Farm Report: Divine intervention, scheduling fence out two games

Triple-A: Rochester Red Wings damp, Pawtucket Red Sox moist

God, following the MLB draft closely, took it literally when Yankees 17th-round draft pick and Rhode Island native Chris Hess decided to celebrate at a Pawtucket strip club, announcing to friends, “OMG, let’s make it rain.”

Of course God takes stuff literally. God dictated one of the world’s all-time bestselling books. A book which heavily influenced the writing styles of Herman Melville and Abraham Lincoln, among countless others, and was probably a primary spur for increasing the number of people who could read. In the English language, God more-or-less invented “literally.”

Also, God is well-known as a Yankee fan (see “resurrection” under “Hicks, Aaron”) so, Chris, watch your words next time.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Chattanooga Lookouts 5, Tennessee Smokies 3

Feel bad for the home fans in this one. Up 3-2 in the ninth inning, Smokies pitching went: Single. Passed ball. Walk. Two-run error. Then, two outs later, another passed ball, allowing Lookouts C Dan Rohlfing to score the insurance run. Clearly, the Smokies are being punished for their hubris in claiming to represent all of Tennessee, rather than merely the greater Knoxville area.

For your Lookouts, T.J. “Hooker” White contributed three hits, LF LaMonte Wade a walk (it’s his thing), and starter Randy (!) LeBlanc 5.1 solid innings. SG Nick Anderson improved his A/TO ratio ERA to 2.00 with a scoreless eighth.

[Box Score]

High-A: NO GAME: All-Star Weekend

Four Miracles were picked for the Florida State League all-star game, to be played today in Lakeland, FL. They are LHP Sam Clay, C Brian Navarreto, PG/3B Chris Paul, and RHP Dereck (son of Pudge) Rodriguez. Paul’s on the DL, so I dunno if he’ll actually show up, but just being nominated is an honor.

[Nada Box Score]

Low-A: Clinton LumberKings 5, Cedar Rapids Kernels 4

Mean Corn starter Eduardo Del Rosario avoided those “crooked numbers,” surrendering a single run in four separate innings, which was enough to waste Cedar Rapids’ early 3-0 lead. All the Kernels runs came courtesy of LF Christian Cavaness’s two-out, bases-clearing first-inning triple; he’d end with three hits on the day. Mega-prospect Jermaine Palacios went 1-5, with five LOB. Get ‘em tomorrow, Jermaine.

[Box Score]

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