Oswalt. Target Field.</strong> A lot of winter coats and wool caps. The game designers understand what temperature it is in Minneapolis in October; what they don’t realize is that we wear our fall coats then, we don’t wear the winter ones until later.</p>
<p id="UhKU0t">Not much to say about this game, except Oswalt is great and Paddack isn’t. On one swing, Harmon’s broken bat shard goes farther than the baseball does. Mauer absolutely loses a bat into the netting. The Twins have all of four hits until a garbage time 9th inning pointless rally.</p>
<p id="UoGzzc">Paddack is alright the first two innings, then gets blooped and blasted in the third/fourth. Ober comes in and is just blooped. The runs still count.</p>
<p id="OSuWPh">I’ll mention here that my controller is five years old, and the springs are a little broken inside. So getting the controller to work takes very subtle finger digiting. This was difficult as hell when I first shattered my arm in five places back in August. Now, thanks to Medicaid-funded therapy, it’s only moderately difficult. And I can open some jars.</p>
<p id="beIEGF">One of the surgeons (there was a wrist guy, and a shoulder guy, I got TWO surgeons), told me “this is actually one case where we encourage kids to play video games, because it helps regain hand muscle movement.” An excuse to play a <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/10/24022756/life-baseball-and-video-games-joe-mauer-mlb-the-show">baseball video game</a>? It’s therapeutic? YESSSS</p>
<p id="OtXjaT">So part of Paddack being lousy is attributable to my wonky digits. But also part of it is <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/1/14/23555047/mlb-minnesota-twins-chris-paddack-contract-extension-injury-concerns">that he’s Not. Great</a>. Which is why he started this game; I wanted a better option if Game 4 was do-or-die.</p>
<p id="b2sKEX"><strong>ALDS Game 4: Joe Ryan and Richard again, on short rest.</strong> Unfortunately, <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/6/23/23771555/new-joe-ryan-x-grateful-dead-t-shirts">Ryan’s Grateful Dead shirts</a> aren’t available.</p>
<p id="RtwuM0">I think he must have had one under his jersey, because Ryan was Truckin’ in this game. Remember how, in the real <a href="https://www.twinkietown.com/2023/10/12/23913816/mlb-minnesota-twins-astros-3-twins-2-heartbreak-alds">recent Game 4</a>, Ryan was given one turn through the lineup, then yanked? Well, facing his first nine batters here, Ryan gets five strikeouts and four easy groundouts. He’s staying in. He finishes at 5.2 IP, 1 R, 2 H, 0 BB, 7 SO.</p>
<p id="PIw1OX">Have a day, Harmon. 3-5 with a homer, 4 RBI (his 10th of the playoffs). Morneau doesn’t homer, but drives in his 11th. Richard gives up five runs overall.</p>
<p id="nLkZpz">It gets a little dicey in the seventh, after Brock Stewart hits a guy, Caleb Theilbar walks one and allows an infield hit, and this loads the bases with one out. A grand slam would tie it... but, we do have Joe Nathan. Nobody scores. The Twins maul Houston’s bullpen, and the final’s 11-1.</p>
<p id="KeJ3Ub">It’s back to <strong>Houston for Game 5: López and Verlander.</strong> López’s little energy bar thingy isn’t at 100%, but he’s killing it, and after a rest day everyone’s available in the bullpen. Besides, New York eliminated Baltimore, and I want a HOFer to open at Yankee Stadium.</p>
<p id="yR6FHN">To the Astros’ credit, they make López work hard. He’s gassed after 80 pitches in 4.2 innings, giving up a solo homer and several warning track flies. He leaves the last 13 outs for the bullpen...</p>
<p id="23FYkX">...with the Twins up 9-1. Probably the Twins’ real-life rookies haven’t seen Verlander much, but I’ve been pushing buttons against him (in this game) since 2010, and unless he changes hands or goes submarine I’m very used to his style. He leaves after going down 5-0 in the fifth, and “relief pitcher” José Urquidy doesn’t get out of the inning.</p>
<p id="KZNkYk">Two homers in this game for Lewis, one each for Morneau and Kepler. Those guys are your First 7 Games mashing stars, while Hunter, Mauer and Correa have been spotty (except on defense, of course). Methinks they will be less spotty as we go. SSS and all that.</p>
<p id="Y9Hrlu">This article’s long enough! On to virtual New York, which is like real New York except you can have Babe Ruth without horses pooping next to Model Ts.</p>
<p id="4r9YsW">Until next time...</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/21/24024462/mlb-classic-player-video-game-ultimate-playoff-showdown-mauer-morneau-killebrew-carew-hunter-nathanJames Fillmore2024-01-14T08:00:00-05:002024-01-14T08:00:00-05:00A book about the things wrong in kids’ sports, and how to fix them
<figure>
