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Farm Report: Lower levels bash, Rooker continues to mash

A recap of the Twins' minor league affiliates' results from August 25th, 2017.

Chilean Pink Flamingo Chicks Make Debut At San Francisco Zoo
Apparently flamingos also live in rookeries, not just seals. Who knew?
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Triple-A: Buffalo Bisons 2, Rochester Red Wings 1 (11 innings)

Mr. Gonsalves, dance. The apparently not-ready-for-prime-time pitcher did as well as he could, with your old buddies Nik Turley and Michael Tonkin providing four perfect innings of relief thereafter. Then along came Yohan Pino, and...

CF Levi Michael’s homer was it for Rochester scoring goals.

The Red Wings’ site has an ad on it saying “This Old House Is The Safest Place On Earth: 10 Survival Skills Your Great Grandparents Knew (That We Have Forgotten).” Sometimes these ads are placed on sites via straight-up ad space purchase, sometimes they are one of many that might pop up, catered to whomever is looking at the site. (Your computer/phone remembers everything you do on it, and many ads are tailored for you specifically based upon this information.) If this is a catered ad, then somebody tell my mother-in-law’s ghost to stop using my damn desktop.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Chattanooga Lookouts 3, Mississippi Racist Team Name 1

You think by looking at the minor-league box scores twice a week, you’d pretty much know who all the players are. You’d think that, but you’d be WRONG. I’d never registered the name John Curtiss before his much-deserved callup earlier this week. Similarly, I was unaware of RH reliever Cody Stashak, who played his first game at AA yesterday and was terrific; two innings pitched, no hits, no walks, five strikeouts. Before that, the kid had 72 strikeouts in 83.1 innings at Ft. Myers. Not too shabby for a 23-year-old.

The Men With Bats featured 1B Jonathan Rodriguez, 3B/OF T.J. “Hooker” White, and RF Max Murphy, the Pride of Robbinsdale. White knocked in the go-ahead run, Murphy the insurance.

[Box Score]

High-A: Ft. Myers Miracle 14, Charlotte Stone Crabs 2

LF Brent Rooker hit his already 10th home run in 36 games in High-A. I copied this sentence of myjah’s from yesterday and added the number “1” to 9th and 35. This kid is mashing so much, he’ll be caught using some forbidden yak testicle powder by the end of the year. For the Twins can’t have nice things. Also going long dong were CF Alex English and RF Jaylin Davis.

The pitching was one of those planned-split-starts you see in the younger minor leagues a bit. LHP Brady Anderson threw the first three scoreless innings, then LHP Tyler Jay and RHP Tom Hackimer two more apiece. None Stone Crabs didst score until the eighth, and there’s no need to place blame on that, because by then this game was all over but the upopped kernels.

[Box Score]

Low-A: Cedar Rapids Kernels 6, Quad Cities River Bandits 2

Another split start, this time courtesy of LHP Charlie Barnes, RHP Logan Lombana, and RH crime dog Patrick McGuff. Hector Lujan, whose team photo looks like he’s trying very hard to pretend to care about his “employee of the month” picture, allowed two runners in the ninth then promptly said “f this” and got out the next three. The dude’s pitched in about a third of the Miracle’s games, and he has an ERA of 1.41. For those of you not familiar with the newfangled sabermetrical stuff, 1.41 is a really, really good ERA.

1B Lewin Diaz and 2B Travis Blankenhorn both went yard. RF and whacked-knee ice skater Jimmy Kerrigan had a 2-5 day.

For those of you dying to know what the Quad Cities are, Wiki says they consist of Davenport and Bettendorf, IA, plus Moline and Rock Island, IL. It is the largest metropolitan area along the Mississippi River between MSP and St. Louis. So that’s that.

[Box Score]

Rookie League: Elizabethton Twins 12, Bristol Pirates 1

WHOMPPP. You’ll be happy to know Elizabethton was the home team here, nothing wrong with the paying fans having some fun. Dongs stroked courtesy of 2B Carson Crites, who went 4-5 for the game, and IF Ariel Montesino, part of his measly 3-5 outing.

Split starts again, folks! This one was a little odd, in that the second one, Moises Gomez, pitched more innings than the first, Ryley Widell. Possibly because Widell did walk six guys, but that’s what rookie ball is for. He struck out six and allowed just one run. Gomez finished off the last five frames, K-ing seven in the process.

[Box Score]

Do you have a picture or pictures you took of tractors, farm animals, land, or other equipment you’d like to see us use for a future farm report? We would love your submissions and happily give you and/or your farm full credit and a shout-out.

Please e-mail myjah at if you are interested, and include the name of who took the photo (and their permission) so we may give the proper photo credits. If Fillmore uses the photo, though, he’ll just steal it and give you nothing, that’s the kind of guy he is.

Photos must be large! We need at least 1800px width. If you’re not sure if it’s big enough, send the picture and I will tell you (TWSS).