Farm Report: Son Of Pudge Is Warrior With Honor

Triple-A: Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders 5, Rochester Red Wings 4

Yeah, it’s time for that song again! You know the annoying earworm*, or ARE YOU EVEN A TWINS FAN? We’re talking Park Bang.

ByungHo couldn’t save the day, though, as reliever D.J. Baxendale got overextended in the eleventh. The home team won, and I can never be too angry about that.

Upcoming Rochester promotions include Batman Night, sponsored by Wesley Gardens Nursing Home & Rehabilitation Center (Alfred works there), and “country star Rodney Atkins” (?!?), “courtesy of 92.5 WBEE, McDonald's, U.S. Army and Cycle Stop.” Had they added a tattoo parlor and liquor store, this would have been perfect. They didn’t, so Red Wings, you failed us.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Biloxi Shuckers 2, Chattanooga Lookouts 0

You know how a baseball game isn’t “official” until five complete innings are played? If not, now you do. I’ve never heard of an MLB game in my fanhood lifetime being called after five innings, but that’s what happened in Biloxi yesterday. Presumably because of rain, although it might have been a swarm of killer mutant gerbils. It’s Mississippi, you never know.

[Box Score]

High-A: Ft. Myers Miracle 7, Bradenton Marauders 1

Derek (son of Pudge) Rodriguez struck out seven guys in five innings, but, alas, half-Klingon Jonny Drozd barfed up the Miracle lead, pitching to eight guys and letting them score five runs. (Drozd’s other parent is human, and can’t spell “Johnny” correctly.)

Not to worry! Marauders reliever Jake Brentz then promptly pitched to nine guys, let Ft. Myers tie the score, and 3B/PG Chris Paul plated your winning run in extra frames. CF Tanner English had three RBIs of his own, responding well after a demotion from Charlotte. Keep chasin’ that dream, Tanner! You’ll get there! Actually, you probably won’t, as most human efforts end in abject failure, but I like to encourage the younglings with lies.

Somehow this image popped up as I was dinking around on the post, and it made me laugh. It’s a mascot with exactly an expression I imagine the underpaid person wearing that costume feels.

[Box Score]

Low-A: Cedar Rapids Kernels 4, Wisconsin Timber Rattlers 2

You wanted another Ed Rosario? You got one! His name’s Eduardo Del Rosario, and he’s a 22-year old righthander for the Mean Corn. (Just turned 22 on Friday, actually, so a belated happy birthday, EDR!) Rosario The Other was fantastic on Saturday, whiffing eight batters in eight innings. Reliever Tom Hackimer picked up the “save,” but I do not wish to praise him, as I’m frustrated he only has 50% of an awesome name.

The offensive stars were LF Christian Cavaness from Missouri, and C Ben Rortvedt from Verona, Wisconsin. Do not look at Rortvedt’s unfortunate numbers for this year, your retinas will be singed.

[Box Score]

*Does anybody know where the overused word “earworm” comes from? I hope, dearly, that it comes from referencing the bug monster in “Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan.” That thing freaked me out me so hard at nine, and I’m a huge believer in the absolute necessity of terrifying children whenever possible.