<img alt="Little League Baseball: Feature. Team po" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/vcVePbZLQsPZW_OA0jx4aSqRZgo=/0x0:3072x2048/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73053750/50727122.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>These genetic experiments are intended to replace you. I just described every child ever born. | Photo by John M. Burgess//Time Life Pictures/Getty Images</figcaption>
</figure>
<p>I found this interesting, and I’m not a parent myself. (Mrs. James is a teacher, though, so I get ALL the diseases schoolkids pass around.)</p> <p id="HbgOUk">Regular physical activity is good for you. We all know this, because our screens keep telling us so.</p>
<p id="vcWOFZ">And sports are one way to engage in physical activity. A way that, for kids, can teach the values of teamwork, dedication, how to be gracious in victory or defeat. Many parents want their children to play sports for these lessons, and to encourage less phone time, more active time.</p>
<p id="gDRjJq">But something’s gone wrong with youth sports. Most kids who take up team sports quit them by their teens. The competition is more intense than ever, as (for many kids and parents) are the financial and time investments. The result of these pressures is that, often, youth sports are hurting kids more than helping them.</p>
<p id="p9NRUU">And Linda Flanagan wants to explain how this happened.</p>
<p id="NIyoGY">Flanagan, a longtime kids’ running coach, is the author of <em>Take Back The Game</em>, a recent book subtitled “How Money And Mania Are Ruining Kids’ Sports – And Why It Matters.” That subtitle is a handful to type, but the book itself is very approachable. And the subtitle does sum up much of what Flanagan has to say, without revealing the plot twist that might turn off some potential readers. That, basically, what’s harming kids is their overzealous parents.</p>
<p id="gj7nEh">Flanagan had to learn this the hard way; she did it, herself. As a former school star and competitive adult distance runner, she naturally wanted her kids to participate in sports. Two of them weren’t interested. Her youngest son was, and became very good at basketball. Flanagan loved seeing this, and loved thinking that her son was thriving because she was such a supportive parent.</p>
<p id="4DYDA3">Until she pressured him to attend a “basketball camp” for kids who hoped to gain college scholarships. Her son hated it. She didn’t understand why, at first – wasn’t it a great opportunity? Shouldn’t they pay $150 for a video record of his best moments on the court? “I’m not going back there,” he told her. “I’m nowhere near as good as those kids, and no one was interested in me.”</p>
<p id="y4muud">"Here, finally, I shut up and listened,” Flanagan writes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p id="zg8sCs">Now I had clarity. My son had thrived in a competitive high school sport. He’d developed into a talented basketball player … He’d built close friendships with teenagers he’d otherwise not have known. And he’d grown into a responsible young man, serving as a team captain, assisting the coaches during the summer, and cultivating his already well-developed self-discipline. And it was still <em>fun</em>. Wasn’t that <em>precisely</em> what high school sports, indeed all youth sports, were supposed to be?</p>
<p id="3Nuywh">It took me years to acknowledge how much my son’s athletic career mattered to <em>me</em>, how much his star performances, when he had them, shored up my ego. And while the desire for social standing might be understandable, it’s not admirable.</p>
</blockquote>
<p id="Jc4F6Q">This passage comes fairly early in <em>Take Back The Game</em>, and it hugely impressed me. It’s very different from the “psycho dad screaming at ump during Little League game” cliché we’re all familiar with. (Yes, those types exist; Flanagan has met them, and my brother did when he was a volunteer Little League ump in high school.) Flanagan’s talking about something else. She benefited from youth sports, she wanted that for her children, and still somehow ended up squeezing all the fun out of it for her son.</p>
<p id="KMmsSA">And Flanagan realizes why she fell into that trap. She talks to sports sociologist Jay Coakley, who believes that 1980s “greed is good” worship of individual success created a pressure for parents to see their children excel. Sports are one measurable way for them to do so. Spending a great deal of time and money on your child’s athletic career, Coakley says, sends “the message that ‘I’m a better parent than you.’” As Flanagan adds, “status is an awkward and delicate subject. No self-respecting adult wants to be accused of hungering for it … and yet the silent yearning for it seems to shape our thoughts and actions.”</p>
<p id="3fgeRj">The results of this parental “mania” (per the subtitle) have been disastrous. For one thing, it’s harming kids physically. Year-round training for one sport is causing a frightening rise in severe injuries, which several doctors describe to Flanagan as an “epidemic” – such as an orthopedic surgeon talking about UCL tears in 12-year-olds. There's ACL tears in soccer and basketball. Stress fractures for runners. Lower bone density for girls (which can increase their chances of bone decay as adults). We all know about concussions in football; the worst increase in concussions now is coming from girls’ volleyball. (Not what I would have guessed.)</p>
