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Farm Report: Melville strikes out eleven, moon eats sun

A recap of the Twins' minor league affiliates' results from July 28th, 2017.

James Harden Visits SeaWorld San Diego
When Flipper met Flopper. It’s an NBA joke, don’t worry if you missed it.
Photo by Mike Aguilera/ SeaWorld San Diego via Getty Images

Triple-A: Rochester Red Wings 5, Toledo Mud Hens 1

Bummer night for the good folks in Toledo, as Rochester scored four runs in the tenth inning. They came courtesy of ByungHo Park, Daniel Palka (remember him?) and SS Tommy Field. Tommy Field is 30 years old, looks 12 — tops — and is the kinda guy who should get a September promotion for being nice, but probably won’t, because life is nasty. Rehabbing Byron Buxton got a homer and called Zack Granite three times just to whisper “DOOM” before hanging up.

Tim Melville harpooned eleven hitters, but didn’t get the “win,” so he sucks. Guy who got the win was LHP Mason Melotakis, with two perfect relief innings. He’ll be up before too long.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Chattanooga Lookouts 7, Birmingham Barons 2

Moar strikeouts, you asked? Fernando Romero responded Dolly Parton-style, getting nine in five. New acquisition Gabriel Moya added three more, of the four hitter hitters he faced. On the swingin’ side, 1B/DH Jonathan Rodriguez continued his push for AAA promotion with three hits, including a homer.

This is not Twins-related, but I have to share THE GREATEST PROMOTION IN BASEBALL HISTORY. On August 21st, if you haven’t heard, a strange coincidence will mean the moon lines up right over the sun. (Do NOT look at this without eye protection, like welder’s glasses; sunglasses aren’t nearly strong enough.) In Minnesota, the sun will get only mostly et up by Moon.

In Salem, OR, the sun will get completely et up by Moon, and the Salem-Keizer Volcanoes are playing a baseball game right then. All fans will get safety goggles, and the game will delay for Sun Going Bye-Bye. As their website puts it, “Baseball, Brews, Blackout.” Yeah, you wish you could be there. God knows I do. It’s Lookouts 1B/DH Jonathan Rodriguez’s birthday on 8/21, BTW. Just imagine the lifelong curses that would happen 500 years ago to babies born during an eclipse. Everyone would assume you drank ale with the Devil and could give cows the plague with a nasty look.

[Box Score]

High-A: Ft. Myers Miracle 9, Lakeland Flying Tigers 2

How do you win a game with five hits, none of them homers? Don’t let the other team score. Brady Anderson went 5.2 innings, Andrew Vasquez 2.1, and Sam Clay got the last three outs on Ks. They’re all left-handed. RF Jaylin Davis and impossibly handsome DH/IF Shane Kennedy had two hits apiece.

The Flying Tigers are named partly for their parent club (Detroit, duh) and partly for a local aviation school which taught fighter pilots in WWII. Not exactly WWII; kinda before, actually. The Flying Tigers were something of a guerilla outfit FDR authorized to shoot Japanese planes attacking China. They had way cool shark teeth painted on the front. Check out the Wiki page about them, it’s interesting.

[Box Score]

Low-A: Cedar Rapids Kernels 6, Peoria Racist Nicknames 3

Interesting game/learning experience for SS/IF Joe Cronin. He had a double, a dong, a caught stealing thing, and an error. Slovenly management by hitting coach Brian Dinkelman must have oozed all around, as 3B/OF Trey Cabbage also committed an error to go with his thee hits. Someone has to take the blame here, and I blame The Dink. Heads roll when I’m in charge, I tell ya.

Domenick Carlini scuffled through five innings. Hector Lujan picked up the “save.” I’m always amused by Lujan’s team photo. It looks like he was told “smile” by somebody off-camera and sorta halfway tried, five seconds after getting a text that his landlord found out he has a dog and now he has to look for another apartment.

[Box Score]

Rookie League: Elizabethton Twins 5, Princeton Rays 1, plus Additional Game That Rain Ate

DH/C Colton Waltner, a poet and scholar from Thousand Oaks, CA, where there are not a thousand oaks, hit a homer. 22-year-old LHP Bryan Sammons fanned six hitters, allowing no walks or runs in five innings and 71 pitches. Nice going, Samm I am.

There was a second game, which cursed sky water stopped. Does that mean it gets restarted, or does it resume from the point where it left off? Minor-league rules are perplexing and I’m not paid enough to figure them out. If it is restarted, 2B/IF Jose Miranda and RF Shane Carrier are gonna be cranky, as both launched two-out, first-inning solo dongs.

[Box Score] [Wet Box Score]


Do you have a picture or pictures you took of tractors, farm animals, land, or other equipment you’d like to see us use for a future farm report? We would love your submissions and happily give you and/or your farm full credit and a shout-out.

Please e-mail myjah at Maija.Varda@gmail.com if you are interested, and include the name of who took the photo (and their permission) so we may give the proper photo credits. Rules, people. Obey them.

Photos must be large! We need at least 1800px width. If you’re not sure if it’s big enough, send the picture and I will tell you (TWSS).