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Farm Report: Six Degrees Of Jake Reed

A recap of the Twins' minor league affiliates' results from August 4th, 2017.

Feature On Milk Farming
I am Intergalactic Quantum Emperor of the Milk People. My name is Moo-on.
Photo by Christof Koepsel/Getty Images

Triple-A: Syracuse Chiefs 2, Rochester Red Wings 1 (Game 1)

Dietrich Enns, recently acquired by the Twins for beloved franchise icon Jamie Garcia, got the afternoon start. He was fine, going the full six innings. Remember: these doubleheader games are seven innings long. Rochester was the visiting team, and lost, so six was all they needed.

Some hot tempers in upstate New York! Syracuse manager Billy Gardner got ejected in the sixth, after arguing that a 6-4 groundout should have been a 6-4-3 double play. He lost, and was tossed. Then one inning later, the Red Wings’ manager, Mike Quade, got himself booted for arguing a pickoff on SS Engelb Vielma. (Different umpire this time). Really, Mike? Winning’s nice and all, but you do have another game to go after this one; is tying it up and going to extra frames all that important?

[Box Score]

Rochester Red Wings 3, Syracuse Chiefs 2 (Game 2)

No hard feelings spilled over into the nightcap. IF Leonardo Reginatto and C Mitch Garver each went 2-3, but Garver still is not worthy of Chris Gimenez’s big-league spot. The official Twins scouting report on him reads “don’t care for the cut of his jib, arrgh, mateys.”

Nik Turley and Drew Rucinski split the start, with Turley doing better and Drew worse. Jake Reed came in and got a “blown save” on a sac fly, which doesn’t seem fair. He let the tying run get on to lead off the ninth, but still secured the Rochester win, Brandon Kintzler-style.

Reed is from Arizona, and went to the University of Oregon. If he was going to go to Oregon for his education, why not Reed College? No baseball to speak of, yet the famous Dr. Demento went there. Dr. Demento had a radio show in the 70s and 80s which played goofy music by the likes of Weird Al Yankovic and Tom Lehrer. If you know the tune “Fish Heads,” it’s because of Dr. Demento. The good Doctor went to college at Reed, but he’s from Minneapolis. A Minneapolis native who would have fit in nicely on Demento’s show is Har Mar Superstar. Har Mar went to the same high school as 90s Cardinals GM Walt Jocketty. Jocketty at one point hired former Twin Gary Gaetti and former Atlanta player Ron Gant. Ron Gant was involved in a famous disputed first base call. JUST LIKE IN GAME 1 OF THIS DOUBLEHEADER. It all lines up, you see.

[Box Score]

Double-A: Chattanooga Lookouts 3, Jacksonville Generals 1

Couple of dongs in this one, from 3B T.J. White and SS Nick Gordon. White went 2-2 and added two walks. The Pride Of Robbinsdale, OF Max “Mullet” Murphy, also ratcheted two hits. Stephen Gonsalves pitched 6.2 scoreless, Australian righty Todd Van Steensel helped keep it that way, and brand new Lookout Gabriel Moya finished things off by allowing a solo big fly.

[Box Score]

High-A: Ft. Myers Miracle 5, Jupiter Hammerheads 0

Moar Australians, please! LHP Lewis Thorpe had some kind of wacky movement going on. He struck out nine and walked three, amassing 97 pitches in five innings. And yet he faced 20 guys! So that’s less than five pitches per. Odd. The magnificently-named Michael Theofanopoulos and righty Williams Ramirez added another seven strikeouts in two innings each, so maybe the Hammerheads just whiff an awful lot.

The Miracle managed eight hits, and only C Kevin Garcia had more than one of them.

[Box Score]

Low-A: Kane County Cougars 2, Cedar Rapids Kernels 0, 10 innings

Nervous Muppet Clark Beeker was fantastic, getting all but the last ninth-inning out and fanning seven Cougars. His replacement, Colton Davis, got that last out swinging. Then promptly returned for the tenth, gave up three hits, a walk, and the ballgame.

The Mean Corn didn’t help out Beeker much, recording only five hits, two by SS Jordan Gore. I doubt very much that Gore is related to either the former Vice President or Oklahoma senator Thomas Pryor Gore, the blind grandfather of author Gore Vidal. It’d be kinda cool if he was related to both, though.

[Box Score]

Rookie League: , Elizabethton Twins 10, Burlington Royals 5

O-FENCE for the hometown crowd! And no boring home runs, either! RF Shane Carrier, 1B J.J. Robinson, IF Ariel Montesino, and DH/OF/”Star Wars” character Akil Baddoo each had multi-hit efforts. 20-year-old Venezuelan C Robert Molina bested them all with three.

His countryman Brusdar Graterol was effective in five innings, allowing just two runs. Reliever Randy Dobnak had more strikeouts, 5-3, but also more runs surrendered (you can use Math to figure out how many). Randy is from South Park, Pennsylvania, so as far as I’m concerned he’s Randy “Marsh” Dobnak from now on.

[Box Score]

Do you have a picture or pictures you took of tractors, farm animals, land, or other equipment you’d like to see us use for a future farm report? We would love your submissions and happily give you and/or your farm full credit and a shout-out.

Please e-mail myjah at if you are interested, and include the name of who took the photo (and their permission) so we may give the proper photo credits. Maybe some Camel Cash, if myjah can find her stash from 1991.

Photos must be large! We need at least 1800px width. If you’re not sure if it’s big enough, send the picture and I will tell you (TWSS).