<p id="Wbn4EW">And while those injuries are mostly a risk to the most intensely-training young athletes, that very intensity is driving kids away. <a href="https://tylerpaper.com/sports/why-do-70-percent-of-kids-quit-organized-sports-by-age-13/article_b7bab299-c907-5c4a-b958-5978885f6464.html">One study found</a> that 70 percent of kids who try youth sports have quit for good by age 13, while <a href="https://projectplay.org/news/kids-quit-most-sports-by-age-11">another study said</a> it was by age 11. And in both studies, kids quit because it was no longer fun. While government guidelines aim for a youth sports participation level of 63%, only Minnesota and Massachusetts <a href="https://www.leagueoffans.org/2023/12/13/our-young-people-need-sports-more-than-ever/">have met this mark</a> – and interest is dwindling among <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/as-girls-high-school-hockey-numbers-drop-schools-are-joining-forces/">some Minnesota students</a>.</p>
<p id="eHjzPA">Parents sometimes put unreasonable demands on coaches. Flanagan describes an incident where she accidentally didn’t schedule her team’s appearance at a prestigious track meet; she apologized to the team, modeling how adults should own up to their mistakes. And scheduled another meet that would be just as challenging athletically. Well, some parents called for her head. Didn’t Flanagan realize that her failure might have cost their daughters a college scholarship? (In those parents' minds, at least.)</p>
<p id="PvVOW9">Other coaches, unfortunately, use discredited or even abusive methods to get “results” from their players. (Partially, this is due to a lack of training, as many coaches are volunteers.) Fat-shaming, forcing girls to wear skimpy uniforms, and using screaming/cruelty as motivators are not, ever, an effective way of instructing children. (Unless your goal is teaching them how to be terrible adults.)</p>
<p id="xAUAxB">Naturally, as parents have become more invested in kids’ sports, the youth sports business (I want to say, "racket") has been utterly wallowing in money. Between specialized camps, private coaching, and the ever-soaring price of equipment, by 2019 the youth sports “industry” was worth over $19 billion. (Last year, <a href="https://www.wintergreenresearch.com/post/youth-sports-market-grows">over $39 billion</a>.) The average family spends about $600 a year on each child athlete; the richest families, over $1000 a month. There are even websites that make money by charging a fee to see national rankings of youth teams and individual players.</p>
<p id="y8gr3e">(Incidentally, I’ve heard older people complain that kids “aren’t into” traditional “American” sports anymore, and “they’re all playing soccer now.” Well, with education cuts putting more sports costs onto parents, soccer’s just about the cheapest sport! All kids need are cleats and a ball!)</p>
<p id="sLDcdd">What, then, can be done to make sports good again for kids, and less stressful for their parents? Flanagan has several suggestions, from the simple to the idealistic.</p>
<p id="LuHTb0">One is just to let kids play. Let them organize their own outdoor activities with other kids in the neighborhood. I did when I was little, and I was scrawny & asthmatic. I still had fun, still had triumphs and failures, high-fives and bitchy kid arguments over rules, ending in either grudging consensus or going inside to watch cartoons.</p>
<p id="vAd8gN">While some of this is less common now for practical reasons (some neighborhoods simply don’t have many kids), much of it is based on parental fears that unsupervised children are at great risk of harm from strangers. This is false. Only 0.1 percent of missing children are abducted by strangers (the other 99.9% are adults the child knows, and children are very rarely abducted overall). The top causes of death for kids in 2020: guns, car crashes, drug overdoses, accidental poisoning, cancer, suffocation, drowning, congenital conditions, heart disease, fires, chronic respiratory disease. “If it was safe enough for you to play unsupervised outside when you were a kid,” <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/04/14/theres-never-been-a-safer-time-to-be-a-kid-in-america/">writes one author</a> who Flanagan quotes, “it’s even safer for your own children to do so today.”</p>
<p id="C2FxZO">(Pedestrian deaths from cars <a href="https://www.vox.com/23784549/pedestrian-deaths-traffic-safety-fatalities-governors-association">ARE rising</a>, due to cars being larger, which increases their braking distance. It's important to teach children traffic safety. We played some games in our apartment complex’s parking lot, and every kid was on the watch for cars coming in or backing out. If somebody spotted one, they’d dramatically yell, “CAR!” and we’d all clear the lot until the danger had passed.)</p>
<p id="BiQjk4">Some other suggestions Flanagan lists:</p>
<ul>
<li id="mbufHf">Start later. “Delay organized youth sports for as long as you can. Wait until the child begs to do them. Or even hold off until the child can largely take responsibility for the activity herself – sign-ups and transportation included.”</li>
<li id="btNTbw">Know the coach. “Look for coaches who are not into sports but are into parenting, because they have more experience.” (Experience with real kids, not just athletic ones.) Know that when a good coach disciplines your kid fairly for something like skipping practice, it can be a useful lesson. And tolerate no coaches who are cruel.</li>
<li id="YDkiV9">Miss some games. “Be engaged enough to know the coach, but do yourself and your child a favor … skip the odd game. Model a happy adulthood and cultivate your own interests rather than feed off theirs.”</li>
</ul>
<p id="PwEcmH">And, in her most idealistic proposal, Flanagan wishes we could transform collegiate sports altogether – either giving no admissions preferences to student-athletes, or eliminating college sports completely. “Absent the potential for a leg up in college admissions that colleges dangle before young players, the pay-to-play private sports world would serve little purpose … kids who still wanted to play could return to more casual, low-cost options, on town leagues and local teams. Cost barriers that block lower-income families would fall, and more kids could play.” </p>
<p id="rLlXTI">This sounds extreme, but would it be a bad thing? I’m mystified whenever someone complains that the Minnesota Gophers aren’t doing well enough in football. Surely, the point of our tax dollars going to the University is to properly educate students and further important research?</p>
<p id="SuqZ6x">If the Gophers lost every game for the next 20 years, or did away with the athletics department entirely… but our colleges became famous as the best, most affordable and influential state university system in America, the vast majority of Minnesotans would take that trade.</p>
<p id="g4igxS">(In a case of unintended consequences, Flanagan relates how <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Title_IX?wprov=sfla1">1972's Title IX</a> – which banned sexual discrimination at colleges, paving the way for more women to participate in sports — actually led to a decrease in the number of female coaches for women’s college teams; the number went from 90% in 1972 to 43% in 2014. One reason being that as colleges paid more for coaching salaries, more men got the jobs.)</p>
<p id="snS9AM">Of course, such a change in how colleges approach athletics seems unthinkable right now. And part of that is due to the very nature of what college is about; granting economic advantage. Ivy League schools don’t want student-athletes because they're well-rounded individuals. Or even because they’ll help win games. Those colleges want student-athletes because those students are among the most competitive, the most driven. Therefore more likely to make the most money with an Ivy League degree, and more likely to gratefully reward the alumni fund. This is entirely the thought process behind every decision a prestigious college makes.</p>
<p id="fie0qW">Yet change isn’t impossible. Flanagan looks at Tuscarora High School in Frederick, MD. Among over 1500 students, most are non-white, one-fifth have disabilities, and a third are eligible for free (or low-cost) lunches. (The athletic director also runs a summer school for homeless children.) At Tuscarora, anyone who wants to play a sport plays it, at some level, such as intramural leagues; the goal is to make physical activity fun for as many kids as possible. And it seems to be working.</p>
<p id="5E1HS6">Parents with kids who play sports, or who want their kids to discover the fun of sports, should check out <em>Take Back The Game</em>. (It’s available from several Minnestota libraries, <a href="https://hclib.bibliocommons.com/v2/search?query=take+back+the+game&searchType=title">here is one</a>.) Flanagan has many good ideas, and good citations to back them up. There’s information about <a href="https://devzone.positivecoach.org/">useful resources</a> for kids and parents.</p>
<p id="Wnauw5">Ultimately, it’s an interesting book because it’s something Flanagan feels so passionately about. At times she’s wanted to quit coaching; at times she’s been inspired by the good sports can do in kids’ lives. As can learning musical instruments or being in school plays... but never let your kids get into the school paper, I WARN YOU!</p>
https://www.twinkietown.com/2024/1/14/24024623/linda-flanagan-take-back-the-game-a-book-about-whats-wrong-in-kids-sports-and-how-to-fix-itJames Fillmore